Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
From Cheryl in Ga
On this 65th anniversary of D-day, let us all take a moment to
remember those who have sacrificed themselves for the freedoms that
we enjoy today.
I've walked the beaches of Normandy, sat in the bunkers along the
shore, and even walked amongst the soldiers graves at the American
Cemetery.
It was an extremely surreal, yet humbling, moment in my life, much
like what I experience each and every time I walk among the paths at
Arlington.
These heroes may be gone, but they should never be forgotten.
D - Day - Invasion of Normandy
Buried in a cemetery on Normandy's hallowed ground
are the remains of many soldiers who faced a crucial test,
and made the supreme sacrifice while invasion bound.
Today, their simple grave sites can be readily found,
Unfortunate victims of the conflict - their grave markers attest.
There were many soldiers on June 6th of 1944 who stood
nervously aboard landing crafts that fateful day,
where many gallant and courageous soldiers constantly would
openly pray and promise to alter their life if they could
while participating in the invasion of Normandy on D-Day.
Everywhere along the beach the enemy artillery shelled
the invading forces with deadly explosives where they lay.
Yet, not many soldiers complained or quailed
when their wounded comrades around them wailed
their death cries in Normandy on D- Day.
On and on the determined and weary forces swept
through the artillery barrage that didn't wither away.
When the dead and wounded fell, the living stepped,
attempting to charge the enemy's stronghold which kept
them bogged down on the beaches of Normandy on D-Day.
The enemy eventually fell back under pressure at last
by successfully attacking them where their strength lay,
Moving with a sweep of their flanking batteries fast,
and withstanding their constant artillery blast,
Stormed their fortifications in Normandy on D- Day.
There aren't many soldiers alive today - those who pressed
beside their fellow country men who perished that day -
but the surviving veterans have always confessed
they would prefer to keep tales of their experiences at rest
when they were involved in the invasion of Normandy on D- Day.
The symbolic flags on the gravesites still wave,
and there are occasions when bugles still play,
Where white, permanent crosses on each grave
keep alive the memory of the Nation's brave
who fought and died in Normandy on D- Day.
Joseph T. Renaldi
buffalo says I turned on the History Channel this morning and
they were showing the original MASH movie. Since they had
been showing Band of Brothers episodes on other holidays
I expected to see something on the anniversary of D-day but
not a Korean War movie. I notice later they have a Pearl Harbor
program on, right war wrong front heh heh. I guess that is closer
though than Discovery doing Deadliest Catch reruns on Mother's
Day.
Enjoy the Chips.... buffalo
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Snow Chips
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THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY....but aren't! (Snowfall Edition...
- I got over nine inches last night.
- Man, that white stuff is covering everything. I can barely see my
own
car!
- I love when it lands on my tongue.
- Go on. Lick that pole. I dare ya.
- I got so wet playing with it.
- Don't rub that in your sister's face!
- Dammit! You got it all over my new pants.
- It's even soaked through my shoes.
- This isn't the soft, fluffy kind. It's hard, wet and you can pack
it
down.
- Once it gets all dirty and mushy, I get sick just looking at it.
- Sometimes when I get hot, I rub some down my neck.
- My children love rolling in it, but I make them wear gloves so
they
don't catch anything.
- It's so deep now, you can tunnel through it.
- Don't yell too loudly. It'll all come down and cover you. We'll
have
to call in some dogs.
- Don't put your tongue on it or it'll get stuck. You want your Mom
to
see you like that?
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School Chips
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A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she
sees a message. It says, "Jimmy Poole, has got the biggest tool, in
the whole damn school!"
She yells, "Whose Jimmy Poole?"
This kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Jimmy Poole."
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Hiking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women are hiking in the woods. After an
hour or so, they come to a stream. Unable
to cross, they decide to walk along the stream
and look for a narrower place. Fortunately
they come to an old bridge spanning the stream.
Deciding the bridge safe, the two women proceed
to cross. Halfway across, one woman stops and
says to the other, "I`ve always wanted to be like
the guys, and urinate off a bridge."
The other woman looks around and says, "Well, I
don`t see anyone around, now`s your chance!"
The first woman drops her hiking shorts and backs
over to the side of the bridge. As she begins to
urinate, she looks over her shoulder.
"Holy shit!" she exclaims, "I just pissed in a
canoe!"
Alarmed, the second woman hurries over and peeks
at the stream. "Calm down," she says. "That wasn`t
a canoe you pissed in, it was only your reflection."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Scottish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One misty Scottish morn a man was driving through the hills to
Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander
steps
into the middle of the road. The man is about six foot seven and
built
like a fucking tank. He has a huge red beard and despite the gale
force
wind and freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt and his
tweed
shirt. At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is
absolutely beautiful -- slim, shapely, fair complexion..
stopping. The car driver's attention is dragged from the girl when
the
highlander opens his car door and drags him from the seat onto the
road.
"Right, you" he shouts, "I want you to masturbate!" "But......"
stammers
the driver. "Now...or I'll bloody kill you". So the driver turns his
back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate.
Thinking
of the girl on the roadside, this only takes a few seconds. "Right"
shouts the highlander. "Do it again!" "But....." says the driver.
"Now..." he bellows. So the driver does it again. "Right do it
again"
demands the highlander. This goes on for nearly two hours. The
driver
has cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, and despite the
mist
and wind, has collapsed in a sweating gibbering heap on the ground,
unable to walk. "Do it again" says the highlander. "I just can't any
more -- you'll just have to kill me," whimpers the man. The
highlander
looks down at the pathetic heap slumped on the roadside. "All right"
he
says, "NOW you can give my daughter a lift to Inverness."
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny got on a bus and sat down next to a man. He noticed
that
the man had a strange kind of shirt collar, so he asked him, "Excuse
me,
sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"
The man smiled kindly and answered, "I wear this collar because I am
a
Father."
Little Johnny thought a second and responded, "Sir, I have a father,
but
he wears his collar the other way around. Why do you wear your
collar so
differently?
The priest thought for a minute, and said, "I am the Father for
many."
Little Johnny quickly answered, "My father, too, is the father of
many.
He has four sons, four daughters and many grandchildren. But he
wears
his collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear yours
backwards?"
The priest, flustered, said impatiently, "I am the Father for
hundreds
and hundreds of people."
Little Johnny sat silently for a long time. As he got up to leave
the
bus, he leaned over to the priest and said, "Mister, maybe you
should
wear your pants backwards."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Valentine's Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loving Valentines from Us Gals to You Guys
You say you'ld like to screw me. You say I make you drool
But when it comes to making love you suck and I'd rather
use my mechanical tool.
You understand how to make me moan, how to make me squirm
But when it comes to your dick; it feels more like a little worm.
Size DOES matter. I don't care what they say
So please do both of us a favor and just go away.
Making love should be grand. It should make my heart to thump But
all I
usually get out of it is just feeling you hump!
Our relationship is over, it's kaput, its at the very end You're a
really bad fuck. I'm moving on to you best friend.
I've had relationships before boyfriends one and two
They're dead now, but their still better at making love than you.
You get it up, you put in, you go off and then you pull it out I'll
never have sex with you again you shitty lout!
Broad shoulders you have; a small waist and a really nice firm ass
But
you're too much in love with yourself so I think I'll have to pass.
Having sex with you has left me empty and bitter
I'd rather do it with the ugly guy next door .
I'm his baby sitter.
I'd like to have sex with you. You're built like a big stud horse
But
you're so damn ugly; I'd have to put a paper bag over your face of
course.
I wouldn't mind having sex with you. You're tender, gentle and kind
But
when someone's so ugly that it'd take two bags . that's where I draw
the
line!
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Subscribers and Friends
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Movie Clips
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Clean Your Glasses
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Dimitri The Stud
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Dronkrn
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Impotent Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Euphemisms For Impotence
15. 180 degrees shy of heaven
14. Performing with Flacido Domingo
13. A few parts shy of an erector set
12. Sch-wing and a miss
11. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense
10. The Null Monte
9. Disappointing Miss Daisy
8. Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics
7. Ascension Deficit Disorder
6. Bouncing the Check of Love
5. Less-than-Magic Johnson
4. All Doled up with nowhere to go
3. Welcome to Flaccid City. Population: You
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man of Adair
Who thought he would diddle a mare.
He climbed up a ladder
And jolly well had her,
With his backside a-wave in the air.
____________
There was a young fellow of Harrow
Whose john was the size of a marrow.
He said to his tart,
"How's this for a start?
My balls are outside in a barrow."
____________
There was a young bishop from Trest,
Who openly practiced incest.
"My sisters and nieces,
Are all dandy pieces,
And don't cost a cent," he confessed.
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TERMS FOR FEMALE MASTURBATION
5 Digit Disco
Backslappin' Betty
Buffing the box
Buffing the jewel
Buttering up the whisker biscuit
Damming the beaver
Diddling miss daisy
Diggin' for clams
Digitis Erectus
Fingering the fountain
Friday night lip service
Frosting the muffin of love
Giving yourself the finger
Going for the gooey duct
Lip smacking
Menage a'moi
Petting the kitty
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Bonus Chip
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Visit to the Doctor
The doctor was examining a young blonde model who was having
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"My dear, you have acute appendicitis,
The woman became quite angry and said, "Don't try hitting on me
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1614
The Last Supper?
Supper is served, an old fashion Irish Stew.
After everyone has eaten, Kathleen shows everyone to their separate
rooms.
Tami: Why do I have a separate bedroom that you Rob?
Rob: I guess it is the way things were done back then, you can
always
knock on my door later and I will let you in.
Rudy: A-Roo, I don't like sleeping alone either. I miss Pops!
Sandi: I will be in the next room if you need me Rudy.
Katie: I don't like it either but I will howl if I need something
okay!
Rob: Go to bed everyone and get some sleep!
Doors closing....
Later,,, at the stroke of midnight....
Moan... the sound dragging, shuffling feet and chains and the moans.
In Katie's room there is the sound of chattering..
Katie's eyes are wide open as she clutches the blanket around her
neck.
In Rudy's room he is up and has a fireplace poker in his paw.
Rudy: A-Rooo!
In Sandi's room there is the sound of: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Tami is out of her room and pounding on Rob's door.
Tami: Let me in! Let me in!
Rob: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Katie soon joins Tami in the hallway wearing her stocking cap and
nightgown. Katie is shaking: Come on and follow me little sister.
They are heading away from the noise when they turn around a
corner and just ten paces away is a man they both recognize in one
of the portraits as Sir Haggerty, a fallen Knight. He was
dishonored
during his service during one of the crusades and marked as a
coward.
There he was a few paces away dressed in his battle armour.
Sir Haggerty: I need your help so I can rest.
Katie: You are dead.
Sir Haggerty: I am dead, but I am not at peace.
Tami: We know your story Sir Knight.
Sir Haggerty: Tell me what you know.
Tami relates the story of his cowardice.
The Knight hangs his head and responds: I was not a coward, I was
betrayed. A messenger told me of a force of Arabs ahead of my
party.
I decided the force was too large to engage so I told my men we
would
not attack the force. It proved to be a wise decision. The next
force
we engaged we defeated. The third force my scouts told me were
again too large, but that time I was betrayed. When we pulled back,
we were seen as cowards. I started to become popular because of my
winnings on the field and became promoted on the field. I believe
someone wanted me dead or taken out of the picture.
Tami: But what can we do? This is all ancient history to us.
Sir Haggerty: You must move my bones to the proper burial place,
then
I can rest. Now I am buried in unholy ground. I can show you the
place.
Katie: We can do that.
To be Continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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