THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Love is more than a sentiment,
It's putting another's needs ahead of your own.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The weather man is being kind to us today
here in beautiful West Michigan. Here it
is the beginning of July almost, and the
war department and me decided we needed a
couple of blankets last night. It dipped down to a cool
63 degrees. Seems awful strange. I'm not
complaining, mind you. The high today is
expected to only reach 70. "The war department"
has a day off today and last night she listed
off her "projects" she has planned for today. I
most DEFINITELY plan to take a nice long
ride for later this afternoon.
I know that is a good thing to do
when she is in one of her "moods." They are
saying a slight chance of rain showers this
afternoon, but I think I shall take the risk:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
_______________
THE COMICS
300 times
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j010.html
how it all started
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j011.html
a hobby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j012.html
in this country
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j013.html
call me panties
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j014.html
Bullwinkle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j015.html
I told you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j016.html
what irritates me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j017.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the ghost of Tenessee Ernie Ford
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5788.html
from grass to glass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5789.html
prized possesion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5790.html
boogy board
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5791.html
airline safety
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5793.html
A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter
came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied,
"Meat loaf and a kind word."
When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said,
"Okay, so where's the kind word?"
The waiter put down the meat loaf and sighed, bent down,
and whispered gently, "Don't eat the meat loaf."
__________
A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and
watched helplessly while the cup failed to appear and
a nozzle sent coffee down the drain while another poured cream after it.
"Now that's automation!" he exclaimed. "It even drinks for you!"
____________
"My but you look different today Claudia." commented
Rene to her co-worker. "Your hair is extra curly, and
you have this wide-eyed look. What did you use --
special curlers and some dramatic eye make-up?"
"No!" replied Claudia.
"My damn vibrator shorted out this morning."
___________
Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large
high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met
with him privately and presented him with three envelopes
number 1, 2 and 3. "Open these if you run up against a
problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.
Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later,
sales took a downturn and Morris was really catching a lot
of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes.
He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope.
The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
Morris called a press conference and tactfully laid
the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied
with his comments, the press — and Wall Street —
responded positively, sales began to pick up and the
problem was soon behind him. About a year later, the company
was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with
serious product problems. Having learned from his previous
experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope.
The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the
company quickly rebounded. After several consecutive
profitable quarters, the company once again fell on
difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the
door and opened the third envelope.
The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."
___________________
Two Polish coal miners (Iggy & Stash) were down in the mine
working. The noon whistle blew for lunch and Iggy pulled
out a thermos of hot coffee. Stash looks at it and says,
"Say, Iggy, vat you got dere?"
Iggy says, "Dis is a 2 quart termos bottle."
Stash says, "Ya, I have to get me one."
That night Stash goes home, but forgets what it is called.
So the next day they are down in the mine working again
and the noon whistle blows for lunch and Iggy pulls out
his thermos of hot coffee. Stash looks at it and says,
"Say, Iggy, vat you got dere?"
Iggy says, "Dis is a 2 quart termos bottle."
Stash says, "Ya, I have to get me one."
That night Stash goes home, but forgets what it is called
again. Well, Stash really wants one of these things. So he
decides the next day when he asks he's going to write it
down so he remembers what it is.
The next day they are down in the mine working again and
the noon whistle blows for lunch and Iggy pulls out his
thermos of hot coffee. Stash looks at it and says,
"Say, Iggy, vat you got dere?"
Well, by this time Iggy's getting pretty upset. Every
day Stash asks what it is and never remembers so he
decides to just make up stuff since Stash isn't going to remember anyway.
So Iggy says, "Dis is a contraceptive."
Stash says, "Ya, I have to get me one." And he writes it down.
That night Stash is in the neighborhood drug store and the
pharmacist sees him walking around and says to him, "Can I help you?"
Stash says, "Ya, I'd like a contraceptive."
The pharmacist says, "Sure, what size?"
Stash says, "Give me da 2 quart size, I'll be working in da hole all day!"
____________
Matt was on vacation in Atlantic City, playing the slot machines. It
was his first time in a casino, and wasn't sure how the machines operated.
"Excuse me," he said to a casino employee. "How does this work?"
The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and
operate the release handle.
"And where does the money come out?" asked Matt.
"Usually at the ATM."
___________
BUFFALO Bill
Taint
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vgffdesw.htm
Taint Taster
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nbcfsxfd.htm
Time to Leave Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mhfdesere.htm
_______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Say No To Vista - Get Linux
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001707.html
Cat And Parrot
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001708.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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