THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Sun shines bright here in West Michigan today.
That is a good thing. This is the Festival of the arts
weekend for our fair city. Good food, good music, and yadda yadda.
It has always been something she and I have looked forward to.
I suppose, this year, it will be a bit of a challenge. I
cannot walk a great distance, so we will have to make some
adjustments on how we take in the day. There are usually
several stages around down town, where the musicians perform.
So it does take a bit of walking. Filled in between the stages
are rows and rows of vendors selling jumbolaya, bbq,
baklava, and many other good tasty yummy things. These do nothing
for my dreaded "diet" but it is one day when the war department
allows me to "Bend the rules" a little bit.
Looking forward to it
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
get into shape
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f050.html
protestors
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f051.html
gay marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f052.html
Moses and the red sea
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f053.html
the sperm bank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f054.html
the chase scenes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f055.html
cheating
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f056.html
nice try pal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f057.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
insurance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5657.html
piano tuner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5659.html
ripppppppppp!!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5660.html
its all right
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5661.html
funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5663.html
Three members of a golf club were arguing loudly while
the fourth member of their group lay dead in a bunker.
A club official was called to calm the situation, "What's
the trouble here?" he asked. "My partner has had a stroke,
and these two assholes want to add it to my score."
_____________
FOR SALE:
One Used Wife, 1989 Model
Needs muffler, as it is currently VERY LOUD.
Intake valve is stuck in the open position.
Rear end needs major overhaul.
A crack there has grown monstrously large.
Needs re-wiring: many wires are currently crossed.
Lots of little dings in the body, which have been covered
up with too much paint in a failed effort at camouflaging them.
Needs re-upholstering: carpet has turned a dingy gray.
Needs front-end work: headlights are too close to the
ground and fenders are too far apart.
May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces clouds
of foul, malodorous gases on a regular basis.
Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply.
Asking $500 or trade for 2005 model.
______________
The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a
telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot,
and in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir,"
he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
_______________
Job of a lifetime
TRUE STORY:
Outside Bristol Zoo there is a car park for 150 cars and 8 coaches.
There also used to be a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine
charging cars £1 and coaches £5.
This parking attendant worked there for all of 25 years , then one day
just didn't turn up for work...
"Ho hum", said Bristol Zoo Management - "better phone up the City Council
and get them to send a new parking attendant" ......
"Err no", said the Council, "that car park is your responsibility" ...
"Err no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the
City Council, wasn't he?" .....
"Err NO!"
Sitting in his villa in Spain is a bloke who had been taking daily the
car park fees amounting to an estimated £400 per day at Bristol
Zoo for the last 25 years...
________________
Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises
on his shins, so he asked,
"Do you play hockey?"
"No"
"Do you play soccer?"
"No"
"Do you play any other physical sport?"
"Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife."
___________
BUFFALO BILL
arts
http://www.buffaloschips.com/arrra.htm
art oral
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhfkjsjksk.htm
as big as
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsfjksdk.htm
__________
FUN PAGES FROM LORRAINE
Plan It Green
http://tinyurl.com/pkwh95
Operation Darkness Strike
http://tinyurl.com/qjolnr
Wonderburg
http://tinyurl.com/pq4j2x
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Funky Monkey
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001660.html
Harry Potter - Crystal Ball
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001659.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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