[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER



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I am very tired today. I left the house yesterday about 10am, cruising
down the road on the cycle. Although it was a bit cool until the sun
really came out a couple hours later, it was a great day for riding.
I got back home about 12 hrs later and 250 or so miles:) I'm quite sure
"the war department" was not real happy with me. However, I do not
know for sure what she said, because my head hit the pillow five minutes
after I walked in the door. And I slept like a baby. The wind in your face
and the sun all day can really tire you out. Its good for me
tho. Since my pneumonia, it seems like I still lack a little strength
in my arms, and riding the bike is good to redevelope it.
Overall, it was a great day!
 
A letter from a postman fan.
Dear postman.
I have tried it all, Norton and Mcaffey's and all them virus scanners.
Somehow I never seem to be able to stay "clean" on the computer.
Then every time you turn around, they want you to send them money
or your subscription will expire.
What can I do to find a better choice of protection?
Jul732
 
The Postman says,
Well  Jul, first you need to excersize a little judgment. Don't download
from websites that you are unfamiliar with. Avoid file sharing programs
and etc. particularly music swapping programs. and etc. But, if you want
to find a better software to protect yourself from infections, spyware,
trojans, spam, and all that, why don't you try Cyber defender? I like it
and use it. It updates within hours when there are new virus threats.
What I like about it, unlike other systems, it won't slow down your
computer while it is working. Why don't you try it out? It has a free trial
down load, and it won't cost
you a thing. I like it and recommend it.
You can test it with a FREE DOWNLOAD
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/5621.html
The Postman

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
 
 


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THE COMICS

what you don't want to hear
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the window
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Finally some Responses To Avoid When She Says, "Do I Look Fat In This?"
 
"Not to Stevie Wonder."
 
"No way!  You look *least* fat in that outfit!"
 
"I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat
with an f or phat with a ph."
 
"No hablo ingles."
 
"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker,
so things balance out."
 
"No, but taking it *off* sure does."
 
"Okay, listen:  What's important is that you not focus in a
negative way on the comparison I am about to make ..."
 
"Not if you were traveling at the speed of light."
 
"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
 
"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
 
"Shit!  A talking couch!"
 
"May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"
___________________
 
One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class,
"who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?"
The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another.
No one knows. Finally, Little Johnny sticks up his hand.
The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for
foul language and sexual inuendo, looks for another student to ask.
Finally when no one else raises their hand, she says, "yes, Johnny?"
"Miss Figpot, it's means lovely."
Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, "Johnny, can you
explain why you think indifferent means lovely?"
"Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mom say,
'that's lovely'. Dad replied to her, 'Yep, it's in different.'"
__________________
 
Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Vancouver and
park themselves on a bar stool.
One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't
mind us,we're joined at the hip. I'm John,
he's Jim.Two Molson Canadian beers please'. The bartender,
feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite c
onversation while pouring the beers.
Been on holiday yet, lads?'
'Off to England next month,' says John.
'We go to England every year and hire a car
and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agrees.
'Ah, England !' says the bartender.
'Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture.'
Nah, we don't like that British crap,' says John.
"Hamburgers & MolsonsT beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't
stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude.'
'So why keep going to England ?' asks the
bartender.'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.
______________
 
Why Cats are Better than Men
 
1. A cat always comes in SOBER after being out all night.
 
2. When a cat goes to the toilet she tries not to leave a trace.
 
3. You can put a bell around a cat's neck so you know exactly where she is.
 
4. If you stroke a cat she won't leap on you for sex.
 
5. You don't mind that much if a cat brings a bird home every night.
 
6. When a cat comes in at midnight it doesn't wake you up by smashing into the furniture.
 
7. Cats never pretend they know how to fix the video.
 
8. Cats don't care what size your boobs are.
 
9. Cats still love you even when your perm goes wrong.
 
10. Cats love rubbing up to your legs however much cellulite you have.
 
11. Cats can be neutered if they stray.
________________
 
On the first night he pulled his revival meeting tent into the Southern
town, Preacher Bob had a full house.  After a long, rousing and sweaty
revival meeting, Preacher Bob says to the crowd, "Now I know that
some of you have been he'in and she'in without the benefit of the sacrament
of marriage.  Those of you guilty of this grievous sin are not welcome
back in this tent until you have gotten right with Jesus."
The next night the revival tent is only half full.  After going through
the same long, rousing and sweaty revival meeting, Preacher Bob
says to the crowd, "Now I know that some of you have been he'in and
he'in without the benefit of the sacrament of marriage.  Those of you
guilty of this grievous sin are not welcome back in this tent until you
have gotten right with Jesus."
The next night the revival tent in only one quarter full.  
After going through the long, rousing and sweaty revival meeting
the third night, Preacher Bob says to the crowd, "Now I know that
some of you have been she'in and she'in without the benefit of the
sacrament of marriage.  Those of you guilty of
this grievous sin are not welcome back in this tent until
you have gotten right with Jesus." The next night there is
only one man left in the audience.  It was ol' Danny, a middle
aged virgin due to his lack of sex appeal, even by hillbilly
standards. Preacher Bob says, "Now brother, you should feel proud
that you are still able to come to this tent tonight.  I want you to testify! 
Testify how it is that you are able to join me tonight in this holy tent!"
Danny responds, "Shit preacher, you didn't say nothin'
bout me-in and me-in!"
________________
 
The man entered the florist shop and ordered a bouquet
of flowers to be delivered to his wife. When asked what
he wanted on the card, he replied that no card was
necessary as she'd know who they came from.
Shortly after the flowers were delivered, the florist
received a phone call from the wife asking who had sent
the flowers. The florist told her that the sender
requested no card be included.
"Please, I've GOT to know WHO sent these flowers BEFORE
my husband comes home for lunch!"
___________________

Buffalo Bill

Car Pooling
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/02280608.htm
 
 
 
 
Registered
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/02280611.htm

Fun pages from Lorraine
 
Cutest Kitten Ever
http://tinyurl.com/254s2l
 
World's Biggest Mouth
http://tinyurl.com/596rop
 
 
That's all folks
have a nice day
From:
Martin aka the postman









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