THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles.
~N.V. Peale
________________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Had a really bad night last night. Don't know why. Some days its
just very difficult to take a breath. I fell asleep for a couple hours,
around 10 pm, and then tossed and turned a while, managing mostly only to keep the
war department awake. Turned up the air on my breathing machine from 2
liters to 4 liters, which did seem to settle things down a little.
Not wanting to bother the war department as she had to go to work this morning,
I came down stairs. Curled up in the chair with a blanket, and eventually,
I did fall back to sleep as the extra "air" managed to let me breath a little
easier. Sortof strange isn't it?
I bet you never thought about the air you breath.
Maybe you should.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
oh boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f040.html
my boss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f041.html
snacking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f042.html
Doug Wilson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f043.html
express lane
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f044.html
on Star trek
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f045.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
excersize the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5650.html
really small
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5651.html
extreme soccer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5653.html
one hell of a back flip
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5654.html
rm# 808
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5655.html
its not working
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5656.html
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POWER POINT DISPLAYS
our world of colors
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2385.html
dreams
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2386.html
know how to react
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2387.html
rebirth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2388.html
From the folks who make the Invisible Fence for cats and dogs,
now comes the Invisible Fence Bra for your teenage daughter!
Using advanced electromagnetic technology, the Invisible Fence Bra
creates a safety zone around Daddy's Little Angel.
If a horny young bastard has decided to skip the Church social and
head right to the Devil's Playground, your daughter will be safe and
secure with this bra. Attempting to remove it without keying in the
secret combination results in a "slight correction" to the horny young bastard.
Voltage levels are set in ten ascending doses including: "Don't Go There,
Boyfriend", "Freddy'll Lose His Fingers", "Rushin' Hands, Electrocuted Fingers",
"Char Your Fingers To The Bone", and, the ultimate level, "Any Last Words
Before We Throw The Switch?" Ladies, do *you* have a boss that likes to
reach over your shoulder for a pencil on your desk?
The Invisible Fence Bra has an accessory which clips underneath yourchair.
When the boss's hand dips into the the "No Fly Zone", the magnetic field
of the bra triggers the mechanical arm of the accessory we like to call:
"Balls Through The Wall." Your boss can then apply for a role on "The Sopranos."
Don't delay! Operators are standing by now.
___________
Does Your Campground Have a BC?
The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned,
always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language.
She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida,
so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation.
She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn't
quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't
bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much
deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term
BATHROOM COMMODE. But when she wrote that down, she still thought
she was being too forward. So she started all over again and
rewrote the entire letter referring to the bathroom commode merely as the BC.
"Does the campground have it's own BC?" is what she actually wrote.
Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all, and when he
got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was
talking about. That BC business really stumped him.
After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter to several
campers, but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant either.
So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the
lady must be asking about he local Baptist Church, sat down and
wrote the following reply:
Dear Madam:
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I
now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles
north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at
one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the
habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know
that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a
day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. It is such a beautiful
facility and the acoustics are marvelous.
Even the normal delivery sounds can be heard.
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so
crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may
interest you to know that right now a supper is
planned to raise money to buy more seats.
I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more
regularly, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we
grow old, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.
If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could
go with you the first time you go, sit with you,
and introduce you to all the other folks.
Remember, this is a friendly community.
Sincerely,
Campground Owner
________________
Two businessmen were out at their private golf club enjoying a beautiful
afternoon with a round of golf. Since it was just the two of them, they were
moving around the course in short time until they came upon a twosome of
ladies on the twelfth hole. The two men watched as the ladies hit their shots,
carried on animated conversations and taking their own sweet time to finish
play totally ignoring the twosome behind them.
The more they watched, the more frustrated and angry the two men became as
their round was slowed to a snail's pace. Finally one of the men said,
"I'm going to drive up to those ladies, give them a piece of my mind and
tell them they better let us play through or else!"
As his companion watched, the first man drove up the cart path got about
half the way to the ladies, abrubptly turned around and returned to the tee.
The second golfer asked, "What did they say?" The first said, "I couldn't
say anything. As I got closer I realized that one of the ladies is my wife
and the other is my mistress." "That's OK, I'll go talk to them," replied
the second man as he jumped into the cart and headed toward the women.
Suddenly he too made a U-turn and headed back to his playing partner.
As he approached the tee he said, "Small world, isn't it!"
______________
5,000 men were asked to complete a survey on what they liked best about 'Oral Sex':
a.. 3% liked the warmth.
b.. 4% enjoyed the sensation.
c.. 93% appreciated the silence.
_____________
Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes, but upon arrival at the
correctional facility, he told the warden he wasn't at all worried
about his future. He knew he wouldn't have to serve the full term of his penalty.
"Why's that, Jimmy?" the warden asked "Sure of your appeal, are you?"
"No, sir." Jimmy replied.
"Already making plans to escape, then?"
"Not a one, Warden."
"Then why are you so sure you'll be out of here before your time is up?"
"Well, Warden," says Jimmy, "it's like this. In the entire time I've been
married, my wife has yet to let me finish a sentence!"
BUFFALO Bill
Mouse in Her Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acdhhdd.htm
Movie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abghyy.htm
Movie 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acccd.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Harry Potter - Adventures Lesbos
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001657.html
Eyeglass Commercial
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001658.html
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FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Unwell Mel
http://tinyurl.com/obqrtn
Darkness Reborn RPG
http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n
Cowboy School
http://tinyurl.com/c7l3ph
______________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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