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________________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Wow, it was a big one last night! NO NO!
not that, you got a dirty mind! I meant the
storm! Thunder rolled in and lighting struck
like it was doomsday here in West Michigan last
night. The whole house just shook. In fact, the
wind was so powerful that if you closed your
eyes, you could have believed it was a runaway
freight train in your imagination. The news
reports say that there are several nearby cities
shutdown, this morning, due to storm damage,
and that thousands are without power. Fortunately,
we didn't have another power outage at our house
last night. They say that the old timers will
call this one the biggest one since the storm of
'84. Did you ever wonder who "They" was? I used
to ask that question too. Then one day I looked
in the mirror and decided to quit asking. I'm
afraid someone might tell me:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
witness protection program
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h050.html
getting the vote
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h051.html
thank goodness you're here!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h052.html
I'm so hot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h053.html
it sounds better
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h054.html
with this instrument
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h055.html
learning yoga
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h056.html
incentive plan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h057.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
fathers day poem-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5739.html
Statler and waldorf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5734.html
Chinchillia day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5735.html
crazy hands
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5736.html
dangerous ground
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5737.html
little red riding hood
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5738.html
"A study in Italy showed that people who eat a lot of pizza
are less likely to get colon cancer. And another study says
masturbation reduces risk of prostate cancer. It's what I've
always said: Diet and exercise." --Jay Leno
________________
The children and grand children of an elderly Jewish woman
decided to send grandma on a cruise...
Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser.
He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D."
She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.?
He said, "U.D. is Upper Deck."
She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the
purser there and he said, I see, that in addition to U.D., you also have O.C.
"Grandma replied, "O.C.? Vos is O.C.?"
The purser said, "O.C. is Outside Cabin."
Grandma, needless to say, was delighted.
She then showed her ticket to the cabin boy, and he said,"Oh,
I see that you also have B.I.B."
"B.I.B.? Vos is B.I.B.?" asked grandma.
The cabin boy answered, " B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed."
"Oh!" she said; Mine children and grandchildren are vonderful."
Well, the next morning, bright and early, the staff came right
into her room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed, and she said, "F.U.C.K.."
Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?"
To which she replied, "Yes, F.U.C.K. Foist U Could Knock!"
_____________
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding
enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at
Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to
check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.
The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began
reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar
gun, but it would not reset and then turned off.
Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar
had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a
low flying exercise near the location.
Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint
to the USMC Base Commander.
The reply came back in true USMC style: Thank you for your letter. We
can now complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to
know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence
of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and
automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.
Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had
also automatically locked on to your equipment location.
Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation
for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert
status and was able to override the automated defense system before the
missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.
The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them,
since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson,
the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his
left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is
broken on his holster.
Thank you for your concern.
____________
A man phoned a retail pharmacy to talk about his
prescription. He said to the pharmacist, "My doctor ordered
this prescription for me. Your store filled it and gave me
a bottle with 100 capsules in it about two weeks ago. I'm
supposed to take one capsule every six hours and I've been
doing that. This little packet came out of the bottle while
I was getting my capsule once. The packet said, "do not
eat" on it. That was four days ago, and I'm really hungry!"
_____________
There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table.
When he wasn't looking, mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into
Grandpa's drink. After a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had
to go to the bathroom. When he returned, his trousers are wet all over.
'What happened, Grandpa?' asked his concerned grand children.
'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know.
I had to go to the bathroom.
So I took it out and started to pee,
but then I noticed it wasn't mine,
so I put it back!'
______________________
BUFFALO Bill
Call To Navy Recruiter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012813.htm
Country Music
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012814.htm
Crappy hp Printer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012815.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Amelie's Cafe
http://tinyurl.com/nhsq75
Space Fighting
http://tinyurl.com/cownkm
Bad Start to Week
http://tinyurl.com/32rhpn
_______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Perverted Place
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001687.html
Sick Manager
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001688.html
_________________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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