[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For WEd


Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Sunday night or actually early Monday morning I was listening to
Coast to Coast AM when their featured guest caught my attention. His
name was Sir Charles Shults and I thought at first they had revived
the creator of the Peanuts comic strip. It turned out that this man
had a subject that was much more vital to our time
period, power generation using solar thermal energy which is
not only free but plentiful in many parts of our country. The
problem
with using traditional photovoltaic cells for power generation is
they are expensive to produce, have a short life expectancy and you
need thousands of them in panels to get any large amount of power.

Shults idea uses Fresnel Lenses to collect and concentrate sunlight
onto a steam generator which will in turn drive a steam turbine. The
technology dates back 100 years to lighthouses and adds a computer
and positioners to move the array with the path of the sun. Of
course you won't have electricity being generated during nighttime
hours but
for apartment buildings, homes, and small businesses battery banks
could supply power at night or it could be used on a utility grid to
back up the system during peak hours which are usually from early to
late

afternoon.

He has constructed a ten panel unit that produces 6 megawatts of
power that you can see in the video that looks remarkably simple.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3lrAZlIua0

Enjoy the chips ..... buffalo

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Klingon Chips
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A certain Russian starship navigator was the only survivor

of a shuttle craft landing on a disputed planet. Unfortunately

he had landed in Klingon territory and was promptly captured

by two Klingons who claimed he was spying.

Alas, the Klingons had lost their own transportation and their

communicators in the same ion storm, so they had to march

on foot and did not reach their destination 'til nightfall. Around

the campfire, the Klingons began to bore the young man with

boasts of Klingon strength and machismo.

Finally the Russian said, "That's not so tough. In Russia we're

so tough we play Russian Roulette instead of poker."

The Klingons asked what was so tough about Russian Roulette

and were fascinated by the Starfleet officer's description of the
"sport".
"That is indeed an exhilarating sport and an honorable death for

the losers. Do you think you can teach us this game if we untie

your hands?," asked the leader.

Seeing an opportunity to get his hands free and on a phaser or

blaster, the young navigator agreed. His hands were untied and

he explained again the basic concept of placing a weapon to

your head and firing with the possibility that it would not kill you

and then passing it to the next person.

The officer reached for his phaser in the stack of his confiscated

goods but was stopped by a rough Klingon hand.

"Wait!" The Klingon grinned evilly as he said, "You're trying to

trick us. Well we're too smart for you."

The navigator's heart stopped as the Klingon paused and lifted

his blaster. "I'll go first!"

Whereupon, to the Russian's amazement the Klingon idiot

pointed the blaster to his head and fired. As the headless corpse

fell to the ground, the Russian lunged for the fallen weapon.

But alas, he was not fast enough. His arm was rudely twisted

behind his back by the second Klingon who leaned forward and

took the blaster from his fallen comrade's hand.

Laughing menacingly, the second Klingon said, "Hah! I am not

so stupid as you think. I know how this works. Now it's my turn!"

Karl

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

a dogs life
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the coffee machine
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good news dear!
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Employee appreciation Day
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/090901.htm

Amanda
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/09092.htm

Sex
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/09093.htm

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Random Chips
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At a rape trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what
the defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed
to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the
answer. After reading the note, the judge instructed the jury
foreman to read it and pass it among the rest of the jurors.

One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror
sitting next to him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm
going to fuck you like you've never been fucked before."

The juror smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his
pocket. "Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!"
ordered the judge.

"I can't, Your Honor," the juror answered. "It's personal."

The teacher was telling the class about plants that have the
word "dog" in front of them: dogrose, dogwood, dog violet.
She asked the class if they could name another flower with
the prefix "dog." Steven raised his hand and said, "Sure,
Miss Jones, a 'collie'flower!"

"A Brown University graduate student in biology is wanted now
for allegedly stealing a herpes virus from the university lab.
That's when you know you're a nerd, when you have to steal
the herpes virus instead of going out and catching it in the
wild like everyone else."
-Jay Leno

Q: What do the Chicago White Sox and Bobby Brown have in common?
A: Regular Houston beatings!

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Aqua Globes are gorgeous hand blown glass and are sure
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Little Johnny Chips
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In Little Johnny's classroom, the teacher gave the class a homework
assignment. She wanted them to tell the class one talent that they
had and that they were especially good at.

The next day the Teacher calls on Mary. Mary got up and said "I've
been taking piano lessons for 2 years. The teacher told Mary that
was very good.

After all of the other students told about their talent, the teacher
doesn't have a choice but to let Little Johnny have his turn. She
doesn't want to call on him because she is scared of what he is
going to say.

She asked Little Johnny to tell the class about his special talent.
He stood up and said, " This is my special talent". Then he stuck
his tongue out.

The teacher said, "Little Johnny, I don't understand." "How is your
tongue a special talent"?

Little Johnny said, "See this ball where my tongue is pierced? My
babysitter said that was a special talent because not every boy that
she baby sits for has a pussy grinder!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
rechargeable electric shaver.

The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.

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Short Chips
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A young pretty female schoolteacher had been telling her class about
the value of being observant and said, "Now children, look at the
clock; what does the clock have that I have too?"

One little girl stood up and said, "It has a face."

Another girl raised her hand and said, "It has hands."

"Splendid," said the teacher, "now what has the clock that I haven't
got?"

After a long silence, Little Johnny rose and said, "You ain't got no
pendulum, Miss."

Idiots Guide To Sex

If she wants to do it French, Russian or Greek, it doesn't mean you
have to go to Berlitz and learn the language.
-
"Faster, Harder, Deeper" is not the motto of the Olympics.

A Fallopian tube is not part of a TV set.

Membership of the Mile-High Club is void if you apply by yourself.

A clitoris is not something you order from a florist.

Contrary to popular belief, Grape Nuts is not a venereal disease.

If it doesn't make you smile: you AIN'T DOIN' IT RIGHT!

When she comes down wearing her most expensive body-stocking and
asks
you to come to bed, don't say you first want to check your e-mail.

KID: "Mother, doesn't God give us our daily bread?"

MOM: "Yes, dear."

KID: "And Santa brings us our toys at Christmas?"

MOM: "Yes, dear."

KID: "And the stork brings babies?"

MOM: "Why certainly, dear."

KID: "Then what's Dad hanging around for?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Job Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~Upstairs Downstairs on the Right College
~Simple Simian School of Tax Fraud
~Plagiarism Creative Writing College
~Degree Mill of Miami Beach

....researched by rubin

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Hillbilly Chips
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THE HILLBILLY VASECTOMY

After their 11th child, a hillbilly couple decided that was enough,
as
they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him
that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy
that
could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly
alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb,
(fireworks are legal in hillbilly country) light it, put it in a
beer
can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.'

The hillbilly said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in
the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can
next
to my ear is going to help me.'

'Trust me,' said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He
held the can up to his ear and began to count!
'1'
'2'
'3'
'4'
'5'
( you'll love this...)

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and
continued counting on his other hand.

This procedure works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Louisiana, Arkansas,
Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia,
Florida, West Virginia, North Carolina, Washington DC, and some
parts of Michigan.

Charlie

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Fairy Images
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Movies

wdrb
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We Need This Here
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What Every Man Wants In Bed http://www.buffaloschips.com/7812.htm

WHAT_HAPPENS_IN_SEAWORLD_STAYS_THERE
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What The Hells That
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Too Good
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6249.htm

Toom Bumper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62410.htm

Train Drives Thru Bangkok Market
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62411.htm

Training Goldfish
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7201.htm

If I Die Before You Wake
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Change Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young gay man is confronted by some of his friends and told that
he
may be drinking a bit too much and it seems like it may be getting
in
the way of his work and effecting some of his relationships. His
friends are concerned that he may need to seek help.

He took their feelings to heart and joined AA. At the end of a year

of dedication he is clean and sober and gets his "pin" showing his
progress (of one year being clean and sober).

He then thinks, he has wanted to stop smoking for awhile, could he
use
the same principles he used in AA to stop smoking? He sets himself
on
the path and does so.

By the second year when he gets his pin from AA, he is tobacco free,

and has a small dinner party to celebrate the fact. When he gets
together with his friends, they are amazed at what good health he is

in, and amazed that he is not only alcohol free but also tobacco
free. They applaud his dedication.

About a year later he has another dinner party and announces to all

his friends that he is "no longer gay." His straight friends as
well
as his gay friends are totally amazed at this. No one believes he
has
managed to change so much in is life.

"Did you do the same things you did to stop drinking and smoking?"
many asked. "Was it just a choice of lifestyle change?" others
asked. "Was it some type of religious revelation?" was even asked.

"No, nothing so drastic" he replied. "Its just when I quit smoking I

found everything tasted different."

Stan Kegel

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No Dinner
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/09094.htm

What's On a Mans Mind
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/09095.htm

Art Of Oral Sex
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So Kinky
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Anti-Theft
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Ass Transport
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Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the tale of Freddy Law
whose sexual equipment got jammed in the door.
By the time they freed him, he didn't feel well
for his private parts were mangled to hell.

They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew,
but when they arrived, there's nought they could do.
What a bad blow for Fred, condemned without choice,
to live with no sex and a high squeaking voice.

But lucky for Fred, so he wouldn't feel a fool,
some bright spark suggested a "Bionic Tool".
A smart new electric one, made out of brass,
though the batteries would have to be kept up his arse.

Now newly equipped and after a rest,
Fred thought he would put the tool to the test.
So finding a woman, the nearest one handy,
supplied her with drink and made her feel randy

She, without waiting, put her hand in Fred's flies,
as she felt what was there, gave a cry of surprise.
"That's my Bionic Chopper. Now lets have some fun".
"Cor blimey" she said, "It felt like a gun."

They both stripped quick and Fred entered her fast,
he turned up the control knob and gave her full blast.
They clung to each other as Fred's dick shook some more,
then they bounced off the bed and onto the floor.

Now the pace hotted up and they started to choke,
as the room became filled with blue dirty smoke.
With a bang Fred's left bollock shot up in the air,
and his other one went bonkety-bonk down the stair.

So back for repair went Fred full of woe,
Was this how his sex life was destined to go ?
To return to his doctor at the end of each shag
with his tool in his pocket and his balls in a bag ?

But they fixed up young Fred, made him manly again,
for they boosted his batteries with a flex from the main.
So if he cant get a girl, now poor Fred doesn't cry,
he just flicks on the switch and jerks himself dry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey,Buffalo,ya missed the DEFINITIVE definition of gross.It
is:You're
making oral love to a pregnant woman & a little hand grabs your
tongue! Keep up the great work,I love your column.Plumcrazy690.

TRUE FACT: Male sperm (Y) swim faster and die sooner than female
sperm (X), because female sperm contain heavier genetic material,
which slows them down but allows them to live longer.

THEREFORE: Males with longer penises tend to produce more male
offspring because they deposit the sperm closer to the egg and Y
sperm cells win the "sprint." Males with shorter penises tend to
have
more female offspring because sperm is deposited further from the
egg, Y sperm die off thus allowing X sperm to win the "marathon."

CONCLUSION: Look at your family. This tells you whether or not your
father had a big dick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grosse Pointe's swankiest watering place had rarely seen such
excitement as that evening when the suavely dressed young man jumped

up from his table and proclaimed, "There's five thousand dollars for

any woman in this place who'll let me fuck her my way." Pandemonium

reigned and the crowd stood aghast as the bartender, maitre d', and

manager forcibly ejected the young fellow. He sat morosely on the
curb
in font of the lounge, until a beautiful young woman slipped out of

the door, walked over to him, and asked if his offer still held. He

said it did, and they promptly took a cab to her apartment. There
she
quickly stripped and got into bed. As he lay down beside her, she
asked, "Incidentally, just what is your way?' "On credit," he
replied.

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1424

The Moving Pictures

Katie: Where oh where is my pink dress?

Sandi: Rudy, what are we going to do with this diva?

Rudy: Sigh, I guess we just do as we have done.

Diana: Okay, we will leave for the filming now. We will
take you guys along in case they need a dog for the background,
okay?

Katie: Me me me me.

BJ: They may not want a dog. We are taking you so you can
see how things work during filming.

Rudy: Thanks pops.

Sandi: Sure daddy, it will be fun.

Katie: I will simply die if I am not picked, simply die.

Diana: Into the van everyone.

Later at the set...

Diana is checking in with the producer...

Katie: Father how come you are not checking in?

BJ: Diana is the person of interest, I am simply a background
person, an extra.

Katie: Will she tell them about me?

BJ: If they need a dog, they will tell her.

A few minutes later.....

Diana: They do need a dog.

Katie: Thank you mother... I will never forget you when I am
a star.

Diana: Hold it, they want a special kind of dog.

Katie: I can be that special.

Diana: They want Rudy, a white dog.

Katie fuming: It is prejudice!!!!

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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