Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The fans are off again and the windows closed. Rain is expected
for the next week and highs will be in the sixties and lower
seventies
while that is happening. Good for sleeping, bad for camping and
the beach. This is also the biggest tourist days of the summer and
the price of gas has dropped another nickel since last week so
it may be a good time to get away from that hot, humid weather you
have and come do some sightseeing up north.
Rain is good for sleeping, unfortunately it is not great for baling
hay.
The timothy is a little on the young side right now so it is
possible
to wait a week to start baling but every day after that the hay
starts
to lose moisture and food value and there is more breakage as it
goes through the baler, leaving hay in the field. It takes two days
from cutting to baling even with crimping and if it gets rained on
in
between the hay turns brown instead of bright green and the value
goes down. With the high cost of gas it is not long before you are
losing money.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Farmer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three whores were comparing notes about their
customers from the night before.
"I fucked a cowboy last night", said the first.
"How did you know he was a cowboy?" asked
the second.
"Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and
kept both the hat and the boots on all the time we
were screwing."
"Sounds like a cowboy, all right," the others agree.
"I fucked a lawyer," announced the second. "I could
tell because he wore a three piece suit and packed a
briefcase. He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to
the briefcase all the time we were fucking."
They all agreed he sounded like a lawyer.
"I fucked a grain farmer," commented the third.
"How could you possibly know he was a grain
farmer?" one asked.
"First he complained it was too dry, then he whined
it was too wet, then he asked if he could pay me in the
fall."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
300 times
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how it all started
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a hobby
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Break For Animals
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Break Glass
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Break Laws
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Church Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Sunday after church Sven meets Ole in the parking lot and
notices
that Ole has a big black eye. Sven says "Ole, Vat happen'd??!?
Ole says "Vell, ya know how hot it's been lately?"
Sven listening with a worried look says "Ya".
Ole says "Vell, vee ver sitting in church and ven vee stood up to
sing
da hymn the lady in front of me had her dress stuck between her
buuns,
so I pulled it out and I tink she didn't like dat"
The next week, Sven and Ole meet up in the church parking lot on
Sunday
morning but this time Ole's other eye is swelled up and black while
the
original shiner is healing. This time Sven, even more concerned says
"Yumpin' Yiminey, Ole! Vat happened!!??
So Ole says "Vell, ya know how hot it's been lately?"
Sven, shaking his head says "Ya".
Ole says "Vell, vee ver sitting in church and ven vee stood up to
sing
da hymn the lady in front of me had her dress stuck between her
buuns
and den da fella next to me, he pulled it out and, of course, I
stuck it
back in but I guess she didn't like dat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hooters Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the
maid.
She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One Friday she told
the
maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's
room,
switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the
bed. Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure
opened
the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her. After a few
passionate kisses, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and
asked,
"Surprised?" "I sure am, ma'am!" stammered the chauffeur.
One day, shortly after having her 9th baby, the good Irish lady ran
into
her parish priest. He congratulated her on the new offspring then
said,
"Isn't h aving nine babies a little much?" "Well," she said, "I
don't
know why I get pregnant so often, it must be something in the air."
"Yes," said the priest, "your legs!"
Bill staggered into the house at two o'clock in the
morning. As he entered his bedroom, he found another
man in bed with his wife.
His wife pushed the man off her and demanded to know
where Bill had been until two o'clock in he morning.
Bill looked at his wife's lover and demanded, "Who in
the hell is this guy, and what is he doing in bed with you?"
The wife responded, "Don't go changing the subject!
Where in the hell have you been so late?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Convert Your Car To Burn Water + Gasoline = Double Your Mileage!
Couple of weeks ago, this company was on Coast to Coast radio show
talking about their product for three hours. I liked their idea of
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Bobby turned 16, his big brother Luke decided to turn him into
a
`Real Man´.Luke took Bobby down to the local whorehouse and
explained to
Bobby: "Yer gonna be a `Real Man´ now... No more chasen yer sister,
or
hide´n in the barn. Thair´s real wi-men in thair, now go git one."
and
sent him inside. Once inside, Bobby explained to the madam that he
needed a`Real Woman´ so he could become a `Real Man´. The madam
smiled
at him: "Don´t worry, my boy, we´ll get a nice lass ta take care of
ya"
she promised. "Ya just do your part and make sure ya wear one of
these."
at that, the madam took a condom out of a drawer, unwrapped it, and
showed him how to put it on, by rolling it down over her thumb.
Bobby,
properly armed, parted with the money his brother gave him, and
dashed
up the stairs to Room Twelve, where a cheerful farmgirl quickly
showed
him the ropes. After he'd come, a frown passed over her face. "The
#$^%
rubber must have torn," she muttered. "I'm as soaked as a swamp..."
"Oh
no it didn't M'am" Bobby offered heartily, holding up his thumb as
evidence. "It's as good as new..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning:
My Dear Honey,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being
54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I
value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I
hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be
spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort
Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset, I shall be home before midnight. When the
man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the
dining room table:
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being
54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you
that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at
our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read
this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my
students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young,
virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful
businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will
understand that we are in the same situation, although with one
small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
Peggy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Mirrored Image
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John w/ Those Unforgettable Patsy Cline Songs
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Feature-Rich Screenshot Program.
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Movie Clips
Viagra Commercial
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Weight Lifting Surprise
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Why Airplanes Have Pillows
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Worst Best Man
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Yellow Snow
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Funny Stuff
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German Coast Guard
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Gun Control
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How Aliens Fish
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Idiot 1
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jackson Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
-They knew that something was wrong when all the color drained
back into him.
-On the way to hospital, he woke up temporarily and asked to be
put on the children's ward.
-What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney films?
Disney films can still touch children.
-Michael Jackson has cancelled all his upcoming dates. They were
James (aged 6) and Thomas (aged 9).
-The Jackson 5 are offering a 20% discount on their reunion.
-How could you tell when Michael Jackson was having an orgy at
Neverland? All the toy tractors parked outside.
-The funeral has had to be put off until next Thursday because
plastic recycling won't be collected until then.
-I don't feel anything about his death. He just never touched me
when I was younger...
-Michael Jackson liked to take young boys for a treat.
Unfortunately, he took them up the shitter.
-Madonna cant believe her luck... 3 more black kids up for
adoption.
-In honor of Michael Jackson passing away, McDonalds is
introducing the MJ Burger... 50 year old meat between 10 year
old buns.
-I heard they tried to use a defibrillator on MJ but it just
melted his chest.
-Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15? Because it's when the big
hand touches the little hand.
-Another report said that he was in fact in the children's ward
having a
stroke...
-It seems that there were drugs involved - they found Class A in
his bedroom, Class B in his bathroom and Class C in his living
room. An inquest into his death has been ruled out - it would
just be a whitewash...
-He hasn't been this stiff since McCauley Culkin visited him.
Now they can finally make Home Alone 4.
-His last will and testament declared that he wanted to be melted
down into a Playstation 4 so that children can continue to play
with him when he's dead. The alternative is that he can be made
into shopping bags so that he can remain white, plastic and
dangerous for children to play with.
Peggy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charming Black Man
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Cheaper Than Dating
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Chicken
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bush chenney
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bush pee
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
The abdominal toning Flex Belt is truly an awesome advance in
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose prick was so long he could suck it,
One day, in a glass,
He saw the hole of his ass,
And then broke his neck trying to fuck it.
____________
A soi-disant Mynheer Professor
Met a beat-up old whore from Odessa.
She applied all her arts
To his genital parts,
But they only grew lesser and lesser.
____________
A chap they all call Aloysius,
Of his wife and a guy grew suspysius.
And quicker than you'd think
He found them by the sink
But they were only doing the dysius.
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jenna, despite her good looks and charm, had still never
dated any boys at the age of 19. Today she was asking her
aunt Martha for advice with boys.
"Martha," she started, "I've just started French kissing
Tommy and I need to know where the spit should go. I don't want to
dribble on my boyfriend."
"Swallow." her aunt advised. "This will make you even more popular
later on."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If your sick and tired of the heat!!
This could be the most important letter you read this year!! You can
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Vest.
Make your Body Cooling Vest cheaply for about $15. A
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny is visiting the zoo with his mother. They go to the
elephant exhibit, where a big old bull elephant is taking a leak.
Johnny
points to the pachyderm's privates and says, "Mommy, what's that?"
Mommy, seeing the huge penis, turns bright red and says, "Oh, that's
nothing. Never mind. Come along now."
A few weeks later, Johnny is at the zoo with his father. Johnny
grabs
his dad by the hand, and pulls him over the elephants, saying he has
a
question. Once there, Johnny points to the elephant's penis and
says,
"Daddy, what's that?"
Dad replies, "Didn't your mother tell you?"
"Yes, she told me it was nothing."
"Well, your mom is spoiled, son."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1634
Home Again
With all aboard, the plane taxied down the runway and took off.
Rob: See Tami we made it quite fine.
Tami is smiling.
Rob: Why are you smiling so?
Tami: Because the rest of my shoe order is on your ship.
Rob: What?
Tami: Yes, I had to have the fawn-colored black shoes and the
pearl colored black pair, along with the other eight hundred and so
pair after all they were on sale.
Rudy: Does that mean the sales lady retired?
Tami: Frumpt!
Katie: I need some smelling salts for Rob!
later....
Rudy: We are approaching the KSR airport.
Tami: Where is it?
Katie: See down there, the three doghouses..
Tami: That patch of grass?
Rudy: We have landed there without incident three of four times.
Tami: Ack!
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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