THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  Get 1 Box of KIX Cereal, FREE*! KIX-START YOUR MORNING! Start your morning strong with a FREE* box of KIX! Kids love its great-tasting, lightly-sweetened, crispy puffs of corn and parents love its nutritional value. KIX isn't one of those artificial or sugar-laden cereals. KIX has NO added colors, NO added flavors, NO artificial preventives - just the added benefits of 12 vitamins & minerals! We deliver right to your door. But hurry, offer is valid for a limited time only! http://www.thepostm  Get a 12-PACK of GATAORADE, FREE*! Ready. Set. GATORADE! For hydration. For replenishment. For energy. Get your FREE* 12-Pack of GATORADE THIRST QUENCH delivered right to your door. hurry, offer is valid only while our supplies last! http://www.thepostm So, anybody watch the debates between John and Barack? I confess, I've been a little preoccupied riding the cycle these last few days to really pay much attention. In the end I would have to say, I do not think either candidate is going to be able to do what it takes to rescue this nation's economy. I suspect it simply is gonna be a waste of 700 billion bux of yours and my money, when they approve the so called rescue or whatever. Ultimately, we probably will still end up with a major economic crisis. What do you think will happen? Who will make a better president?  Which candidate will be a better president? Would you rather choose John McCain or Barack Obama? Tell us. Then complete the program requirements for a FREE $250 Visa(R) Gift Card. http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman\ new teacher at school http://www.thepostm an acquired taste http://www.thepostm Blimey, Fred http://www.thepostm casual friday http://www.thepostm are you ready? http://www.thepostm both working http://www.thepostm ____________  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES new windshield wiper blides http://www.thepostm at the mail box http://www.thepostm candid camera http://www.thepostm A minister, after listening to an impromptu campaign speech, "Before I vote for you for sheriff, I'd like to know if you partake of intoxicating beverages?" Candidate for sheriff, "Before I answer, tell me: is this an inquisition or an invitation?" ____________ Kitty: I suspect that my ex used to visit prostitutes before we met. Becky: What makes you think so? Kitty: Well, one night we were just playing around, and he picked me up and headed for the bedroom. Becky: So? Kitty: So I giggled and asked, "Should I struggle?" And he asked, "I don't know. Does that cost extra?" ____________ Little Johnny got the crabs from a girlfriend and wanted to know how to get rid of them. There are three options. 1. Hold a mirror opposite of your genitals and the crabs will think that there is another crotch to jump off onto. 2. Shave off half of your pubic hair, set the other half on fire and stab the crabs with an ice pick when they run out of the first half. 3. Go to a movie; buy a box of popcorn, a coke, and a pack of milk duds. When the movie is really getting to a point of real excitement be sure to drop some of the popcorn into your lap so the crabs can eat some of the popcorn. The salt in the popcorn will make the crabs really thirsty, and they will go to the lobby to get some water. While they are gone, you get up and move to another seat. ____________ A woman went to a discount store service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it didn't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, "Rub my nipples, rub my nipples." By now a crowd was beginning to gather. The clerk ran away to get the store manager who asked the lady what was wrong. She explained once again that she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The manager also told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, "Rub my nipples, rub my nipples." The crowd was growing larger. The very embarrassed store manager asked the lady why on earth she was making such a scene and she very demurely replied, "because I like to have my nipples rubbed when I am being screwed." The crowd exploded in applause; she walked out of the store with a complete refund and a very smug look on her face. ____________ Q: Why did the apple go out with a fig? A: Because it couldn't find a date! Q: Why is it always cool in a sports stadium? A: Because there's a fan in every seat. ____________ THAT'S All Folks Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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