Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
As I am working on the lists, I am enjoying the second day of
70 degree warm in a row. Judging by the increase in child
noises outside I would say that school has been out for the
past week. Eva was camped out at the front window talking
to them yesterday and throwing toys out for them yo play with
even though I did spot one of her rain boots out there in the
tiger lilies. She wanted to go out to play with them but Eva
is a handful outside and she needs to be watched constantly
so she had to be content with watching until Buffy took her out.
Eva is seldom content to do what someone else wants so a
tantrum develops. I know she inherited it from her mom but
someone who taught her how to scream at 150 decibels should
be slapped.
The gas companies are trying to confuse us up here. They raised
the price of gas to almost 3.00 and then dropped it back to 2.84.
Not used to any decrease in price during tourist season. I think
they may have jumped it up more than the reason could support
and had to drop it again to cover their mistake. Doesn't matter
to me, I don't have any place to go.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Yooper Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick has been in the computer business for 25 years in Chicago and
is
finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of
land
in the U.P. as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing
dinner
when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big,
bearded
YOOPER standing there.
"Names Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge...
Having
a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come."
"Great," says Dick, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet
some
local folks. Thank you." As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn
you
there's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem... after 25 years in the computer business, I can
drink
with the best of 'em." Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops.
"More
'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
Damn, Dick thinks. Tough crowd. "Well, I get along with people. I'll
be
there. Thanks again."
Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at
these
parties, too."
"Now that's not a problem" says Dick, "Remember I've been alone
for six
months! I'll definitely be there... by the way, what should I wear?"
Enoch stops at the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just
gonna
be the two of us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Talent Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young apprentice talent agent went out to dinner and a few drinks
one
night. After a few drinks he met a woman and they had a few drinks
together then ended up at his place.
Things start to get pretty hot and he goes down on her. When he gets
close to it he hears something, so he puts his ear closer and hears
singing. It's a high pitched sweet voice singing an old song.
The man is so excited he forgets all about sex, he gets on the phone
and
calls his boss.
"Hello Joe you gotta hear this," and he puts the phone down by her
pussy
where the singing is still going on. "Did you hear that Joe, Did you
hear it?"
Joe says, "What the hell's wrong with you? Did you wake me up at
three
o'clock in the morning just to hear some cunt sing!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young Scotsman was all set up for his very first screw, but his
girlfriend says, "Sorry Jock, not without a condom."
Young Jock searched the town high and low, but being a Sunday, every
place was closed.
Walking around, he eventually met Old Angus, a very good friend of
his
father. Young Jock explained his problem.
Old Angus said, "Don't worry son, I can help you out."
Young Jock took off and the night was beyond his wildest
expectations. A
week later, he met Old Angus in the street and told him about his
experience.
"It was wonderful, Angus. Thanks to you, I had the best time I have
ever
had."
"Just glad I could help out son; now where's the condom?" asked Old
Angus.
Young Jock looked at him and replied, "I threw it away."
Old Angus, with a scowl on his face, said, "Ah, yer in trouble now
laddie--that condom belonged to the club."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Leg Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and his wife, moved from Conroe , Texas to Mendenhall, MS .
The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Texas , it
cost them $2000. Per year!
When they arrived in Mendenhall, they went to an insurance agency to
see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg.
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The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in
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The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and
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Peggy
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the difference between watching the Special Olympics and
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you
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chance
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Q. There are 10 types of people in the world.
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I've really been working out, lately. Soon I'll be able to touch my
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so...
Q. What do you call a camel with no humps?
A. Humphrey
Q. How much does a grand piano cost?
A. $1000.00.
The government will be requiring new food labels that are more
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Products will now be labeled, "no fat", "low fat", "reduced fat " ;
and
"fat, but with a great personality.
A baby penguin walks into a bar and says to the bar man,
"Have you seen my dad?"
The barman says, "What does he look like?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clinton Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill and Hilary Clinton were the guests of
honor at the World Marching Girl and Drum
Majorette Championships in New York.
Hilary noticed that Bill had a smile on his face,
so she said, " Well honey, what are you smiling at?"
Bill replied, "Honey, if I had another inch,
I'd be pretty popular amongst them Marching Girls."
A big smile came across Hilary's face. Bill said,
"What are you smiling about?"
Hilary replied, "Bill, if you had one inch less,
you'd be out there marching with them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Movie Clips
Alabama Death Penalty Execution
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Aussie Beaches
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Baseball Flash
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Best Pool Shot By A Naked White Chick
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fiddle Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old sea captain, and a little guy who played the fiddle, were
arguing
about women.
The old sea captain tells the little fiddle player that women can't
be
trusted, and they will not be faithful under any circumstances.
The little fiddle player said well he bet his wife would not do
anything
like that.
So, the old sea captain said he would bet his ship and cargo against
the
fiddler player's violin that she would be unfaithful.
The fiddle player took the bet, and invited the sea captain over to
his
house, and sent the two of them into the bedroom while he waited
outside
the door.
A half hour went by and he heard nothing from his wife, so he
started
singing to the tune of Auld Lang Sine:
Be true, my love, be true my love, It's only for an hour. Don't
screw,
my love, don't screw, my love, And the ship and cargo's ours.
She sang back to him:
Too late, my love, too late, my love, He's got me round the middle,
He's
screwed me once, he'll do it twice, And you've lost your damned old
fiddle!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
And nothing could make a man madder
Than losing to some woman's bladder
I see them some nights
All hitting the heights
That no man could reach with a ladder
~~~~~~
St. David of Wales is unique
But not for the words he would speak
Or the life that he led;
He's, oddly, instead
Remembered for taking a leek.
~~~~~~
In one little whorehouse I've been
I sampled the charms of Maureen
Affection I sought
But something I caught
Was turning my gonads to green
~~~~~~
I wouldn't think that was so bad
As the sweet little thing that I had
In gay old Paris --
What she gave to me
Has turned my poor gonads to plaid
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Ballerina goes to the doctor, "Doc I am having terrible trouble
with
the most awful wind. Every time I pirouette I fart", she cries.
"Hmmm," says the Doctor, "I'd like to see that if possible" The
ballerina get up, pirouettes and Phrrrt... farts loudly.
"That's amazing, do it again."
Again the pirouette is accompanied by a loud fart.
"Hmmm," says the Doctor "I think I may be able to help" he bends
down
and picks up a long pole with a curious hook on the end.
The ballerina starts back in alarm, "What the hell are you going to
do
with that?" she asks.
"Open the window, it stinks in here for Gods sake!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
RENAULT & FORD TO MERGE
Renault & Ford are working together to build a small car.
They are using the Renault Clio & the Ford Taurus as a basis for the
new zippy little car . . . The Clitaurus.
The car comes in pink, with fur* on the dash.
*Models assembled in Brazil will not offer the fur option.
Lloyd
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1623
The Morning Routine
BJ starts the car, opens the front door and motions for Katie to get
inside. Katie just sits there.
Katie: No, you open the back door per page three, section two,
paragraph one.
BJ: Good grief!
BJ opens the back door, Katie jumps in. BJ starts driving.
Katie: Remember father, to the lake and back at the least.
Through gritted teeth BJ: Yes, Katherine, I remember the terms.
Back at the house Sandi has finished her breakfast and is reading
the
paper.
Rudy is snoring loudly on Dad's bed.
BJ pulls up in the driveway. Diana is in the front yard.
Diana: You are running late for work aren't you.
BJ: #%#@^#^%!!!!
Katie: Morning mother.
BJ leads Katie into the house and heads to the car.
Diana: Your face sure is red dear.
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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