Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Sandy and Buffy are getting ready to go do the shopping
and I am staying inside till the temperatures drops a little. I did
some shopping yesterday when it was 90 outside and I felt
like I had been out in the desert for a month when I got home.
I stopped over at our local supermarket which was having a
re-opening sale after remodeling. Someone was over in the
flower and balloon department blowing up helium balloons. I
don't know whether it was bad balloons or lack of talent but
they exploded at least four balloons. They were loud and sure
got my attention because BANG is not what you expect to
hear in produce. I guess you can say we are a friendly store
as no one fired a few rounds in return heh heh.
Eva demanded to go to the store so they took her. That took a
little bit of doing because everytime Eva sees a pen she has
to draw on herself with it. They managed to cover the worst of
it without bundling her up like an Eskimo. Waste of time worrying
because all kids do it and it all washes off eventually. I had a
large
can of pens and pencils on my desk a couple of weeks ago and
the only thing left are the ones that don't work or need sharpening,
even the can is gone. No checks or letters to write so I am good.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Acting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer
remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theater
where
they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only
one
line, you must walk on to the stage carrying a rose, you must hold
the
rose with just one finger and your thumb to your nose, sniff the
rose
deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"
The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing
his
line over and over again. Finally the time came.
The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great
passion delivered the line; "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
The theater erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and
the
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The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?"
He asked. "No!" the director screamed, "You forgot the bloody rose!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
be nice
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thot for the day
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new hardware found
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Booted Your Computer
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Borrow A Condom
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Bosses Decisions
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two girls were sitting at lunch one day discussing their bosses.
One
said she had just quit because her boss was not strictly on the up
and up.
"How's that?" asked the other.
"He asked if I knew the difference between sex and a corned beef
sandwich?"
"What's that got to do with it", asked her friend.
"When I said no, he asked me if I would like to have lunch."
Nadine: I've decided to throw myself at that gorgeous new man at
the
health club.
Jill: Hmmm, I heard that he prefers women who play hard
to
get.
Nadine: Honey, I'm not playing. I mean business.
This keeps happening over and over again... In Sacramento, a
30-year-old teaching intern was arrested for having sex in the
backseat of her car with a 16-year-old male student. Boy, this
really
shows how bad California's public schools are. Our kids aren't even
getting sex from certified teachers -- they're substitutes! Get
someone in there with a credential! - Jay Leno
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How do women get minks?
A. The same way minks get minks.
This old couple is ready to go to sleep so the old man lays on the
bed
but the old woman lays on the floor.
The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"
The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a
change."
As a pretty girl boarded his bus, the driver asked, "Where'd you get
that sweater with the knobs on it?"
Without blinking an eye, she replied, "The same place you got your
pants with the gear shift."
Q. Why did the blonde go half way to Finland, turn around and
come back home?
A. It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was
a
TV set.
Q. What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have
VD?
A. Having your dentist confirm it.
Thought for the Day: There is an upside to Medicare paying for
Viagra: If the elderly are having sex, they won't be out driving on
the roads.
You know the romance is over when you come to bed, ready to make
love
to your wife, and she is on the phone, and she tells whoever she is
talking to that she will call them back in ten minutes...
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Greeting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A good Norwegian couple moved from Norway to the USA. Ole and Lena
went
to church (Norwegian Lutheran), and after the preacher finished his
sermon he then introduced this new couple, Booka and Anna to the
Congregation, who all stood up applauded and welcomed them to
America.
Then the preacher ask the congregation to help this new couple in
any
way they could in order to help them get established. Eric stood and
said he owned two lumber yards and would give them enough lumber to
build a new barn. Sven stood and said he owned two grocery stores
and he
would give them enough food to last them a month. Hilda stood and
said
she would prepare and plant their flower garden. After each one sat
down, the entire congregation clapped.
Now Lena stood up and said Ole and me will give them all the sex
they
want for one month. A hush fell over the congregation. The preacher
quickly dismissed the services and walked directly to Lena and asked
why
she had said that.
Lena replied, "Vel, I leant over to Ole and said 'Vot should ve gif
to
de new nice cuple from Norvey?', Unt he said 'Screw em'!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Myrddin and Aspazia were having dinner and the conversation got
around
to transplants and artificial body parts.
"They'll make an artificial dick next," Aspazia said.
"Bullshit!" replied Myrddin. "There are some things you can't make.
Besides, what would you make it from?"
"Iron," she told him.
"Don't be stupid, woman. It would rust."
"Ok, brass then," she insisted.
"That's bloody ridiculous," scoffed Myrddin. "Men would never be
able to
keep it clean."
"Rubbish!" she told him. "For years, I've watched you polish yours
while
watching porno videos...!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Astrology Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Astrological After Sex Comments
Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"
Taurus: "I'm hungry -- pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"
Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."
Sagittarius: "Don't call me -- I'll call you."
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Daddys Girl
http://silverandgol
Carolyn with/ Can' t Help Falling In Love With You
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In His Time
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Japan's Crop Art!
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Surfin Surfari
Printable Maps Via Wesley
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How To Annoy People
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Puzzle Park! Via Shangy
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
10 Tips for Saving Gas
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US Flag
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USA Patriotism
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Movie Clips
I Like Boobs
http://www.buffalos
Idiot
http://www.buffalos
IKEA Ford
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Komiek
http://www.buffalos
Kosovo Music Video
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The Making Of An Insurgent
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The Egg, Lemon, And Orange
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The Genie And The Blonde
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The Proper Way To Listen To Classical Music
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They Were Expendable
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Women Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Subject: Words for Women to Live By
1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt.... a wedge of lime, and a shot of
tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and
deal with
it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS, and this is just
your
personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me
here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes
you walk
funny.
11. When life gives you lemons - turn them into lemonade then mix it
with
vodka.
12. Remember where ever there is a good looking, sweet man, single
or
married, there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the
hardest..
14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a
daughter
who thinks she's wrong.
Dianne
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
breast feeding
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breast ex
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breast feeding 2
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breast implants
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breast reduction
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a man from Bombay
Who ate gallons of beans everyday
He farted so loud
He attracted a crowd
But the smell made them all run away
There was a young dancer, Priscillla,
Who flavored her cunt with vanilla.
The taste was so fine,
Men and beasts stood in line,
Including a stud armadilla.
There once was a girl from Cape Cod
who thought all children came from God
but it wasn't the Almighty
who got up her nightie.
It was Roger The Lodger by God!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Topsy Turvy- Upside Down Tomato Planter
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must have let you drop off the radar screen and
haven't sent you anything in ages.
Thought you would get a chuckle out of this. Enjoy A man was lying
in bed with his gorgeous new girlfriend. After having great sex,
she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles -- something she
seemed to love to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love
doing that?' 'Because,' she replied, 'I miss mine.'
Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it??
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
As luck would have it, Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the
same day. Through an administrative error, Clinton got sent to
heaven while the Pope got sent to hell. The Pope explained the
situation, his paperwork was checked, and the error acknowledged,
but the devil said, "It will take us at least 24 hours to make the
switch." The next day, when the Pope arrived at the Pearly Gates, he
met Bill Clinton on his way down. "Sorry about the mix-up, Bill."
"No problem, your holiness." "I'm so excited about finally getting
to heaven." "Really? Why?" "Because all my life I've prayed to the
Virgin Mary and now I want to meet her." Clinton grinned and said,
"Oops. Sorry, but you're a day late!"
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1629
Time to Leave
Katie: It is time to head back home.
Tami: We have had our excitment, Ghosts, Wraiths, Leprehauns, and a
Nessie, but yes I suppose it time.
Rudy: Sandi is outside ready to drive us to the Airplane.
Tami: Gulp!
Later at the plane.
Tami: Do we have enough fuel to make it back Sandi?
Sandi: This time we will have a head wind. So we will be short
about
fifty miles unless we discard about two hundred pounds of weight.
Katie: How much do you weigh Tami?
Sandi: I was thinking of your shoe trunk Tami. You shoe trunk is
easily two hundred pounds. We could ship it by boat.
Tami: My shoes!!!!! Never, I must have my shoes!
Rob: We could ship them by boat Dear, we must think of our lives.
Tami: How much do you weigh Rob?
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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