THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
No one is in charge of your happiness but you
When was Michael Jackson at his best?
Tell us. Then complete the program requirements for a FREE 7
album collection of MJ's solo career.
http://tinyurl.com/lz7u3v
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
The life of man is like a game with dice;
if you don't get the throw you want,
you must show your skill in making the
best of the throw you get.
Accused swindler Bernie Madoff was sentanced for
150 years for his ponsi scheme that bilked
billions from investors yesterday. Wonder how many millions
per year that works out to? Kindof ironic isn't
it? Madoff prosecuted by the United States
government, who is itself the conductor of the
largest ponsi scheme in history, known as
social security.
And did you even catch the news of the US troop
pullout from Iraqi cities? Barely made the
headlines. Shows that Americans are more concerned
about their billfolds rather than war, apparently.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________
marriage is like...
THE COMICS
Don't move
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j020.html
The Bobbit home
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j021.html
I'm so old
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j022.html
fuck you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j023.html
at the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j024.html
our sex life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j025.html
Jack and Jill
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j026.html
finish your beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j027.html
liberty and barbeque
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j028.html
_________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Billy Mays at McDonalds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5794.html
fainting goats
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5795.html
a DNA test
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5796.html
Chinese
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5797.html
watch the waiter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5798.html
it really sucks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5799.html
THINGS TO SAY IN THE LADIES DRESSING ROOM
# That's a bit expensive just for a dare isn't it?
# I saw a dress just like that one in WalMart yesterday.
# Hey, get out of here you filthy pervert!
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a man...
# I had a dress like that. My boyfriend made me throw it
away because he said it made me look like Roseanne Barr.
# Pardon me, but I think that will clash terribly with your pimples...
# Excuse me, but would you stop staring at me? Yes, YOU!!!
_________
With his pecker limp on the floor,
And his wife still imploring for more --
"Ten hours of screwing
Has been my undoing;
I simply can't Fuck any more!"
___________
This couple walks into a bar: The man goes of to the bog and l
eaves the women standing at the bar. A bloke goes up to the
women and says, "I really really want to squeeze your tits. Will you let me?"
The lady turns around and says, "How dare you, get away from me, you sicko!"
The bloke then says, "Oh you have a lovely arse can I rub it, please let me?"
The lady turns around and says, "Look you pervert get away from me!
I'll get my boyfriend to beat you up if you don't piss off!"
The bloke takes no notice and continues to the woman,
"I want to tip you upside down and fill you up with beer
and down it in one big gulp." "RIGHT... THAT IS IT" shouts the woman.
Just then her boyfriend comes out from the bog and says,
"Whaz goin' on here?!?" The woman says all hysterically,
"That bloke over there said he wants to squeeze my tits!"
Her boyfriend rolled up one of his sleeves and was just about
to smack him when the lady shouts "That's not all, he wants to rub my arse!"
So her boyfriend rolled up the other sleeve!
"And do you know what else he said? He wants to tip me upside
down and fill me up with beer and down it in one big gulp!
So are you going to beat him up then?" Her boyfriend rolls
down his sleeves and says "Of course not darling, I ain't messing
with a bloke that can drink that much beer!!!"
____________
One Sunday morning, a young woman, who needed forgiveness for her
sins, came to a Baptist church.
She got up in front of the congregation and stated, "Last week,
I slept with a young soldier who picked me up at a bar and now I
ask the Lord's forgiveness."
"Hallelujah!", cried the congregation.
She continued, "Two days ago, I slept with a young sailor,
but now I ask the Lord's forgiveness."
"Hallelujah!", cried the congregation again.
"But tonight, because I have come here and done my penance,
I will sleep with the Lord," she finished.
But before the congregation could respond, an old drunk in the
back yelled out in a clear voice, "That's right momma, fuck 'em all."
_______________
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady,
entered the doctor's office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take
your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here."
"Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue...."
______________
"I read recently that men who ogle women's breasts for ten
minutes a day live longer, healthier lives. Woo-hoo! I'm gonna
live forever!"
- Bill Hewins
________________
BUFFLAO BILL
Charming Black Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vm,v.htm
Cheaper Than Dating
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkk.htm
Chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khkjh.htm
__________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Seen My Drill
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001709.html
Cockpit View Of Shuttle Landing
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001710.html
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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