THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Most kids hear what you say;
some kids do what you say;
but all kids do what you do.
~Kathleen C. Theisen
________________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation,
but I think it is fun to decide what one would do.
The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge
flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies
compromised and structures destroyed.
Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for
a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly
poignant scenes.
You come across Nancy Pelosi who has been swept away by the
floodwaters. SHe is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about
to go under.
You can either put down your camera and save her, or take a
Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of her as she loses her grip on
the limb.
So, here's the question and think carefully before you answer the
question: Which lens would you use?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
happy birthday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f060.html
what Mohammad does for entertainment
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f061.html
kiss my ass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f062.html
big
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f063.html
not the heat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f064.html
thats cold
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f065.html
I need a sample
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f066.html
happy employees
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f067.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Porky the pig
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5664.html
baby boomers battle hymn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5665.html
Bill Engval-When did shrapnel become a fashion statement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5666.html
Sex with Bea
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5667.html
suicide
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5668.html
_____________________
The school bell rang just as little Stumpy started eating a
Popsicle, and since he didn't want to waste it, he stuck it
in his pants pocket.
In the classroom the teacher asked little Vicky what they
called people who lived at the North Pole.
She said, "Eskimos."
Then teacher asked little Teresa what they called people
who live in Mexico.
She said, "Mexicans."
The teacher asked Stumpy what they called people who
live in Europe, and Stumpy said, "I don't know."
Then super-smart little Mary behind Frankie said,
"European."
Little Stumpy's face turned red and he screamed, "I
AM NOT! My Popsicle is melting!"
______________
Three retired old gents, raconteurs all, were sitting around the National
Geographic's Explorer Club, sippin' on some 25 year old scotch and spinning
tall tales from their past, when the oldest asked,
"What was the most terrifying sound they ever heard ?"
The first old man said, "I was in Africa and got separated in the bush from my
guide and hunting party and suddenly heard a deafening noise, a herd of wild
elephants thundering right at me and I had no place to hide."
The second gent said, "I was an air force fighter pilot and was flying from
New York to London and was over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean when the
jet engine on my plane began making the most sickening sounds I had ever
heard anything mechanical make, like it was breaking apart and about to quit."
The third man, the one who had asked the question said,
"I have the worst one of all. I was having an affair with this married woman
that lived in Hollywood Hills and her husband surprised us, coming home
early from an out of town trip, and caught us, naked going at it in their
bedroom. I jumped up, ran to the window and tried to jump out."
The old man paused, was sipping a bit of scotch, when one the other two men
asked, "Well, so what was the terrifying sound?"
He replied, "Just a minute. This is a little hard for me to relive." After a
short pause, he took a deep breath and continued, "Well I was more than
half-way out the window but the woman's husband had grabbed me by the
testicles as I was falling ! So there I was, hanging by my balls, and the
worst sound I ever heard happened.
It was the clicking sound of a man trying to open a pocket knife with his teeth!"
________________
Two drunk men were sitting in the park. The first one says,
"Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it
with both hands."
"By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I
tried really hard."
"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no
problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it
in half with just one hand."
"So", says the second drunk, "What's your point?"
"Well", says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm
gonna get!"
_______________
A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized
halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation
was about to die.
They set up a makeshift camp, hoping someone would come to their
rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.
After several days in the desert heat, they realized that they
were not going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and
they discussed their predicament in great depth. Finally the
priest said to the nun,
"You know, Sister, I am about to die, and there's always been one
thing I've wanted here on earth -- to see a woman naked. Would
you mind taking off your clothes so I can look at you?"
The nun thought about his request for several seconds and then
agreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked,
"Well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a man
naked, either. Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?"
With little hesitation, the priest also stripped. Suddenly the
nun exclaimed, "Father! What is that little thing hanging between your legs?"
The priest patiently answered,
"That, my child, is a gift from God. If I put it in you, it
creates a new life."
"Really!," replied the nun, "Well forget about me. Stick it in
the camel!"
______________
A commercial property owner has three shops in a row, all for rent.
The first prospective lessee shows up, and says he wants to rent the
shop on the left. The owner says, "Fine, what kind of shop do you have?"
The guy says, "A menswear shop." The owner tells him he gets free signage,
and asks what he wants on the sign.
"Menswear," says the man.
A second guy comes along and wants to let the right hand shop.
When asked he says he wants "Menswear" on his sign. The owner tells
him that the left-hand shop will be the same.
"No problem," says the man.
Finally a third man comes along to rent the middle shop. The owner
is most concerned because this guy also has a menswear shop. Rather
wearily the owner asks him what he wants on his sign.
The guy replies: "Entrance."
_________________________________
BUFFALO Bill
6664
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfertt.htm
AA.WMVPV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfrrtrrr.htm
Achmed Jingle Bombs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdeeree.htm
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
The Treasures of Mystery Island
http://tinyurl.com/cgmnws
Thing Thing Arena 3
http://tinyurl.com/d6t7ly
D Day Normandy
http://tinyurl.com/ocz7al
THATS ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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