Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Today was a beautiful day and I took Sandy out shopping and
we sucked up some Vitamin D from the bright sun. It is a great
weekend, one last break before school starts, have a cookout
and contemplate how things have changed since unions were
formed. We have all enjoyed the benefits of shorter work weeks,
longer vacations, better health plans, and better working conditions
because of the efforts of people that took the tools of socialism
and modified to fit this unique nation. We have much to be thankful
for and unpaid debts of gratitude. Sometime tomorrow between
the fifth and sixth beer give a moment of silence and whispered
thanks to our fathers and neighbors who built the industry of our
nation.
Today 2008 is a different world. We cannot afford to lose the right
to organize or to form contracts. We also cannot afford to do business
as we did last century. We must incorporate technology in the
workplace
that we have invented and not allow our competitors to buy or steal
it and move anymore jobs to foreign soil. It is possible for us to
become
the best paid, most productive nation in the world again and buy
back our country.
We are facing landfall of possibly the most destructive hurricane
in many years. Many indications are that we have learned our lessons
well from Katrina. We mobilized instead of taking a wait and see
attitude. Evacuation is near completed with troops in place to prevent
the looting that occurred last time along with providing rescue
services
after things quiet down. Those of you who believe in a higher power
please say a prayer for those in the path.
Enjoy the chips and Happy Labor Day
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint
the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and
gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught
about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts
on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When
they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their
predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like
this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like
that."
------------
After deciding that their frail, elderly mother can no longer live
alone, a family brings her to a nursing home, hoping she'll be well
cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe the old woman, feed her
a tasty breakfast, and sit her in a chair at a window overlooking a
lovely flower garden. She seems fine, but after a while she slowly
starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses
immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she
seems fine, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side.
The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes
on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is
adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating
you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except
they won't let you fart."
------------
Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window
seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a
physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys.
The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling
in when the attorney in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up
and get a coke. "No problem," said the physician, "I'll get it for
you." While he was gone, one of the attorneys picked up the
physician's shoe and spat in it. When the physician returned with the
coke, the other attorney said, "That looks good, I think I'll have
one too." Again, the physician obligingly went to fetch it and while
he was gone, the other attorney picked up the other shoe and spat in
it. The Physician returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the
flight. As the plane was landing, the physician slipped his feet into
his shoe sand knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this
go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This
hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
------------
Two country doctors out in the hills of West Virginia were discussing
the population explosion in the world. One physician says, "Why,
Bubba, thiseyer crazy birth thang isa gettin' so bad that perty soon,
they ain't gonna be room for ever'body! There'sa gonna be standin'
room only on this here planet!" The other doctor replied, "Heck, that
sure oughta slow 'em down a bit!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Don't be Afraid
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Two point navigational system
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No more pet names
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Sex on head
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Faking It
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Welcome To Ontario
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drug Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drug use, the legal drugs...
Prescription drugs should be kept far out of
reach of children, even if they cry, "Please,
please, may I have my medicine?"
Some people say you should not exceed the
recommended dosage on the bottle. But,
come on, it's medicine-it'
Stay away from that Lipitor shit. It's like
hosting a Filipino drag-queen knife fight in
your skull.
If you take medication daily, a useful
accessory is a seven-day pill case, which
helps you keep track of your intake and
serves as a depressing symbol of your
mortality.
If the pharmacist says your prescription
will take 45 minutes to an hour to fill, say
"Oh, no," and fall over dead.
Never mix prescription painkillers with alcohol,
unless you like to party really, really hard.
Most people don't realize how much pharmacists
enjoy haggling over the price of medications.
To reduce the risk of mix-ups at the pharmacy,
bring a bat with a nail in it.
Most pills should not be taken on an empty
stomach. Sprinkle a handful onto a salad.
If your pharmacist doesn't offer to have one
with you right there in the store, the shit's
probably no good.
If you are ever in doubt about the safety of a
particular medication, consult a qualified physician.
He will be happy to pooh-pooh your concerns.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher by the
vice-principal was finished, the vice-principal took a few puffs on
his pipe and said, "I have an informal piece of advice for you, Miss
Bell. There's only one way you can get along in this school without
submitting to the sexual advances of the principal."
"Oh my God! Well, errr, what is that?"
"I'll explain it, " he continued, "as soon as you've undressed."
A husband and wife were celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary,
And the media was there to document the occasion. One of the
reporters asked the secret to their successful marriage and longevity.
The wife replied that they had never been sick. The young reporter
was astonished and to confirm said, "So, you've never been bedridden."
And the wife quickly replied, "Oh, 1000's of times, and twice in a
buggy."
Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night and Hillary wakes up
and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. "Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill stays sleeping.
Hillary continues, "Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill finally wakes up and says, "What do you want?"
Hillary responds, "I have to go use the bathroom."
To which Bill says, "Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to
tell me you have to go to the bathroom."
Hillary says, "No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."
A rich lady is riding along with her chauffeur when they get a flat
tire. He gets out and starts trying to pry off the hubcap. After he
struggles a few minutes, she looks out at him and says, 'You wanna
screwdriver?
He says, 'We might as well. I can't get this freaking hubcap off'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Grilling!
Summer is a great time for backyard barbecues with family and
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But before you fire up the grill this year, consider replacing some
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chief Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The old Chief finally retired from the Navy and got that chicken
ranch he always wanted. He took with him his lifelong pet parrot.
First morning at 0430, the parrot squawked and said, "Off yer hocks
and don yer socks. Reveille"
The old chief told the parrot, "we are no longer in the Navy. Go back
to sleep." The next morning, the parrot did the same thing. The old
Chief told the parrot, "Look, if you keep this up, I will put you out
in the chicken pen."
Again the parrot did it, and true to his word, the Chief put the
parrot in the chicken pen. About 0630, the Chief was awakened by one
heck of a ruckus in the chicken pen. He went out to see what was the
matter.
The parrot had about 40 white chickens in formation and on the ground
lay 3 bruised and beaten brown ones. The parrot was saying, "By God,
when I say fall out in dress whites, I don't mean fucking Khakis!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contest Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and his wife were talking and he says, "You know, I was thinking
of going down to the bar tonight and entering that big-dick contest."
"Oh honey," she exclaims, "I don't want you taking that out in
public!"
"But sweet thing," he says, "the prize is $100!"
"I don't care," she says, "I don't want you showing that thing to
everybody."
So he lets the subject drop until the following night when his wife
walks in on him in the bedroom, counting out a hundred dollars. "Did
you go down and enter that big-dick contest last night after I told
you
not to?"
"Please forgive me, sweetheart," he says.
"You mean you took that thing out for everybody to see?" she says,
tears welling up in her eyes.
The man looks at her fondly and says, "Only enough to win."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello young lovers! Has this ever happened to you?
You and your sweetie have finally gotten off by yourselves. You find
yourself at Inspiration Point or some cozy lovers lane and things are
really getting hot! You reach in your glove compartment and oh no!
No condoms!
Well your next move is to ruin the moment by driving to a convenience
store, humiliating yourself by getting change, then rushing into the
restroom to the "Love Machine" to buy one while some weirdo watches
you
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A River Runs Through
http://silverandgol
Ken w/ He's All I Need
http://gospelman.
John w/ Life's Railway To Heaven
http://heavens-
Judy w/ How To Forgive
http://frommyheart2
Judy w/ I Have Learned
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Judy w/ I Once Was Lost
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Surfin Surfari
Howstuffworks "Why do we celebrate Labor Day?"
http://www.howstuff
Labor Day
http://www.geocitie
U.S. DOL - The History of Labor Day
http://www.dol.
Labor Day Fun Facts, Recipes, Barbecue & Party Ideas
http://www.chiff.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Labor Day Printables - Labor Day Wordsearch
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The Labor day - Greetings, history, wallpapers and more
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How Disc Drives Work
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Judy w/ Labor day History
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Judy w/ Labor Day Dreams
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Movies
How to think like a woman
http://www.buffalos
How to wash your cat
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I love my car
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I feel good
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If I was a terrorist
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Subtittles
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Super Scooper
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Super Sinek
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Super Tounge
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Surprise
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Survey Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
According to a 1999 survey by the Scott Paper Company:
* You can gauge a person's education by whether they read in the
bathroom.
* More than 2/3 of the people with a master's degree and doctorates
read in the stall.
* Only one in two high school grads read while in the bathroom, and
56 percent of those with college degrees do.
* Fifty four percent of Americans fold their toilet tissue neatly
while 35 percent wad it into a ball before using it.
* Seven percent steal rolls of toilet paper (hotels/motels)
* More than sixty percent prefer that their toilet paper roll over
the top, twenty nine percent from the bottom. The rest don't care.
What does all this mean? It means we Americans don't have anything
better to think about than wiping our ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Older women
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Condom
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New Hooters Calendar
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Doctor
http://www.buffalos
politics explained
http://www.thepostm
hey Kenny
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why do you dress like that?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'LL GIVE YOU $100 IN FREE GAS
Just for letting me show you HOW TO CUT YOUR GAS COSTS BY 20%
I will reveal the money-saving secrets the oil companies don't want
you to know and let you in on the fuel additive I discovered that can
Save $10 every time you fill your tank!
It's all at my web site
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See you at the site,
Brandon Zundel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lascivious fellow called Lees
Loved to give his poor cock a long squeeze.
This continual friction
Made real sex a mere fiction,
But the callous hung down to his knees.
____________
There was a young maid from Aberystwyth,
Who took grain to the mill to make grist with.
The miller's son, Jack,
Threw her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with.
____________
A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with whom, and to whom.
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The administration of this particular elementary school decided to
start a more inclusive policy on which words were "bad" words. Among
those initiated to the category was "suck" (when not referring to the
principle of suction).
One day a child came up to the teacher to inform her that one of the
other students had said a bad word.
"What was the bad word he said?" asked the teacher.
"I can't say it."
"It's okay to tell me; you won't get in trouble for it."
"No, it's too bad, I don't want to say it."
"Well I have to know what he said in order to punish him. Can you
tell me what it is without saying it?"
"Well... it rhymes with 'fuck'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is BIG: You can save up to 60% on gas each year
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Of course not. You'd probably pump billions in advertising
and media so people would dismiss this possibility right
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They are using mind control techniques to brain wash you!
But, it IS possible and the proof is there.
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Go to
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's a new interview out with Jessica Alba. She explains why her
baby girl is named Honor. A lot of celebrities name their baby after
where the baby was conceived. Honor is named Honor because Jessica
was "on her" back when she was conceived.
Ray
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1408
A Minor Misunderstanding
BJ Comes home and finds Rudy pouting in one corner of the basement,
Katie pouting in the other corner, each with a black eye and each has
a few band-aids covering some cuts.
BJ: Sandi what happened?
Sandi in her calm voice: They were discussing traveling with you on
your
motorcycle after it is repaired and decided to build a sidecar. Rudy
wanted
to build a white sidecar to match the motocycle and his hair and Katie
wanted to build a red one to offset the bike and match her hair.
Well, the
discussion became rather heated and one thing led to another.
BJ: I see, then they fought?
Sandi: No, they went into the laboratory to build their sidecars.
After they
were done, I had to explain to them that a motorcycle can only have
one
sidecar....that is when the stuff hit the fan. Two sidecars, one
motorcycle,
two dogs, room for one. While they were physically discussing the
matter,
I went into the laboratory and worked on a compromise.
BJ: Which is?
Sandi: A sort of Trike version. You can disconnect it and re-
connect it in
minutes. It actually will make your bike have four wheels. This
thing has
two wheels and can hold us three doggies and has a small trunk in the
back. I believe it will give you about 60 percent better stability
than a
sidecar with more room.
BJ: I will consider it. Remember it will be many months before the
bike
is road ready, then I will have to get myself road ready, then we
will go
from there.
Sandi: I understand daddy. I just didn't want Rudy and Katie left
out.
BJ: Good girl. Now I guess I need to try and heal these wounds.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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1 comment:
My name is Janice Still and i would like to show you my personal experience with Lipitor.
I have taken for 2 years. I am 56 years old. Lipitor worked great lowering cholesterol but the side effects are not worth the benefit.
I have experienced some of these side effects-
Achilles peritendonitis and sore ankles, knees and fingers. Stiffness was aggravated by rest and better with activity. After sitting for 15 minutes, particularly with feet elevated, and then getting up to walk, my gait was like someone who could barely walk. Have stopped taking Lipitor and symptoms seem to be subsiding.
I hope this information will be useful to others,
Janice Still
Lipitor Side Effects
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