THE POSTMAN'S CORNER I believe silence will teach you something if you listen hard.  NEW! Milk Chocolate Covered OREO - Get 3 Boxes for FREE*! Meet the Richest Cookie Ever! It's your favorite sandwich cookie decadently wrapped in pure milk chocolate. OREO has never been as luxurious as it is now, draped in the richest, purest, milk chocolate. Taste the fortune. Sign up now to receive your 3 Boxes, FREE*! http://www.thepostm Play Mahjong FREE!  The biggest opportunities are hidden in the smallest moments. See them, understand them, make use of them, and they can lift you to incredible heights. life is not always fun nor is it always free! But it should be! Download and play mahjong and countless other games for FREE!!! http://www.thepostm  NEW TOOTSIE ROLL Chocolate Covered Mini Chews - FREE* SAMPLE! TOOTSIE ROLL Chocolate Covered Mini Chews are a delicious after-dinner treat or midday snack. Try them for FREE*! get a 12-PACK SAMPLE delivered to your door http://www.thepostm  Get your FREE* TCBY Ice Cream! http://www.thepostm I am feeling pretty good about myself. Since my stay in the hospital last month with pneumonia, I have lost about 17 pounds. Altho I'm sure a lot of this is due to sickness, I am also sure that at least some portion of it is due to the diligence of the war department to keep me eatting healthy. There are a couple of draw backs, however. I had just purchased about 6 pairs of new jeans before the weight loss. I can't walk anywhere without hanging on to my pants with one hand to keep em from falling to the floor when I walk. I even put a new notch in my belt .... that helped some. Might have to resort to some suspenders. oh well. And even with the weight loss, I still have a pudgy looking beer belly And I don't even drink beer! Go figger. Guess I'm going to have to do a little excersize to flatten things out some. But the eatting right is good. I was proud of myself yesterday. I limited my carbs the way I should, but you know what? I think I need a reward today, don't you? How should I splurge? a big huge pizza from Papa Johns? or should I run out and get A nice bannana split from the local dairy queen? ok, thats it, I'm outta here. gonna go find some carbs! hehehe.  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman The Comics life or death http://www.thepostm look at Kenny http://www.thepostm I was here first http://www.thepostm the Lockhorns http://www.thepostm until death do us part http://www.thepostm it all comes back to you http://www.thepostm the laser light and the kitty http://www.thepostm the dinosaur http://www.thepostm A Jewish congregation in suburban Boston honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, he finds a beautiful nude woman lying on the bed. She greets the Rabbi with, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the President of the Temple arranged for you." The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the Temple and shouts, "Greenblatt, what were you thinking? Where is your respect? I am the moral leader of our religious community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of this." Hearing this, the naked woman gets up and starts to get dressed. The Rabbi turns to her and asks, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you." ____________ A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, tell me something that will make me Happy and Sad all at the same time." She said "You have the biggest dick of all your friends." ____________ Mary: I wish I'd known more about midlife before I got here! Jill: What do you mean? Mary: Well, I lost my sex drive years ago. I had no idea it could be menopause! I thought it was just because I was married! ___________ A group of office co-workers decided one day to share a ride to work. What they did not realize was that they also shared the same fear -- claustrophobia. As they were driving through a mountain tunnel, all began to scream wildly! The car went out of control, but finally, they were able to slow down and pull over to the side of the road. A psychologist who was driving behind the car saw everything and stopped to see if he could help. He immediately ascertained what the problem was -- they were suffering from carpool tunnel syndrome. ____________ Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?" Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face. Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis." The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me to my hotel and step on it." The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so great to see you!" "Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and drive!" So, the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter. "Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel clerk. "You're back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches, masseurs, complementary hookers and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!" Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, "Thank you. Thank you very much!" ____________ Buffalo Bill THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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