THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
All that is valuable in human
society depends upon the opportunity
for development accorded the individual.
~Albert Einstein
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It is supposed to reach 80 degrees tomorrow,
here in beautiful West Michigan. Wow, that is a
heat wave for us. There is only one day this summer
so far that temps have gotten above the seventies.
We are doing better, however, than the upper penninsula
of Michigan. My friend Bill (who lives up by the locks)
reported frost only a couple
3 weeks ago, seems like. Not being rich enough to
afford central air conditioning, here, we survive the brief
heat of summer with just a couple of window air
conditioners. And so far, there has been no need or
reason to put them in. I do not mind 80, we can
survive with fans. At 90 degrees, then it gets a
little warm. But the last couple years, we have only
had just a week or so of it...not hardly enough to
even bother putting them in. It
Would be nice if we got lucky again this
year. We have 10 foot ceilings in this old dump,
and I could not afford to run central air,
even if I could afford to install it.
I suppose this global warming thing may be true
somewhere on this planet, but obviously Al Gore has
not visited Michigan recently in the summer:)
(I hope he stays away, we don't want to be jynxed on
our good luck.)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
THE COMICS
upside down cake
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h001.html
I've had it, doc
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h002.html
Confucious say
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h003.html
embarrasing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h004.html
broke down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h006.html
how to save your job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h007.html
best time to to the dishes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h008.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
coffee cup drummer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5704.html
VW company
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5705.html
hows my driving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5706.html
blondes catch on quick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5707.html
Golf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5708.html
the ostriche
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5709.html
WHY GOLF IS BETTER THAN SEX
1. A below par performance is considered good.
2. You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and beer.
3. It is much easier to find the sweet spot.
4. Foursomes are encouraged.
5. You can still make money doing it as a senior.
6. Three times a day is possible.
7. Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you do it with someone else.
8. You can do it every day.
9. You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you are finished
10. BEST OF ALL...If your equipment gets old and rusty you can replace it.
_________________
A lady was in the stirrups at her gynecologist's office having
her annual checkup, when she heard the doctor talking to himself
as he examined her:
"My, what a big vagina! My, what a big vagina!"
The lady was, to put it mildly, a bit annoyed. Being the
assertive type she spoke up immediately:
"Doctor, I can't believe what I'm hearing! I think it's
incredibly unprofessional of you to say something like that. To
say such a thing once was bad enough, but twice is outrageous!"
"I'm very sorry," replied the doctor, "please forgive me. But
just to set the record straight, I only said it once."
_________________
A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour
and somehow manages to get a taxi immediately. He gets into the taxi,
and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Sheldon."
"Who?"
"Sheldon Cohen. There's a guy who did everything right.
Like my cab being vacant during a rainstorm. It would have
happened like that for Sheldon every single time."
"Well, no one is perfect. There are always a few clouds over everybody",
stated the passenger.
"Not Sheldon," said the cabbie. "He was a terrific athlete.
He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf
with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like
a Broadway star. Handsome and sophisticated, more than Cary
Grant. He had a better body than Arnold in his prime. He was something!
"Somehow Sheldon just knew exactly how to make women happy,"
the cabbie continued. "He had a memory like a computer.
Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine,
which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me.
I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."
"Wow, incredible , no wonder you remember him!" said the passenger.
"Well, I never actually met Sheldon," admitted the cabbie.
"Then how do you know so much about him?" asked the passenger.
"After he died, I married his wife."
_______________
Economy Explained
It is June, 2009 in a little town in Northern California.
It is raining, and the tiny town looks totally deserted.
It is tough times, everybody is in debt and everybody
lives on credit.
Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.
He enters the only hotel, lays a $100.00 bill on the
reception counter and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs
in order to pick one.
The hotel proprietor takes the $100.00 bill and runs to
pay his debt to the butcher.
The Butcher takes the $100.00 bill, and runs to pay his
debt to the pig grower.
The pig grower takes the $100.00 bill, and runs to pay
his debt to the supplier of his feed.
The supplier of feed store takes the $100.00 bill and
runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute. (Who,
in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit).
The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt
with the $100.00 bill to the hotel proprietor for the
rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.
The hotel proprietor then lays the $100.00 bill back on
the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect
anything.
The rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms,
and takes his $100.00 bill, saying that he did not like
any of the rooms, and leaves town.
No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now
without debt, and looks to the future with great optimism.
______________
Sam was furious when he found out the checking account was empty.
When he confronted Anni, she simply said, "It's my turn."
"What do you mean, your turn?" yelled Sam.
"In bed," Anni explained, "you've been making early withdrawals
for years. Now, it's my turn."
_______________
A man came into a gun shop and asked to see a shotgun.
The clerk, seeing that the customer was obviously very wealthy
showed him a Belgian handcrafted mother of pearl inlay weapon
and demonstrated its fine points. A bargain at $20,000.
The customer says, "No, not quite what I need."
Then the clerk brings out an English model and shows off its
fine points. A steal at only $7,500.
The customer says, "No, I don't need anything that fancy."
The clerk, disappointed, shows the customer a Winchester
'over and under' mass production model. Only $129.95.
The customer says, "That will do nicely. After all, it is an informal wedding."
_____________
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They
happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,
son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of
that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks,
"Why are there three in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday,
one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "Two for Friday, two for
Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January,
one for February, one for March."
_______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Mystery Case Files: Madame Fate
http://tinyurl.com/qmkk3t
Chaos of Mana
http://tinyurl.com/bfsxk8
Shoot Out
http://tinyurl.com/lydu4d
______________
BUFFALO BILL
The Chronicles Of The Oba Messiah
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acccdd.htm
Then God Made Woman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axxss.htm
The Potato Heads
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axxsszz.htm
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Mans Brain
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001679.html
Newest Cellphone Technology
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001680.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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