Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
To all of you born during the month of June a Happy Birthday and
let's take a look at who you share your day with.
1. Marilyn Monroe, Paul Coffey, Alanis Morissette, Ronnie Wood
2. Johnny Weissmuller, Marvin Hamlisch, Charlie Watts
3. Tony Curtis, Josephine Baker
4. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Noah Wylie
5. Marky Mark, Bill Moyers
6. Bjorn Borg, Gary US Bonds
7. Prince, Liam Neeson, Randy Penner
8. Barbara Bush, Joan Rivers
9. Michael J. Fox, Jackie Mason, Dick Vitale
10. Elizabeth Hurley, F. Lee Bailey, Tara Lipinski
11. Joe Montana, Gene Wilder, Tom King
12. George Bush, Anne Frank
13. Tim Allen, Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen
14. Boy George, Kathleen Timko, Bob Casper
15. Courteney Cox, Helen Hunt, Wade Boggs
16. Roberto Duran, Stan Laurel, Gaylan Berry
17. Barry Manilow, Dean Martin, Newt Gingrich
18. Paul McCartney, Isabella Rosellini
19. Paula Abdul, Junebug, Joanne DeLisle, Ferne Kilgore
20. Danny Aiello, Cyndi Lauper, John Goodman, Sammy Rossow
21. Nicole Kidman, Jean-Paul Sarte, Keith Hayman
22. Bill Blass, Meryl Streep
23. Bob Fosse, Bert Convy
24. Jeff Beck, Jack Dempsey, Chris Gilmour
25. Carly Simon, George Orwell
26. Derek Jeter, Greg LeMond, David Jackson
27. Bob Keeshan, Ross Perot
28. John Elway, Mel Brooks
29. Gary Busey, Fred Grandy
30. Mike Tyson, Lena Horne
For those of you that either like bats or spelunking there is some
bad news. Bats all across the South have been infected with a white
nose fungus causing them to shut down caves from Missouri to
Virginia. In some cases the entire population has been wiped out and
this will cause an increase of bugs and the diseases they carry this
summer. This fungus is being blamed on global warming but any bats
with white noses up here are suffering from frostbite and haven't
thawed out yet.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Band Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A band at an Italian wedding decided to take requests. Nunzio walks
up and asks "Uh, do youse guys know da song "Strangers in da Night"?
The band leader says, "Sure we know that one."
Nunzio says "Hey! dat's great! But I got just one favor- could
youse play it in 5/4 time?"
"Isn't it played in 4/4 time?" the band leader asked.
"Yeah, but dis here's a special occasion, know whut I mean?"
The band discusses amongst themselves, till the leader turns and
says "I don't think we'll have any problems."
Nunzio turns and yells out "Hey Uncle Vinnie! C'mon up here and
sing!"
Uncle Vinnie walks up to the mike as the band begins the intro, and
then starts to sing, "Strangers in da fuckin' night..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
get out of debt
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the later years
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Thing's secret
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Big Resolution
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Bigfoot
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Bike For Her
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This is gonna HURT!
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Fast Flintstones
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Motel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A salesman is visiting Hollywood California and checks
into a local motel. As he was checking out the next morning, the
desk clerk noticed that he looked a bit frazzled. He asked "Sir was
everything O.K. with your room?"
He angrily replies "Was everything O.K.!!! l get woke up at 2:00 in
the morning with this huge cowboy sitting on my chest holding a
pistol to my head who tells me if l don't suck his dick he's gonna
blow my fucking head off!" The desk clerk is shocked and asks,
"What did you do?"
The salesman's reply, "Did you hear any shootin'?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Party Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his
usual route.
As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars are in
the driveway, his wonder is cut short by Bob the homeowner coming
out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had a hell of a party last night." The
Mailman comments.
Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night,
this is the first I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning.
We had a about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for
the Christmas Cheer and got a bit wild. Hell, we even got so drunk
that around midnight we started playing 'WHO AM I'."
The Mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"
Bob continues between hung over gasps, "Well all the guys go in the
bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and
only our "units" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women
try to guess who it is."
The Mailman laughs and says," Damn! I am sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds," Your name was
guessed four or five times."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It seems a new girl moved into town and attended the local high
school. It did not take long for the rumors to fly that she was
easy...
The most interesting rumor abounding was that she was, indeed a man,
with all equipment intact and working. None of the school jocks had
had the pleasure of her company yet and were, needless to say,
curious. They all drew straws to see who would ask her out and
uncover the truth. Poor Harry was the chosen victim. The new girl
accepted his invitation for a movie and whatever.
After viewing the movie Harry took his date to a secluded parking
spot and began the business he was designated for. After some heavy
kissing and dry humping, the young lady excused herself, as she
said, to go to the bathroom. Harry thought, "AHA, now we find out."
Harry very slowly opened the car door to take a peek. As the young
lady squatted in the darkness, Harry could see, by the light of the
moon, a long dark shadow dangling between her legs. Harry reached
out and grabbed the appendage, and yelled,
"I've got you now!"
The young lady, startled, replied,
"Oooh! I didn't know you were back there looking!"
Harry, wiping his hand, said,
"I Didn't know you were taking a shit either."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Greeting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK
------------
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got real snippy.
2. I heard you had herpes...and I feel terrible...I'
soon"...but I know it's incurable.
3. My tire was thumping....
the tire....I found your cat... Sorry!
4. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends.... here's a
bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.
5. You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh, when
they find out you're one... of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
6. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... look at
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7. Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be...Don't fret
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Next time, work harder... and stay away from the boss's wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bull Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to
bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a
discussion among them. The first bull says, "Boys, we all know I've
been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on
which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this
newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't' givin' him any of
mine."
The second bull says, "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've
been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've
agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but
I'M KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS."
The third bull says, "I've only been here a year, and so far you
guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be
as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply
MUST keep all MY cows."
They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls
up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the
biggest Son-of-Another-
pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp
to the breaking point.
The first bull says, "Ahem...You know, it's actually been some time
since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think
I can spare a few for our new friend."
The second bull says, "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I
just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly
not looking for an argument."
They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him
pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm.
The first bull says, "Son, let me give you some advice real quick.
Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
The third bull says, "Heck, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making
sure he knows I'M a bull!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Symbol of Friendship
http://silverandgol
Carol w/Because of You
http://www.carolspo
Across The Miles
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A Woman's Dream
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Surfin Surfari
Day Light Map
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Bread Machines
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Art Or Illusion
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Magic Eye
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Jump The Shark
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Gizmodo, The Gadget blog
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Disposable Inbox Via Wesley
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Free Social Media Graphics & Buttons
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Movie Clips
Midgey
http://www.buffalos
Momma Is Santa
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Morning Peepers
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Moshonov
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Mother's Day
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Moulin Huge
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Love 2008
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Love Boat
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Lucha
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Luckiest Man On The Planet
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Lucky 1
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Psych Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you must help me.
Every night I dream that I'm driving a truck from Pittsburgh to New
York. I'm so tired I can hardly get up in the morning."
The doctor says, "Tell you what. Next time you have this dream, just
call me and I'll come over and drive the truck for you."
The man tries it, and is cured.
Another patient tells the doctor, "I have this same dream every
night. I'm making love to four beautiful women, and by morning I'm
totally exhausted. Can you help me?"
The doctor says, "Tell you what, next time you have this dream, just
call me and I'll come and take a couple of them off your hands."
Two weeks later the man with the over sex problem goes back to the
psychiatrist and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Now these women are
bringing their friends, and they're all getting so demanding. I'm so
tired I can barely get through the day. Can't you do something?"
"You should have called me." the doctor replied. "I told you I'd
take a couple of them off your hands."
"But Doc," he said, "I've been calling you every night, and your
service keeps telling me you're out driving a truck from Pittsburgh
to New York."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aol Toilet
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apple
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apples
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appointment
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arab blowup doll
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arab get oil
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a villian most feared,
Who tied a lass to a train track then leered,
But he tied her up wrong-ways,
Not cross-ways but long-ways,
And a forty car train disappeared!
There once was a girl from Vancouver
Whose mouth had the strength of a Hoover;
When she turned it on high,
A week would pass by,
Before anyone could remove her.
There once was a lady named McBagg
And to all the ladies she did brag
"My breasts are sizeable,
And easily recognizeable
I rarely have to wear a name tag."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny goes to school. His first class is
English, and the teacher wants the kids to say
what they ate for breakfast and spell it. The
first girl says "toast" -- t o a s t.
The second boy says "eggs" -- e g g s.
Little Johnny says "fuckin nothing --
f u c k i n g n o t h i n g."
The teacher stands him in the corner till lunch.
After lunch Little Johnny is allowed to take his
seat.
The first class after lunch is geography.
The teacher wants to know where the Polish border
lies. Little Johnny shoots up his hand and says,
"He's at home on top of my mom. That's why I got
fucking nothing for breakfast!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The worlds shortest fairy tale...
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and
went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer
and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet
seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The End
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1611
The Green Isle
Tami: Rudy, ask Sandi what part of Ireland is she going to land at?
Rudy: Oh I already know that. It is going to be the very first
part we hit. Heh heh, excuse the word hit. We only have a six mile
error of margin, so we cannot go far. We may have to walk a while
before we can find a road.
Tami: Oh, this is just great.
Katie: Would you care for a meal ma'am.
Tami: What are my choices?
Katie: We have an Alpo burger, with dog biscuits or nothing.
Tami: I saw my husband eating a steak a moment ago.
Katie: Alas, that was the last one we had.
Rob: Oh, honey I did not realize it was the only steak. It was
very good. Cooked to perfection my compliments to the chef
Katherine. I especially liked the roses on the table.
Tami: Grrrr!
Rudy: I have been informed the coast is not too far away. Sandi
would like all of us to assume the position.
Tami: Which postion?
Rudy: The praying postion. The low fuel lights are on. The
engines
could quit at any moment.
Tami: Gasp!
Rob: There is nothing to worry about Tami, what could go wrong?
Katie: Hmm, I think engine number two is shutting down.
Rudy: I see the coast. I wonder if Sandi had it figured out right.
Rob: The strain on engine number one will be excessive and will eat
up a lot of fuel. This could be close.
Tami: Mama!
Katie: I see a smooth field.
Rudy: Oh boy, engine number one is starting to sputter...
Katie: I think we are gliding.
Rob: Isn't this exciting?
Thud!
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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