THE POSTMAN'S CORNER It takes strength to stand alone. It takes courage to lean on others. It is not often that I personally recommend a product. I confess I usually tend to be skeptical of most claims with thos "as seen on tv" things." so when the publishers asked me to offer Shamwow, I decided I wanted to try it out first. We do not have a garage and so "the war department" parks her car underneath some rather large trees, and between the leaves they drop and the birds that nest, it gets a pummeling. I figgered, "what the heck. what better test?" right! I was simply AMAZED with the results. It positively looked as if I had waxed the car when I was done! It shined! The ShamWow is a revolutionary, multi-use cleaning cloth that holds over 20 times its' weight in liquids. It's like a towel, chamois and a sponge all in one! Shawow is made in Germany from a revolutionary fabric that can absorb 20 times its weight in liquids. Use them to clean up spills fast and they won't scratch surfaces. you can use them as a towel on your pets. they are machine washable and bleachable. use them over and over and they will last for years. Car, boat,you name it, they are guaranteed for 10 years. and you will find hundreds of uses. Highly recommended by the postman: And if you order now, they will double the size of your order for no extra cost, you can't lose on a deal like that! And all proceeds will be used to defray the publishing expenses of THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! Order yours today! http://www.thepostm  According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 9,000 people are screwing right now, 2,000 are kissing. 100 are getting head, and 1 lonely person is reading emails. You hang in there, Sunshine! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS the prenup says http://www.thepostm baggage at the airlines http://www.thepostm a tired night http://www.thepostm back yard grilling http://www.thepostm junk food and flowers http://www.thepostm wierd Al "Constipated" http://www.thepostm the asshole song http://www.thepostm the honeymoon race http://www.thepostm the gas passer http://www.thepostm may I have a pillow http://www.thepostm newstand prank http://www.thepostm droopy boobs http://www.thepostm Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. "Will you marry me, darling?" he asked. Lisa smiled coyly and said, "Yes, if you'll buy me a mink." Kurt thought for a moment and then replied, "Okay, it's a deal, on one condition." "What is that?" Lisa asked. "You'll have to clean the cage," Kurt replied. ____________ A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation. At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him." Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was. "Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around really smart people." ____________ nice things about being a man 1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 2- Your orgasms are real. Always. 3- Your last name stays put. 4- The garage is all yours. 5- Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. 7- Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10- Same work, more pay. 11- Wrinkles add character. 12- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency Crotch adjustments. ___________ Saint Peter was at the Pearly Gates when three people arrived. The first one comes up to the entrance and St. Peter asks, "What did you die of?" The man replies, "I died of the big 'C'." St. Peter says, "The big 'C'? What's that?" The man replies, "Cancer. It ate me up alive." St. Peter says, "You poor soul. Go right on in." The next man walks up to Saint Peter, and Saint Peter asks, "What did you die of?" The man replies, "I died of the big 'H'." Saint Peter asks, "The big 'H'? What's the big 'H'?" The man says, "Heart attack. I was playing with my kids when my heart gave out, and here I am." Saint Peter says, "You poor soul. Go right on in." The third person, a lady, walks up to Saint Peter. She is dressed like a street walker. Saint Peter asks, "What did you die of?" The girl replies, "I died of the big 'G'." Saint Peter says, "The big 'G'? I've never heard of the big 'G'." She says, "That's the big 'G' for Gonorrhea." Saint Peter replies, "Gonorrhea? No one dies of gonorrhea!" The girl replies, "You do if you give it to Leroy!" ____________ A redneck couple had just been married and went to an expensive hotel for their honeymoon. The man went to the front desk and asked for a room. He said "This is a very special 'casion. It's our weddin' night and we need your BEST room with a strong bed." The clerk winked and asked, "Do you want the bridal?" The redneck fellow thought about it for a minute and then replied, "No, I guess not. I'll just hold on to her ears 'til she gets used to it." ____________ A sexy lady meet a handsome young man in a pub, after some drinks and a little tipsy the sexy lady said to the young man, "My mouth is like a loud speaker, my two breasts are for tuning, left one is for tuning the channel AM or FM and my right breast is for tuning bass and treble depending which mode you want." The young man was aroused by the young lady expression, and said to the lady, "I don't believe it." Young lady said, "You can try it if you want." Young man said, "OK come to my hotel room and prove it to me." They agreed and both holding hands and headed for the hotel room. Upon entering the room the young lady undressed herself and soon the young man start feeling the left nipple for AM/FM fine tuning. After a while nothing happen. He changed to the right nipple and start rubbing with greater pressure. Again nothing happened. The young man soon give up and ask the lady, "Hello sweetie, after I have tuned your AM/FM and treble/bass nipples there are no response." The sexy lady replied, "You forgot to PLUG IN your power." Buffalo Bill THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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