THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
There will always be two kinds of people:
Those who always say what they think and those who have a lot of friends
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The greatness comes not when
things go always good for you.
But the greatness comes when you're
really tested, when you take some
knocks, some disappointments, when
sadness comes. Because only if you've
been in the deepest valley can you
ever know how magnificent
it is to be on the highest mountain.
Richard M. Nixon (1913 - 1994)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Another prison here in West Michigan will be closing.
Located in Muskegon county, it is one of 8 State run
Michigan prisons that Governor Granholm has slated for
closure due to budget cuts. Already sporting one of the
highest rates of unemployment in the state, the prison
closure will eliminate some 300 jobs in an already
economically depressed county. It has caused concern
for many. Not only on the effect it will have on the loss
of jobs in this area, but also it is cause for concern over
the number of prisoners that will be released early, some
estimate as many as 3000 will be released statewide once
all the 8 prisons close. There is that thought that the
closures will have an adverse affect on crime, Statistics
show a rise in theft related crime already because of
the economy. Apparently Governor Granholm does not think
this is going to matter. She must think that since Michiganders
are not working, they don't have any money left to steal,
so it really won't matter, and we may as well let the thieves
murderers and rapists loose in order to balance the budget.
Great idea.
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
my wife here thinks...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g001.html
car is acting up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g002.html
holy crap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g003.html
Constipation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g004.html
Hello Mr. Barnes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g005.html
relax
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g006.html
my fingers are killing me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g007.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
only want sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5671.html
the air we breath
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5672.html
Jimmy Kimmel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5673.html
idiot with a kite
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5674.html
David Carridine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5675.html
muppet bloopers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5676.html
A blond guy had a major argument with his girlfriend. After
storming away, and then cooling off, he had time to think. He was
clearly in the wrong and felt pretty guilty about all the trauma
he had caused. So to make it up to his girlfriend, he decided to
buy her a gift.
"Anything at all, my love," he said, overcome with remorse.
"Oh, I don't know," replied his sweetheart, excited at the idea
of a gift but still wanting to get back at him "You really
shouldn't do this you know. But, if you insist, just get me
something very expensive, that I don't really need."
The following day he booked her in for chemotherapy.
______________
An Aussie goes into a gentleman's club and steps up to the bar.
The bartender asks, "What will it be, sir?"
The Aussie say, "I'll have a scotch and soda," and indicating a
lady at the other end of the bar, he continues,
"And buy that old douchbag a drink."
The bartender says, "Sir, this is a gentleman's club and our
lady patrons are only referred to in gentlemanly terms.
Now what will you have?"
The Aussie repeats, "I'll have a scotch and soda and I'll
buy that old douchebag a drink."
The bartender, quite pissed off, says, "Sir, this is a
gentleman's club and our lady patrons are only referred in
complimentary terms. Now, what will you have?"
The Aussie says, "I'll have a scotch and water and
buy that old douchebag a drink."
The exasperated bartender turns to the lady and says,
"This gentleman would like to buy you a drink. What'll you have."
The blonde lady say, perkily, "Oh, how about a vinegar and water."
_____________
A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman
pulled her over for speeding.
As he was giving her the ticket, she said, "How come I always get a
ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?"
"No, ma'am," explained the officer, "it's your foot."
_____________
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for
being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with
a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded
United flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line
of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his
way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on
the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and
it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you,
but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to
work something out." The passenger was unimpressed.
He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear,
"Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public
address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her
voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger
here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him
find his identity,
please come to Gate 17."
________________
The new bride went crying to her mother. "Momma, I can't get my
husband to do anything. I want him to fix up the house, but he keeps
putting it off."
"Honey," her mother replied, "after being married to your father for
thirty-eight years, I've found the only way to get him to do anything
is to tell him he's too old."
____________
The wondrously stacked blonde appeared at her
door in a strapless evening gown that defied
gravity."Terrific!" said her admiring escort.
"I don't see what holds that dress up!"
"Play your cards right, dear, and you will," she murmured.
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Moose family
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gmksla.htm
More Fishing With Bill Dance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gahsjsk.htm
Mortar Fire
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gnjakaka.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Girl Firing Hand Gun
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001662.html
Have You Tried This Approach
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001661.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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