THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. ~Spike Milligan  Enjoy 5 FREE* Days at WALT WORLD DISNEY WORLD This year wow the family with an all inclusive trip to the most enchanted place on earth -- the one & only Walt Disney World! Act now to receive a $1000 American Express Gift Card good towards your Walt Disney World family vacation package. http://www.thepostm  NEW! Milk-Bone Grillin' Bites Chewy Dog Treats 3-Pack FREE*! Choose your dog's favorite flavor: • Chicken Drumstix • Bacon & Cheese http://www.thepostm  Treat Your Family to a FREE* Bowling at AMF! Try Xtreme Glow In The Dark Bowling! To receive your $100 American Express gift card for AMF bowling: 1. Register 2. Complete our survey and sponsor offers 3. Verify and confirm your information http://www.thepostm FREE SAMPLE  Claim Your FREE* 3 Boxes of Stouffer's Frozen Dinners http://www.thepostm I don't know about you, but I am confused about all this talk on the economic crisis. In fact, I confess that as a simple man I do not understand the stock market and this so called "buy out" or "rescue" or whatever plan. Kindof interesting, I found an explanation that puts the stock market into perspective for us... Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each." The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  ____________ The Comics 30-60 days do you promise http://www.thepostm doggy style http://www.thepostm how cat fights start http://www.thepostm bingo money http://www.thepostm let me call you back http://www.thepostm a Vegas payoff http://www.thepostm mixed doubles http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Bill Engvall and the Thunderbirds http://www.thepostm the Moron family http://www.thepostm turtle hunting http://www.thepostm sex in a convertible http://www.thepostm Strangers on a train: Alfred Hitchcock http://www.thepostm a moment of clarity http://www.thepostm ============ Five Daily Babe Pix Do you love ogling beautiful women?? We deliver to you one babe daily in five different poses, a total of five pictures Get your motor running with the hottest babes delivered daily FiveDailyBabePix- http://au.groups. ============ Sadie and Sophie are sitting at the kitchen table, bragging. "My daughter lives in a penthouse apartment in Miami," says Sadie. "She goes out to dinner every night at a different restaurant, has beautiful furs and clothes, and lots of boyfriends. " Sophie replies, "Yeah, my daughter's a whore too." ___________ An English landowner and his Irish manservant ran into each other in hell one day. "My lord," the Irishman exclaimed, "What are you doing here?" The landowner sighed. "I'm here because I lied, cheated, and stole to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine. But you were a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?" "For fathering that playboy son of yours," the Irishman replied. ____________ A Coney Island caballero met a girl at a neighborhood dance. They hit it off well together, and when the evening ended they left together. Much to his chagrin, his lady friend bade him a cheery 'good night' and signalled for a cab. But he was not to be put off that easily. "Look, baby," he said. "Let me take you home." "Well... "Come on, honey. I promise not to hug you, kiss you, make a pass, or try to have an affair with you. I'll be a perfect gentleman." "Brother," she began, opening the taxi door, "you've just talked yourself out of a Hell of a date." ____________ Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem". The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis looks loike a grand place, he?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy. They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, he Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, "Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin' is Too fockin' dangerous for me" A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat parrotshooting nider" A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself of the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now you blimmin' hen gliding" ____________ Every weekend before she went out on a date, the young girl was told by her mother, "Remember dear, when he tries to touch you a certain way, a girl's best friends are her legs." Much to her mother's dismay however, several weeks later her daughter announced that she was pregnant. "What! How did it happen? Didn't I tell you that your best friends are your legs?" "You did, Mama," she replied. "But there comes a time when even best friends must part." ___________ BUFFALO BILL Farmplay http://www.buffalos Billy Was Warned http://www.buffalos Cat or hubby http://able2laff. Elvis vs. Godzilla http://able2laff. FUN PAGES FROM LORRAINE Crazy Woman http://tinyurl. Amazing Personality Test http://tinyurl. Severe Pain in the Butt http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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