THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not
know because they have never deceived us. - Samuel Johnson
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_____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Temps are heating up today here in beautiful West Michigan. The
weather man says that it will reach at least 90 and perhaps as high
as 100 degrees today. Its one of those sit in your skivvies in
front of the air conditioner in the living room kinda days. In
my younger days, I spent a couple years working in a auto parts
factory, like most people have done here in West Michigan, at one
time or another in their lives. It was third shift and I operated
a paint robot in the paint room, spraying on undercoat. When it got
warm like this in the summer, even on third shift when it was
sposta be cooler, temps in that place could peak 120, easily.
I could probably start a law suit against them, saying that it
was the asbestos that caused my emphasyma, rather than my smoking.
Might even win, too. But it would do no good, that place ain't
around no more. If you are a laid off factory rat,
here in the workers paradise of the big three, count your
blessings, its a good day to stay home.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
a ticket
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i020.html
blessed are women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i021.html
ride it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i022.html
close the drapes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i023.html
I told you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i024.html
something between us
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i025.html
is it just me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i026.html
just like last year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i027.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
sound effects
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5752.html
Sweden's got talent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5753.html
the drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5754.html
the good the bad and the ugly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5755.html
the vantriloquist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5756.html
good football
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5757.html
A young lady is on a cliff edge about to jump to her death when a
young man who asks if she's going to kill herself approaches her. To
her reply of yes, he asks if she can give him a blowjob before she
does it. "Sure, life sucks, I may as well." When she's done he tells
her it was great, and asks why she's going to kill herself.
She replies, "My parents disowned me for dressing like a woman!"
______________
One day Johnny asked his mom if she would kiss his cut and make it
all better and the mother did and it worked. Later, when Johnny fell
on his face and scraped his nose, his mommy kissed it. Johnny felt
better and ran off with his toys. Then he fell on his butt and ran to
his mom crying. The mother kissed his butt and the boy ran off with
his stuffed animal.
Later he came back and told his mom that his "peanuts" had been
bitten and she has to suck the poison out.
She pulls down the little boys pants and sucks and sucks. Just then,
the little boy says "no mom "peanuts" is my stuffed animal"
_______________
Little Johnny went to his first school dance. He didn't know if he
would ever get up the nerve to ask a girl out to dance.
As the night went on everybody was dancing except Little Johnny. He
just sat in the corner looking at everyone having fun.
Finally as the last song started to play Little Johnny spotted two
very cute girls across the room sitting at their table. He walked
over and asked one if she would like to dance. She looked him up
anddown and said "I am sorry but I am very particular with whom I
dance with."
Little Johnny being the smart boy that he is, replied, "You can dam
will see that I am not."
___________
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench complaining about their husbands.
"My husband's losing his mind," one lady said. "Last week he went
out and spent $400 for a waterbed."
"That sounds exciting," the other lady said.
"Exciting, hell," the first old lady said. "The way my husband's
thing has been reacting the last few years, that waterbed might
as well be the Dead Sea."
________________
Stanley and Livingstone, on a trek through the deepest jungle are
awakened one night by the distant, maniacal pulsing of tribal
drums. Unable to return to sleep, they leave their tent and
make themselves a cup of tea at the campfire. The drums continue
for hours, finally stopping at dawn.
At noon that day, while taking a break from hacking a path through
the thick vegetation, the two British explorers finally get to
ask one of the bearers about the drums. The man becomes
extremely agitated. When pressed on the subject, he says only
one thing: "Oh no, no. Drums no problem. Much worse when
drums stop for two days." That night the two explorers are woken
again by the drums, and the night after that as well, but no
matter how hard they push for an explanation all they hear,
again and again, is the same useless reply: "Oh no, no.
Much worse when drums stop for two days."
Finally, exhausted from lack of sleep, unable to go further,
they give up and turn the expedition around, returning to
their base at the nearest trading outpost. All the way back
the bearers seem much relieved.
Immediately on arrival, the explorers seek out the chief from
whom they'd hired the bearers and demand an explanation.
"Oh no, no," the old man says, "Drums no problem. Much worse when..."
"...Yes, yes old bean, when the drums stop for two days, we've
got that part," snarls Stanley.
Livingstone then loses it completely and screams, "But why is
it bally worse when the drums stop for two days?"
The chief raises his hand for silence, pauses and says, in the
gravest voice he can muster;
"That's when bass solo starts."
___________
BUFFALO Bill
brain swap
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mfmsdkfkds.htm
brains
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfxkdvgldx.htm
brain scan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kdfjdfjgd.htm
________________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Spa Mania
http://tinyurl.com/qrulsx
Wild Tribe
http://tinyurl.com/p9pcsd
John and Mary's Memories
http://tinyurl.com/myo4r4
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Promised 72 Virgins
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001693.html
3 Commercials
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001694.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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