Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I did pretty good at TOPS last week, had a 5 pound loss for the
week and decided to get something different for supper. Taco Bell
had been running a 89 cent Nachos special that was really pretty
good so I ordered four of those and four Chalupas and headed for
home. When I got home and opened the bag there was a small bag of
tortilla chips and a little container of cheese, definitely not what
I expected. So I got back in the Jimmy and drove out to Taco
Bell where I found out that was their idea of what 89 cent Nachos
should be, now that the special was over. I found out the .89
Nachos were now a 1.79 or possibly even 2.29, so I asked for four of
the 1.79 nachos and was given them free. Yes, it surprised
me too but I still think they had the .89 nachos on the menu and
just screwed up the first order but no matter who was to blame they
made
it right.
I went to Taco Bell about a month ago as they were advertising a new
Taco Salad in a tortilla shell bowl that looked like it was filled
with meat and other goodies. When I got that home, under the first
layer of meat, was a big chunk of rice. It tasted good though and in
spite
of being a little disappointed, I wasn't surprised. They have been
using rice as filler in quite a few dishes lately but it is probably
more
healthy and costs less.
I know that most of you don't consider Taco Bell gourmet cooking and
there are probably a few that don't even consider it food but it is
more a nostalgic thing with me. In my younger days as a single
sailor engaging in extreme social
drinking I subsided on a diet of Taco Bell and pizzas. I do remember
enough
of that period of my life that when you bought a beef taco, it had
beef in it
and no rice and it was cheaper.
That sounds like the first signs of growing old , I remember. heh
heh
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Instant Flower Power Mat Grow thousands of flowers without
dirtying your hands
The Flower Power Mat is the easiest way to garden. With a thousand
seeds per mat, Flower Power Mat does the work for you. Just place
the mat, cover with soil, water and watch flowers grow. With a huge
variety of flowers you will be able to create show stopping
arrangements.
Buy one for $19.95 + S&H and receive the other on us-
Order Now
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honeymoon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their
honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Joe the Bellboy.
The first man married a nurse. Joe showed them to their room and
thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot to
trot". The second man married a telephone operator. Joe showed them
to their room and thought to himself,"Wow, he's a lucky one.
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
button..." The third man married a school teacher. Joe showed them
to their room and thought to himself "poor guy, she's pretty but
teachers are just too frigid". The next morning Joe reported to work
at 5:30 in the morning. He expected only the teacher's husband to
call for breakfast any minute and the other two would call much
later in the day.
6:00 a.m.
---------
The phone rings it's the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
nurse's husband opened the door and Joe stepped back in shock. The
man's pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. Joe
asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse. The man sourly
replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was
her nagging voice saying " you're not sanitary, you're not
sanitary". Joe went back down to the main desk to wait for the next
call.
6:30 a.m.
--------
The telephone operator's husband calls for breakfast. Joe brings it
as fast as possible hoping for the best. The man opens the door and
Joe stepped back in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly
combed and pressed. Joe asks," What happened? Telephone operators
are suppose to be as sexy as their voices." The man sourly replies
"Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night
was her a nasal voice saying, "your three minutes are up, your three
minutes are up." Joe went back down to the desk, just knowing the
teachers husband will be calling any minute.
4:30 p.m.
--------
The teacher's husband called for breakfast. Joe can't believe it but
quickly took the breakfast to the couples room. The man opened the
door and Joe took a step back in shock. The wore only his boxers and
his hair was a mess. He had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
legs. Joe fearing the worst asked " What happened to you? Did you
have a fight?" The man smiles and happily replies, "No. Son, when
you marry be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night
was her sexy smooth voice saying "We are going to do this over and
over, until we get right."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
upside down cake
http://www.thepostm
I've had it, doc
http://www.thepostm
Confucious say
http://www.thepostm
Blessed Are The Women
http://www.sydesjok
Blind Date
http://www.sydesjok
Blind Horny Mouse http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A farmer has to go out to plow his rental field about
10 miles from his farm. To get there he must drive his tractor, and
his dog old Joe trots along beside him. Halfway through the plowing,
the tractor runs out of fuel. He wanders out to the road and flags
down a ride, which just happens to be a Ferrari. The driver says,
"You can have a ride, but that dog can't get in my car." The farmer
says, "Don't worry. Old Joe will keep up." The driver figures he'll
show the farmer just what his car can do and lets it rip. Just as he
is going into 5th gear, he looks out the window and sure enough Old
Joe is right beside him. He can't wait to have a look at the amazing
dog, so he slams on the brakes, and the car stops rather abruptly.
The driver jumps out exclaiming, "He's the most incredible dog I've
ever seen! But what kind of collar is that he's wearing?" The
farmer shook his head and said, "That's not a collar, that's his
asshole... he's not used to stopping that fast."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE SIMPLE MIGRAINE RELIEF SYSTEM THAT CAN -
CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
Try it for FREE!
BENEFITS:
* Works on even the most severe cases
* Available without a prescription
* Safe for frequent use
* Supported by published studies
* NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES!
Dr. Hyson's Headache System has been clinically shown to relieve
migraines and severe tension headaches in minutes. Supported by
peer-reviewed published studies, Dr. Hyson's is fast, safe and
effective.
* NO PILLS
* NO SIDE EFFECTS
* GUARANTEED RELIEF IN MINUTES
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy and his talking dog "Rover" went to a bar.
The bartender says "We don't allow dogs in here."
The guy says "You don't understand, my dog talks."
The bartender says "Prove it and i'll let him stay."
The guy says "Ok, Rover tell the bartender you want a beer."
So, Rover says "I want a beer."
The bartender says "No way, you are a ventriloquist.
The guy says "Ok, I'll go to the bathroom and you ask him."
The bartender says "Well, what can I get ya?"
Rover replys "I want a beer."
The bartender can't believe it. He reaches in his wallet
pulls out a ten dollar bill and tells Rover it's yours if
you go to the bar across the street and say the same thing.
The guy comes out of the bathroom and can't believe his dog
is gone. He says "What have you done with my dog!"
The bartender says "Don't worry, I sent him across the street to the
other bar."
Furious the guy runs out of the bar to see Rover bangin a
sexy poodle on the street corner.
The guy says "Rover, Rover! What are you doing, I've never
seen you do this before?"
Rover says "I've never had ten bucks before!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flies Away
Stop swatting, shooing, and spraying and get the ultimate
green invention for getting rid of flies.
Protect your farm, your home, your property, and your
barbecues from fly invasion.
Just add water plus the bait and hang outside. That's it!
Flies Away makes your home a No-Fly Zone.
Traps & Kills up to 20,000 flies!
Currently used by farmers, equestrians to get rid of flies.
Patented, bio-degradable and non-toxic bait, used by the U.S.
Military.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Job Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Ask A Man To Do Something
Always remember these five important rules when asking a man to do
something:
1. Make sure the man is conscious.
1a. Then give him a Blow Job
2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage with
the sports section.
3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three, or four
hours, max.
3b. Then ... give him a Blow Job
4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. A blow job will usually do
just fine. Or, offer to cook him something that doesn't have a
peel-back cover.
5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate. Microwave his remote on
high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and microwave again for
another 35 minutes. Or, threaten to not give him a blow job.
6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd better" or "do as
I say and no one will get hurt".
7. When all else fails ... Blow Job.
OK, seven rules.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frustrated, Intimidated Or Overwhelmed By Photoshop?
"You Are About To Discover The Fastest Way To Master The Basics Of
Adobe Photoshop (With Just 2 Hours Of Instantly Viewable Video
Tutorials)" Read this free report and learn about a totally unique
step-by-step video training system, designed to make any newbie user
totally competent with the basics of Photoshop in record time...
...Just 2 hours from now you'll be able to produce your own graphics
quickly, easily and completely stress free!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marina: "Do you ever miss the ex?"
Amy: "OH! All the time! You wouldn't believe how much!"
Marina: "Wow! I didn't think you cared about him at all."
Amy: "Wait a minute! Did you say 'ex' or 'sex'?"
~~~~
When asked by their host if she would like another
drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly
and said, "No thank you. My husband limits me to one
drink."
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it;
after two drinks ...anyone can!"
~~~~
Jeff was married and a philanderer. A friend finally
took him to task. "When you run around with other
women, doesn't your conscience bother you?"
"Yes, for a certain length of time...and then if I
don't hear from their lawyers, I feel better."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neckline Slimmer - Resistance Toning System
Reverse the effects of aging without cosmetic surgery. Get age
defying results with the world's first resistance toning system for
the neck, chin and face. It tightens the muscles that keep your face
and neck looking young and beautiful.
Firm, lift and smooth in just two minutes a day.
Order today and get the bonus kit at no charge.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Know You're Unloved if...
- when you were born, your Father gave out old cigar butts
- as a baby, your Father threw you in the air and walked away
- you find out your Mother is nursing another baby on the side
- your tub toys included a toaster shaped like a rubber duck
- your folks threw a "going-into-
- you run away, and the family can't give the Police a description
- you were always stood-up at the Father-Son banquet at Church
- kidnappers send back your ear and your parents demand more proof
- you play "hide and seek" with Mom and she hides in another town
- your parents take you to an orphanage and tell you to mingle
- you had to share your sandbox with the cat
- you always got your allowance in Traveler's Checks
- you join the marching band in school and they give you a piano
- you take a girl to the Tunnel of Love and she makes you swim
- you were the only candidate for Class President and came in fifth
- the only thing your girl wants out of your relationship is her
- your kids file a paternity suit against you
- the surgeon operating on you says, "I'll take all calls."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Look Slimmer Instantly with Silkies Multi-Shaper Shortz!
Limited-Time Offer: Buy One Get One FREE!
Silkies Multi-Shaper Shortz--comfortable and lightweight shapewear
that instantly makes your
o Tummy look flatter
o Rear look firmer
o Thighs look slimmer
With Silkies Multi-Shaper Shortz, you'll look fantastic in your
short dresses and clingy skirts this summer! Smooth out your curves
with no panty lines--itll be our secret!
Receive a FREE pair of Silkies Multi-Shaper Shortz when you buy a
pair for just $4.99 plus 99 cents S&H and try our convenient,
auto-delivery Silkies Made-to-Order Hosiery Service.
Order now
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Happy Father's Day Dad
http://silverandgol
carolyn w/ She's Not You ~Elvis Presley
http://carolynsprec
AN OLD LADY'S POEM http://www.wtv-
Carol w/Music in My Soul http://www.carolspo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Roadside Emergency Kit
http://editorial.
Sleeping Disorders & Treatments Via Wesley
http://www.sleepedu
Food Products Review Site Via Wesley
http://www.zeer.
Pancho - Villa Via Wesley
http://www.mexconne
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Darik's Boot and Nuke
http://dban.
Troubleshooting Adobe Acrobat
http://kb.adobe.
PC Slashdot: News for nerds, stuff that matters http://slashdot.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or
crashing and freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to
major system problems and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few
minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention that your computer's registry does contain file "errors",
then it may be in your computer's best interest to fix the
potentially harmful file errors in your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.geocitie
Kitty Korner
http://www.pbase.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
you've downloaded any music, movie clips, or games in the past 2
months, then your computer may be infected with "Ad-Ware" and
"Spy-Ware"!
Advertisers use downloadable music as a vehicle to "legally" add
"Spy-Ware" and "Ad-Ware" to consumer PCs. If you're suspicious that
Internet Advertisers have added "Ad-Ware" or "Spy-Ware" to your
computer, then here's your chance to scan your computer at no
charge.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
FREE*- DATING SITE and DATING COMMUNITY!
Are you still SINGLE? Last week we sent you an email to notify you
about our new dating network that is -FREE- to join, and not only do
we have thousands of single women and men located right in your
city, but we have the EXACT SINGLE women and men that you would want
to meet and date this week!
PRESS HERE TO JOIN FOR NO COST (MUST BE 18 and OLDER):No Credit Card
Required:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Clips
Tricky Chick
http://www.buffalos
Vizella
http://www.buffalos
Water park
http://www.buffalos
Well Trained Dog
http://www.buffalos
We've Been Had
http://www.buffalos
Hand Boeienin Bed
http://www.buffalos
Hill Climb
http://www.buffalos
Honey
http://www.buffalos
How The Brits Taxi Jets
http://www.buffalos
Idiots
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following
sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see.
Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!"
~~~
Jeff was married and a philanderer. A friend finally
took him to task. "When you run around with other
women, doesn't your conscience bother you?"
"Yes, for a certain length of time...and then if I
don't hear from their lawyers, I feel better."
~~~~~
"David is the same as ever." gossiped his wife on the telephone.
"All he ever thinks about all day long is sex... sex... sex."
"Now that's just not true at all." called out David,
relaxing in his recliner. "For the past half-hour,
I've been laying here thinking about you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Healthy & Live Longer
Sign-up for FREE at QualityHealth!
Receive Healthy SAVINGS and Special OFFERS
from America's Most Trusted Brands
Make Your Health a Priority!
When you live a healthy lifestyle, you'll not only increase your
longevity, you'll also improve the quality of your life.
We can help you live healthier and save you money!
Sign-up Now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
batgirl
http://www.buffalos
bmw
http://www.buffalos
bmw incentive
http://www.buffalos
boat
http://www.buffalos
Bobbitt
http://www.buffalos
body language
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quick Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds
Dice, chop and mince in seconds with Quick Chop. The food gets finer
with every slap and you'll never have to switch the blade. Quick
Chop makes clean up a breeze - simply pop it open and rinse or throw
it in the dishwasher.
Order today and get the second one on us plus a Quick Grater.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife Myrtle's womb has a habit
Of expanding whenever I stab it.
What's more, my wife Myrtle
Is so wonderously fertile,
That she's giving me kids like a rabbit.
~~~
There was a young girl of East Anglia
Whose loins were a tangle of ganglia.
Her mind was a webbing
Of Freud and Kraft-Ebing
And all sorts of other mew-fanglia.
~~~~~~
There was a young man from Hong Kong
Who had a trifurcated prong:
A small one for sucking,
A large one for fucking,
And a honey for beating a gong.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bumpits - Get Full Volumized Hair
Go from flat to fabulous with Bumpits. These self gripping, leave-in
volumizing hair inserts give you instant volume. Feel beautiful and
confident like you just stepped out of a salon. Create dozens of
hairstyles from casual to elegant.
Say goodbye to boring hair and hello to fab hair.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a recent television show in the UK, actor and comedian John
Cleese explained three reasons why the British are superior to
Americans:
1. They speak English.
2. When they host a world championship they invite other countries.
3. Visitors to the head of state are only expected to go down on ONE
knee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The fast, simple and affordable way to clean your car
Wash Wizard power washer has hundreds of soft-touch, microfiber
cleaning pads that spin inside the powerwash head, gently cleaning
and polishing without scratching. The Wash Wizard is the
professional power wash wand that makes cleaning your car a breeze.
Order now to get a professional car wash without the hassle
Order now
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hal is petrified of girls, so he asks his friend Lenny how he meets
so many nice chicks.
Lenny says, "I have a surefire method to feel them out. I go up
behind a girl and whisper, 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' And
when she turns around and asks what I said, I say, 'Typical nasty
weather.' If she smiles or laughs, I know she has a sense of humor,
we chat, and it all happens naturally. Try it."
The next night, nervous but desperate, Hal goes to a very crowded
bar, and sits in the corner, stewing, nursing a drink, getting more
uptight every second. Finally, he walks up behind the nicest girl in
the place, and after a few minutes of stammering, blurts out so
everybody can hear, "Stick my finger in your ass?"
She turns around and says, "WHAT!?"
He says, "It's freaking pouring outside."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fantastic Fish Ponds
You'll Have The Fish Pond You've Always Dreamed of Or You Get to
Keep This Breakthrough Book For FREE!
Jam-packed With Proven Techniques That Will Teach You How to Have
the Ultimate Backyard Fish Pond and Make Sure Your Fish Are Healthy
and Happy - Guaranteed!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
No comments:
Post a Comment