THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, did all you dads get the good stuff you
wanted for dad's day? Like that tie that you
needed, right? Actually my fam wised up, cuz
when they asked me what I wanted, I told them
motorcycle accesories and new leather stuff.
So, they all pitched in and collected a pool
of cash. That way I can go log on to jaminleather
and order the junk I want/need. Fathers day is
a pretty cool day tho. The war department always
fixes anything I want for lunch. For me I of
course asked for everthing that was not on the
dreaded "diet" heheh. And you know, she actually
fixed it with no lectures! Amazing. I was even
allowed to drink a bottle of Mountain Dew. It
was heaven I tell ya! Ya, Dad's day is good.
You do know the theory about dads day and moms
day, doncha?
Father's Day is to thank your dad for having sex with your Mom!
Mother's Day is to thank your Mom for not swallowing you!!!!!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
you're getting old when
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i010.html
big tippers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i011.html
moral compass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i012.html
human error
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i013.html
three wishes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i014.html
in this corner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i015.html
insanity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i016.html
big deal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i017.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Bill Haley and the comets 1956
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5746.html
classic snl skit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5747.html
President's note
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5748.html
Ashley jumping jacks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5749.html
why you need a label maker
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5750.html
boot scootin boogee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5751.html
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I
Almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I
Stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not
To see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50
In the poor box."
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over
To the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that.
You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according
To you, that's the same as putting it in!"
______________
A nervous young guy was walking up and down the waiting room at the
Maternity hospital, and he looked at a cool, and calm older man,
who was reading a magazine.
The younger man said, "I guess you have been here a few times."
"Yes," said the older man.
The young wanted to know, "How long after the baby is born,
can you have sex with the Mother?
The older guy equitably replied,"It depends on whether she's in a
open ward or a private room."
________________
Harry was stunned to come home from work one evening and find his
wife stuffing all her belongings into a suitcase. "What on earth
are you doing?" he cried.
"I can't stand it anymore!" she shrieked. "Thirty-two years we've
been married, and all we do is bicker and quarrel and ignore each other.
I'm leaving!"
Harry watched his wife close the suitcase, lug it down the stairs,
and proceed to walk out of the house...out of his life.
Suddenly, he was galvanized into action.
Running into the bedroom and grabbing a second suitcase, he yelled
back at his wife, "Sylvia, you're right, you're absolutely right,
and I can't bear it either. Wait a minute, and I'll go with you."
_______________
A mid-level Blonde executive was so frustrated at being passed over
for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a
brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q: 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by
the center's director that he was an accept- able candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this
procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's
brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's
brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is
forty- five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is
seventy- five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Demo- crat's brain?
Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we
would have to kill to get an ounce?"
___________
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of he
kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help,
and with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't
want to go on. Finally, by time the second boot was on, she had
worked up a sweat. So she almost cried when the little boy said,
"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier
pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. But she managed
to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on,
this time onto the right feet. He then announced,
"These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream,
"Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. So, once again,
she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his
little feet. They had no sooner gotten the boots off when he said,
"They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear `em."
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered
up what grace and courage she had left to, again, wrestle the
boots onto his little feet. When they had finally finished, and
she was helping him into his coat, she asked,
"Now, where are your mittens?"
He said, "I stuffed `em in the toes of my boots."
Her trial starts next month.
_____________
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road.
He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a
lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her
leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said,
"Father, remember psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced
himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to
remove his eyes from her leg.
Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her
leg again. The nun once again Said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful
glance, and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible
and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek,
further up, you will find glory."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you
might miss a great opportunity!
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Sniper Defense
http://tinyurl.com/cp5uyq
Heli Attack 3
http://tinyurl.com/bbjukt
My Goldfish's Got Diarrhea
http://tinyurl.com/kp4hae
__________
BUFFALO Bill
bowling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghjjjg.htm
boxer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdjdjjkd.htm
boxers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ndjdkx.htm
__________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Preventing Illegal Parking
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001691.html
True Love
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001692.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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