THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone."
- Gertrude Stein
Congratulations! You have been chosen to receive
a FREE Apple Laptop or Dell Laptop
http://tinyurl.com/m5upb9
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
Today is another "air quality alert" day.
They used to call it a "ozone action" day
That's when the temp outside gets over 90 degrees. Round here,
old farts are advised to stay inside by the ac, specially
those with breathing problems. (Like I really need the government
to tell me that?)
it also means that the transit company offers free rides today
on the bus. The idea behind that is that it is an effort to
reduce damage to the ozone on a hot day. That is, lets help
reduce the amount of exhaust by reducing the amount of cars
on the hiway. So, the government pays the bus company a grant
to offer free rides on hot days. Oh, now that is really smart.
Yeah, I'm gonna park my air conditioned car today to get a
free ride on a hot smelly bus on one of the hottest days of the
year. Ya Right...another fine example of a waste of government
spending.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________
THE COMICS
be nice
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i030.html
thot for the day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i031.html
new hardware found
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i032.html
we just saw the movie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i033.html
a blonde
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i034.html
distractions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i035.html
silence
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i036.html
2 spirits
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i037.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
look what the cat dragged in
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5758.html
a good partner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5759.html
doing more
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5760.html
horny dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5761.html
heavy dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5762.html
fun behind the garbage pile
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5763.html
A forty-year-old hillbilly carried a younger hillbilly into
the doctor's office, deposited him on the examining table,
and said, "See if you can patch him up good. I shot up his
rear end like it was a tail on a possum. Don't hurt him none,
'cause he's my son-in-law."
The doctor said, "Why would you shoot your son-in-law?"
The hillbilly said, "He warn't my son-in-law when I shot him."
________________
The Lessons of Age
Now that I'm older....here's what I've discovered:
"I STARTED out with nothing....I still have most of it."
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's that sudden stop at the end.
_______________
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head.
He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum. The bartender
asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
_______________
A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant.
The doctor says, "I know that you are not married! Do you know
who the father of this baby is?"
The girl thought and then asked, "Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans,
would you know which bean made you FART?"
________________
"Motorcycle Wisdom"
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul
Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 60 mph
You start the game of life with a full pot of luck and an empty pot of experience. The object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck.
If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.
Midnight bugs taste just as bad as noon time bugs.
Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.
It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear view mirror.
Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
Sometimes it takes a whole tank of fuel before you can think straight.
Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.
Never do less than forty miles before breakfast.
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
One bike on the road is worth two in the garage.
The Crash
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jklwq.htm
The Duck And The Dog
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhasjhjkqw.htm
The Front Fell Off
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdhjkshks.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Redneck Automatic Lawn Mower
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001695.html
60 Caliber Nitro Express Pistol
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001696.html
____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Dentist Electric Chair
http://tinyurl.com/cglvmo
Fidel Escapes Cuba
http://tinyurl.com/mtbrhg
Dracula 3: The Path of the Dragon
http://tinyurl.com/dff2z6
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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