THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  Do you prefer Nike(R) or Adidas(R)? Tell us. for a FREE $500 shopping gift card. http://www.thepostm  PLAYTEX Gentle Glide Unscented Multi-Pack - FREE* SAMPLE! At the gym or at a sleepover, on the road, or in a dress, feel 100% confident with PLAYTEX Gentle Glide protection. Your FREE* PLAYTEX Gentle Glide Unscented Multi-Pack offers a selection of absorbencies to provide you with the variety of comfort you need both at the start and end of your cycle. http://www.thepostm  MOUNTAIN DEW, 10 CASES FREE*! Drink Your Dew for FREE*. Active lifestyles rely on the refreshing lemon-lime citrus taste of MOUNTAIN DEW. Mountain bikers, rock climbers, skateboarders or surfers – It's Xtreme flavor for Xtreme personalities. http://www.thepostm  NEW Glade Scented Oil Candles - FREE* SAMPLE! Try all the difference scents: Spiced Rose Vanilla, Orchid Oasis or Dewberry Dreams! http://www.thepostm FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! According to a new survey, 11 percent of all Americans be tween the ages of 18 and 24 could not find the United States on a map of the world. How pathetic is that? President Bush commented on this today, he said, "Why do we need our kids to find the U.S. on a map? They're already here." We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman! THE COMICS him forget http://www.thepostm blah blah blah http://www.thepostm in the mood http://www.thepostm Vegas http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES like an animal http://www.thepostm that would be a fun toy to have http://www.thepostm amazing back flip http://www.thepostm how not to... http://www.thepostm poor treadmill http://www.thepostm the space shuttle http://www.thepostm  In a small town in Texas, the local madam operated a telephone service. The police finally arrested her and seized her big black book in which her talent was listed. Each officer on the force was assigned a group of the names in it and told to check them out. After a week, the Chief called a meeting to get their reports. When it became the turn of Constable Ralph to tell what he had found, he said, "I'm sorry, Chief, but I think I should disqualify myself. One of the ladies on whom I called is an eighty-four- She is so charming that I have to tell you that I have fallen in love with her." "Holy Ewings!" exclaimed the Chief. "I'm sure surprised at you, Ralph. You've been a policeman almost all your life -- and here you are, falling for the oldest trick in the book" ____________ In a survey during the Clinton era, when teenagers were asked where they can get free condoms, 40% said at a free clinic, 16% said from a friend, and 44% said at the White House gift shop. ____________ Paddy, suffering from a severe toothache, finally got up enough nerve to visit his dentist, but lost it again when he was about to get into the chair. The dentist told his assistant to give Paddy a shot of whiskey kept on hand for just such circumstances as this. "Ye got your courage back now?" the dentist asked. "No!" replied Paddy. So a second shot was brought, then a third. "Now have ye got your courage?" asked the dentist. "You're damn right!" Paddy said, squaring his shoulders. "I'd like to see the SOB who'd dare to touch me teeth now!" ____________ Three men of the cloth, a Catholic, a Jew and an Episco- palian were on an airplane trip together. They ran into the worst turbulence in the history of aviation on the whole flight. When the plane finally landed, a reporter is there and starts interviewing people. The first one is the Catholic and when asked was he afraid, he answered, "I am Catholic my son and yes, I was afraid but I prayed to my God and I knew he would see me through it." The reporter said thank you and went up to the next man of the cloth and asked was he afraid, he answered, "I am Jewish my son and yes, I was afraid but I prayed to my God and I knew he would see me through it." The reporter said thank you and went up to the third man of the cloth whose clothes were all messed up, wet streaks down his pants and chunks on his chest. He was asked the same questions and replied, "I'm an Ecopalian". The reporter says, "Ecopalian, what is an Ecopalian?" And the man of the cloth said, "That's an Episcopalian with the piss scared out of him!" ____________ Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? A: You look a bit flushed! ____________ A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't tell you how embarrassing it is, to have a compulsion like this." Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the man see an analyst about his problem. "I happen to have the name of a Psychoanalyst, said. "My Brother and my Wife have both been treated by him, and they say he's as good as they get." The man wrote down the name of the Doctor, thanked the bartender, and left. The bartender smiled, knowing he'd done a good deed for a fellow human being.Six months later, the man was back. "Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, serving the glass of white wine. "I certainly did," the man said. "I've been seeing the Psychoanalyst twice a week." He took a sip of the wine. Then he threw the remainder into the bartender's face. The flustered bartender wiped his face with a towel. "The Doctor doesn't seem to be doing you any good." He sputtered. "On the contrary," the man claimed, "he's done me a world of good.""But you threw the wine in my face again!" The bartender exclaimed."Yes. ____________ A blonde & brunette are in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets in who looks perfect: 3-piece suit, great build, nice butt. The only bad part is that the guy has terrible dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor. Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Someone should give him 'Head & Shoulders.'" To which the blonde replies, "How do you give Shoulders?" Only A Mile Away Buffalo Bill Viagra Fencing http://www.buffalos Only A Mile Away http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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