THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Experience is something you don't get until just after
you need it.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, did everyone make the transition from analog tv
to digital smoothly last Friday? I was so busy and
involved with the puter that I barely even noticed.
Of course we have old tv sets in this house. But a converter
box wouldn't really help us. The trees in this
neighborhood wouldn't let a signal in unless you
had like a hundred foot tv tower. If you are having
difficulties, most likely it is because you can only
get a few local channels. That means that you will
have to get rid of those rabbit ears and get a
decent tv antenna. I do have a basic reception
type service with Comcast cable. so its no big
deal to me. I seldom watch regular tv anyway. I
rely primarily on the Internet to watch television.
One thing that I did notice right away? Leo, my old
computer, had only 500 meg of ram. While Barney, the
new one, has 3 gig. SWEET!! What a difference when
watching movies!! The other nice thing I noticed?
I didn't have to delete all that stupid AOL install crap
that Leo had on his restore discs! Barney also does not
Mcaffeys virus scanner on his system files, either.
I wouldn't wish Mcaffey's on my worst enemies.
Altho I did have to remove an install option for Netzero,
Barney pretty much comes clean of all that silly nonsense.
I think I like Barney:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
men are like animals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g060.html
in the audience
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g061.html
bubblegum
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g062.html
an honest lawyer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g063.html
Damn it Martha
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g064.html
the old rythm and the new math
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g065.html
say it with flowers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g066.html
Spider man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g067.html
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!!
backstage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5699.html
going to war
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5700.html
the lizard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5701.html
beware of thermal imaging
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5702.html
problematic take off
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5703.html
Two ministers died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down.
You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as
ministers. What'll it be?"
The first minister says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring
above the Rocky Mountains."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first minister.
The second minister mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will
any of this week count, St. Peter?"
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep
track of what you're doing."
In that case," says the second minister, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second minister disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells
St. Peter to recall the two ministers. "Will you have any
trouble locating them?" he asks.
"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's
somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But
the second one could prove to be more difficult."
"Why?" asketh the Lord.
"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."
____________________
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today,
and all the other kids could only count to four, but
I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm b londe?" the girl asked.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today,
and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it
to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today,
and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests,
but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal
a fully developed chest.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No honey, it's because you're 24."
________________
A fat man was seated on his front steps drinking a can
of beer when a busy body spinster from down the street
began to berate him for his appearance. "What a disg-
usting sight," she said. "If that belly was on a woman,
I'd swear she was pregnant."
To which the man smiled and replied, "Madam, it was and
she is."
______________
Morris had just had coronary artery bypass surgery a
month ago and now is at the doctor's office for his
final follow up visit. Of course Morris wants to know
when he can start having sex again.
The doctor explains to Morris that he would be able to
resume his sex life as soon as he could climb two
flights of stairs without becoming winded.
Morris listens attentively and then says, "What if I
look for the women who live on the ground floor?"
_________________
"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient.
"One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that
the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" bursts the patient. "How could I let
you do such a thing to me!"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, at which
point the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back.
"Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other
ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to live,
his other testicle must be cut off, too. Again,
the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doctor, and the patient
has to agree with the operation. After two weeks of being
testicle-less, the patient returns to the doctor and says,
"I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is
now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient, the doctor gives him
the bad news: If he wants to live, his penis has to go.
Of course, the patient does not want to hear about it.
"You want to die?" asks the doctor.
"But...how do I pee?"
"We'll install a plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
So the patient has his penis removed, and, a while after the
operation, the unfortunate man enters the doctor's office again. He is very angry.
"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!"
"What?"
"Can you tell me what the hell is happening??"
The doctor examines the patient more carefully and says,
"Hmmm, I don't know. Could it be the jeans?"
_________________
BUFFALO BILL
Pub Drive
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsdsw.htm
RC Cooler
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axdse.htm
Rubber band
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aswqqw.htm
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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