THE POSTMAN'S CORNER You can't stay young forever, but you can be immature for the rest of your life.  Chili's™ or Applebee's™.. Which restaurant has better food? Answer now for your chance to get $500 in gift cards to the restaurant of your choice.  Congratulations! You have been selected to receive a GE(R) Tall Tub Built-In Dishwasher for FREE! The New GE(R) Tall Tub Built-in Dishwasher features enough room to wash 15 place settings, cookie sheets, extra tall items and even has an extra flip down rack for smaller dishes. It also features the brand new Sani Sensor(TM) technology, which continuously monitors water temperature to ensure proper sanitization! Upgrade your tired old dishwasher today with a brand New GE(R) Tall Tub for FREE! http://www.thepostm FREE...  Get SNACKWELL'S Devil's Food Cookie Cakes 12 BOXES FREE*! Indulge your sweet tooth without the worry! SNACKWELL'S Devil Food Cookie Cakes are ONLY 50 CALORIES per serving - and without compromising great taste. Made with rich cocoa surrounded by a layer of crème and covered in chocolate, SNACKWELL'S Devil Food Cookie Cakes are a devilishly delicious treat! http://www.thepostm FREE SAMPLE  NEW! MITCHUM SMART SOLID Men's Antiperspirant & Deodorant, FREE*! NEW! MITCHUM Smart Solid Men's Antiperspirant & Deodorant is designed for the man on the move. Whether you're walking the dog, working out at the gym, or running the kids to practice, MITCHUM Smart Solid formula keeps you fresh & dry during any activity - and always free from from the sticky white residue other solid deodorandts leave behind. http://www.thepostm You know, this job thing with the economy is just getting rediculous. Its getting more and more difficult to find work every day. Now that I am feeling a little more healthy after the problem with that pneumonia, I have been out hustling and looking without much success. I dunno, maybe its the housing downturn, maybe its the higher gas prices, just don't seem like there is a whole lot of healthy in that department right now. Of course, I must admit that I've been experiencing some difficulty filling out job applications lately. Not sure if that has anything to do with it. Specially the part when it comes to Sex: F or M I never know which to choose. I really like to fuck, but to be honest, I spend most of the time masterbating. oh well. wonder why they need to know that when I apply for a job? go figger. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman The Comics that girl http://www.thepostm a good woman http://www.thepostm did you see the new invention? http://www.thepostm poor Harvey http://www.thepostm weight lifter http://www.thepostm the office called http://www.thepostm the gamblers http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES the gator http://www.thepostm the bicyclist http://www.thepostm an office prank http://www.thepostm timber cutters http://www.thepostm chinese technology/makes paralell parking easy http://www.thepostm A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?' Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price.' ____________ Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law. ____________ Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' Wife: 'Yes or no.' ____________ Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?' Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?' Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' ____________ Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' _____ Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' ____________ This guy fell asleep on the beach one day and the wind came up and blew sand all over him until he was covered with only his big toe sticking out. An old nympho was walking down the beach, saw the toe sticking up, pulled down her bikini bottom and squatted over the toe. She humped away till she was satisfied, pulled up her drawers and left. The guy woke up, brushed the sand away and left, not knowing what happened. The next day his foot itched like hell, and had a sore on it. He went to the Dr. and after an exam the doc told him he had syphilis of the big toe. "Syphilis of the big toe?", he inquired, "isn't that rare." The doc said "You think that's rare, I had a woman inhere this morning with athlete's pussy." ____________ Farmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field. Upon ariving Farmer Brown and his wife saw a spaceship landing. They were approached by two aliens. The aliens said they were researching human sex life and wanted to know if they could partner switch. After talking it over Farmer Brown and his wife agreed. The next morning the aliens left. Farmer Brown was dying to ask his wife what happened. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and broke down and asked her. Well what happened? She replied, It was the best sex I ever had! Why? asked Farmer Brown. Well when he took off his pants it wasn'r but an inch long and as big around as my pinky, but then he reached up and turned his left ear and it grew as to 16 inches, then he turned his right ear and it got as big around as a sausage. Farmer Brown said, Well shit, no wonder that bitch was trying to rip my ears off!! Buffalo Movies When Not To Clean your Glasses http://www.buffalos Where Croissants Come From http://www.buffalos Why Men Have Bikes http://www.buffalos Papa Thorn Apple, anyone? (smut alert) http://able2laugh. Just Kicking Back http://able2laugh. Fun pages from Lorraine Cat With Hypnotic Eyes http://tinyurl. If Dad Raised the Kids http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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