 FOLGERS FREE* SAMPLE! Get a TASTE Of GOURMET in Every Cup! Every cup of FOLGERS Gourmet Selections coffee captures the freshness and flavor of exceptionally aromatic beans. From delicate & bright to rich & creamy, awaken your senses with a flavorful collection of gourmet- inspired ground coffee. http://thepostmansc  ***Tide, All or Cheer?*** Tell us which detergent you prefer and get $100 free*! Which do you like best? Vote Now and Get $100, FREE*! http://www.thepostm  PEPSI or DIET PEPSI Vote for the Better Beverage & get 12 Cases FREE*! Which Soft Drink did you prefer this summer? Get 12 cases FREE! http://www.thepostm My old Ford Taurus, having nobly served me many years, finally bit the dust and I buried it at the beginning of this summer. That was no big deal. With warm weather, the cycle sufficed for transportation. However, the seasons change, and I realize it is going to be necessary for transportation changes, also. Went Car shopping with "the war department." We came pretty close to signing papers on a new Chevvy Cobalt. However, we decided to sleep on it. And after asking the question, "Do we really want to go in debt for 7 years?" The conclusion was a negative. Also, considering that I do not do a lot of driving, that much expenditure just didn't make a lot of sense. We went to car lot after car lot, and finally, after many days of frustration, yesterday I bought the car I had seen the first time since I started shopping. Figures, doesn't it? And no, its DEFINTITELY not "Green" ...I am now the proud owner of a Crown Victoria, loaded with all the extras and it is "power" everything. All it lacks is a M60 machine gun for the sunroof:) Yeah its old, but its beautiful, and I'm riding in style. I'll sacrifice a few miles per gallon. Y'all can keep the economy cars, I gotta have my creature comforts. Drives like a battleship, and that lumbar seat is heavenly. Only thing it lacks is a m60 sub machine gun for the sunroof. I think I'm in love. (just don't tell "the war department). By the way, today is gonna be in the 80s and it will likely be one of the last good days of the season for a decent cycle ride. I plan to hit the door running as soon as I get this list mailed! Remember when Coors beer was something of a novelty? In the 70s because of legal restrictions, and memory seems to tell me that it was banned in many states because of alcoholic content, I think. Some of you oldsters can correct me on that, I'm sure. But anyways...in 1977 you could only get it in places like Texas, before the company achieved national distribution. I remember when a local radio station pulled a well popularized stunt when one of the disc jockeys went down south and attempted to load his pickup with the stuff and bring it back home. Someone tipped off the highway patrol, and the poor fellow's arrest was broadcast over the radio. Now that Coors has come of age, the publishers have asked me to find out which brew you prefer? You drink bud? or Coors? or do you not drink at all? Please do me a favor and let us know. The publishers will help underwrite costs of publishing by doing so, and it won't cost you anything! And it will help keep The Postman's Corner FREE to all who ask for it!  Which beer do you drink? Budweiser? or Coors? or do you not drink? Get a $500 American Express Gift Card when you participate in our Nationwide Beer Survey from YourTopBrands! Which beer do you prefer: Budweiser or Coors? http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS interoffice mail http://www.thepostm the last five years http://www.thepostm product recognition http://www.thepostm times are tough http://www.thepostm financial plannig http://www.thepostm dang tremors http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES 3 times the protection http://www.thepostm Dear Mr. Obama http://www.thepostm computer fights back http://www.thepostm Russian candid camera http://www.thepostm lets go skiing http://www.thepostm why I don't fish http://www.thepostm ____________  A very flat-chested Blond finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra??" The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to Wal-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this??" The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil??" ____________ Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs.' The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him 80 dollars a week unemployment pay. Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel Fitter.' Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick 160 dollars a week. When Paddy found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, 'Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.' 'What skill?' yelled Paddy. 'I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says: 'Yep, diesel fitter.' ____________ Out in space, two alien forms are speaking with each other. The first spaceman says, "The dominant life formed on the earth planet have developed satellite based weapons." The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence? " The first spaceman says, "I don't think so. They have them aimed at themselves." Paddy was looking for work, and his mate told him that they needed someone up at the Blacksmiths. Paddy went to see the bloke, and said, "My mate tells me your looking for someone to work here." "Yes, that's right." said the Blacksmith, "Can you shoe Horses?" "I'm not sure," said Paddy, "but I once told a Donkey to fuck off." ____________ Twelve of the Most Terrifying Things to Hear 1. The dentist says: "This won't hurt a bit." 2. The IRS announces: "We are simplifying the tax forms." 3. Your lawyer says: "This is an air-tight case-- you can't lose." 4. Your stock broker says: "This little drop in the market is just a minor correction." 5. Your physician says: "You're in great shape-- you'll live to be 100!" 6. Your business partner says: "Nothing can possibly go wrong." 7. Your best friend says: "Trust me-- I'll never tell a soul." 8. The directions on a do-it-yourself kit say: "Even a child can do it." 9. Your colleagues say: "We're behind you 100%-- we'll back you up." 10. Someone giving you directions says: "You can't miss it." 11. The airline pilot announces: "Just a bit of turbulence folks-- nothing to worry about." 12. A voice on the telephone says: "Congratulations! You're an instant winner!" Buffalo Bill Tongue Tricks http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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