Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Went to the store yesterday for a few items and got drawn into
an extended shopping trip. When I came out of the store the
lights were on in the Jimmy and getting dim. After giving it a
few minutes to recharge it still didn't want to start so I headed
back into the store to call Buffy and have her bring the Explorer
over to get it started. I got out of the Jimmy and someone asked
if I needed a jump. People are always willing to help up here
but as it was raining and chilly I gave him a ten for helping out.
He said he normally would have refused it but he was low on gas.
Things have a way of working out.
BTW high point of the trip was a bag of sweet black cherries. A
little pricy still at 5.00 a pound but they aren't around very long.
Eva is visiting for a day or two with her mom, so it is nice to have
the family back together.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was talking to my dad yesterday. he's getting a little older and
complaining about joint pain. I said. "Is it your hip?" He said
no, "I burned my lip smoking pot."
Q: Why do women have two sets of lips?
A: One set to bitch at you with, and the other to apologize with.
Alternate answer: So they can piss and moan at the same time.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic
delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just
be blunt - prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a
violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, the lady
being given the reading stared at the mystic's lined face, then at
the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a
few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She
met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:
"Will I be acquitted?"
When we moved into our new home, the first one we owned rather than
rented, two of my husband's friends gave him a bottle of champagne.
In the hustle and bustle of getting settled, the gift was tucked
away and temporarily forgotten. Three months later we held a
Christening party for our third child. Champagne flowed in
celebration until, running short, we remembered our housewarming
gift. In front of our guests, I opened the attached card and read
it aloud, 'Squirrel, take good care of this one--it's yours!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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what an offer
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I can't make love to you because
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Birth Of Prostitution
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Birth Of Republican Party
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Bit Muddy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bean Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous
beans for the church potluck, and her son, Little Johnny, came
running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BB's
in the other. He tripped and the BB's, naturally, went right into
the pot of beans.
Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he
should risk punishment, so he said nothing.
The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the
favorite dishes. The next day, the church secretary, Mary, called
Little Johnny's mother and said, "Jane, your beans were delicious as
usual, but what did you put in them this time?"
Jane replied, "Nothing new, why do you ask?"
"Well," said Mary, "this morning I bent over to feed the cat and I
shot the canary!"
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Fart Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two gay guys, called Cyril and Cecil naturally, are in a train
compartment
with just one other passenger, a City type reading his New York
Times.
"Cecil?" asks Cyril. "Do you mind if I fart?"
Cecil replies, "Of course not, luvvy! Go ahead!"
And with that Cyril emits a "Pffffffffff!
steam,
barely
audible.
A few minutes later Cecil asks, "Cyril? Do you mind I have a little
farty
poo?"
"No darling!" says Cecil.
And Cyril duly replies with a "Psssssssss!
air.
The City gent puts down his newspaper and says "I couldn't help
overhearing
you fellows, but would you mind awfully if I had a fart?"
Cyril and Cecil reply "Don't be shy on our part, ducky!"
And with that the City gent lets out a"HRRRRRMPPPPPHHHHH
window-rattling, ear splitting, air fouling, pickled eggs and draft
beer
fart.
With that, Cyril turns to Cecil and says, "You can always tell a
virgin!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chief Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome to Buffalo-Lite, Humor some mature , some immature for
people
on the go.
«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»
One day a big Indian Chief goes to his local pharmacy. He goes up to
the
clerk and says, "Last night me fuck squaw, left nut go 'oomph',
right
nut go 'oomph', dick go 'oomph',condom go BOOM!" Now the clerk was
quite
impressed by this sexual feat so he grabbed some Trojans for
professionals and tells theChief to come back and tell him how they
work
for him. The next day, the big Chief comes back to the pharmacy,goes
right up to the clerk and gruffly says, "Last night me fuck squaw,
left
nut go 'oomph', right nut go 'oomph', dick go 'oomph', condom go
BOOM!"
The clerk thinks to himself, "Damn, this guy must have somekind of
super
ejaculation going on." So he goes into theback of the store and gets
a
prototype condom for the Chief.The description on the box reads,
"This
is a joint effort between Goodyear and Michelin. This condom is
steel
belted and should only be used in extreme circumstances.
hands the condom to the Chief and tells him about the special
condoms,
and to report back to him on how well they work for him. The next
day,
the Chief comes back on crutches with a shotgun under his arm. He
storms
up to the clerk. The clerk is thinking, "Oh Shit! The condom must
not
have worked and he'sreally pissed." The Chief looks at the clerk and
yells, "Last night me fucksquaw!! Left nut go 'oomph', right nut go
'oomph', dick go'oomph, condom go 'oomph, left nut go 'BOOM'!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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============
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Walrus Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ODE TO AN OOSIK
Strange things have been done in the Midnight Sun,
and the story books are full---
But the strangest tale concerns the male,
magnificent walrus bull!
I know it's rude, quite common and crude,
Perhaps it is grossly unkind;
But with first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast,
is as ugly in front as behind.
Look once again, take a second look -- then
you'll see he's not ugly or vile --
There's a hint of a grin, in that blubbery chin --
and the eyes have a shy secret smile.
How can this be, this clandestine glee
that exudes from the walrus like music?
He knows, there inside, beneath blubber and hide
lies a splendid contrivance -- the Oosik!
"Oosik" you say -- and quite well you may,
I'll explain if you keep it between us;
In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth
"Oosik" is, in fact, his penis!
Now the size alone of this walrus bone,
would indeed arouse envious thinking --
It is also a fact, documented and backed,
There is never a softening or shrinking!
This, then, is why the smile is so sly,
the walrus is rightfully proud.
Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid,
Pray, why, is not man so endowed?
Added to this, is a smile you might miss ---
Though the bull is entitled to bow --
The one to out-smile our bull by a mile
is the satisfied walrus cow!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Salesman Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The toothbrush salesman with a speech impediment comes in to his
manager's office to give a report on his first week at work.
"Well, how'd you do?" asks the manager.
"Well thir, I thold two toothbrutheth.
"Two!" shouts the manager. "You're never going to make a living that
way."
"Well thir, I don't know what to do, people juth won't buy my
toothbrutheth.
The manager thinks and says, "Sounds to me like you need a gimmick."
The salesman asks, "Whath's a geemick?"
The manager explains, "A gimmick is something you use to entice,
excite
and motivate your customer about your product or service. A jingle,
a
slogan, something to make your customer feel a need for your product
or
service."
The salesman goes, "Hmm, I gueth I'll have to get me a geemick."
The salesman returns at the end of the next week to give his report.
The manager asks, "Well son, how'd you do this week?"
The salesman beams, "Well thir, I thold 185,353 toothbrutheth.
The manager leaps up, "My gosh, what did you do?"
The salesman grins and says, "I took your advith and got me a
geemick."
The manager excited now, says, "Well out with it son. What's your
gimmick? We need to pass this on to the rest of the staff. We'll
make
millions!"
The salesman says, "Well thir, I found me a real bithy thtreet
corner
and I thet up a table and a chair. On the table I put out thum
chipth
and dip. People would come up to the corner waiting to croth the
thtreet
and I would thay, 'Hey, while your waiting, how about thun chipth
and
dip?'
They would thay, 'Thure!' Then they would take a chip, get 'em thum
dip
and thtart to eat it.
Then they would say, 'Hey thith tath like thit!'
I would say, 'It ith thit. Want to buy a toothbruth?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Happy Father's Day Son in Law
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AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS
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Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
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Names Of God
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
3D Anamorphic Street Paintings Via Wesley
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doubleTwist
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Comparison of e-mail clients -Via Dianne
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Movie Clips
Men's Locker room
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Magic Finger Find The G Spot
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My new Philosophy
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My SS Check
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NEVER MARRY A WOMAN BIGGER THAN YOU!
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It Looked Like A Parking Space
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Kind So Flunky
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7 Wonders Of The World
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ABC Banner
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Adidas DM
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zipper Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 10 Polite Ways To Say Your Zipper Is Down,
from David Letterman
10. The cucumber has left the salad.
9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and
tend to his bells.
8. You need to bring your tray table to the
upright and locked
position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson..
6. Elvis is leaving the building.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no
introduction.
3. You've got a security breach at Los
Pantalones.
2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see
something that rhymes with
Venus.
And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is
unzipped....
1. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead
of "Hillary".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
blame dog
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady named Flo.
Whose lover had pulled out too slow.
So they tried it all night
'Till he got it just right.
Well, practice makes pregnant, you know.
____________
There was a young nun from Siberia,
Endowed with a virgin interior,
Until an old monk,
Jumped into her bunk,
And now she's the Mother Superior
____________
There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born,
And he wouldn't have been,
If his father has seen
That the tip of his condom was torn.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a
coyote
runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits
and
gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and
catches
the coyote by the hind legs and starts screwing it!
"Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the local
law.
She sees the local sheriff"s car parked in front of the town bar.
"It
figures," she says as she storms inside.
The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white
beard
sitting in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's
sitting at the bar with his drink.
"What kind of sick town are you running here?! I drive into town
and
almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal, and then I come in
here, and see this old man in the corner jacking-off! Right in
public!"
"Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "You don't expect him to
catch a coyote at his age, do ya?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Geoff was feeling particularly horny so he went to a whore on the
street
and asked, "How much do you charge?" The whore said, "100 bucks for
the
evening." Geoff said "Well, if I pay you 100 bucks, you will have to
do
it under my rules." The whore said, "That's fine." So Geoff took her
home and told her that they would close all the blinds and do it in
the
pitch dark. The whore turned to him and said, "Honey, its your
money, so
whatever you want is fine." They had sex, and Geoff told her to wait
10
minutes before they were to do it again. Then 10 minutes later, they
did
it again. After 6 times, he seemed to be getting stronger and
stronger.
"Geoff, you are the best lover I have ever had," she said. Then the
man
said, "Lady, my name is Bruce, Geoff is outside selling your ass to
all
his friends for 50 bucks a pop."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1617
The Way of the Wraith
Everyone gathers in the library, Sandi, Rudy, Katie, Kathleen, Rob,
Tami
and Paddy.
Paddy: Are you know feeling better Lassie?
Rudy: I thought Lassie was a dog.
Tami: I am feeling better no thanks to you and Lassie is a Scottish
term
for female Rudy.
Katie: We were concerned when you mentioned a Wraith around the
Castle Paddy.
Paddy: Ei, and tis a sad thing it this. Any unsuspecting soul who
is
caught outside at night when the Wraith is there... will their soul
is lost
forever. The people who live in this area have stayed away at night
for generations. Still the unsuspecting traveler wanders by and is
found
torn asunder the next day.
Rob: How utterly terrible. Surely, you have contacted the local
authorities?
Kathleen: And tell them what, a local Wraith is killing? They
would
never believe us.
Sandi: How can a Wraith be destroyed?
Paddy: Legend says a Wraith can only be destroyed by the pure in
heart and only by a silver tipped lance. So who among you has a
pure
heart? I have a silver-tipped lance.
Rudy: Sandi is pure in heart.
Sandi: Rudy is pure in heart.
Katie: Sandi is the most pure creature I know.
Tami: Either Rudy or Sandi would do.
Rob: Rudy has a bad hip, Sandi is in better health, so I vote
for Sandi.
Paddy: Sandi it is then. We will strike tonight and end this
curse.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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