THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! "To be independent of public opinion is the first formal condition of achieving anything great."George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel  Mighty Putty is a super powered epoxy that does it all. Mold to any shape and apply to any surface for an everlasting bond. From your smallest craft to your largest home improvement, Mighty Putty will get the job done. Simply cut, activate, apply --- and let it dry. - Build, restore & repair - Fix, fill or seal almost any surface - Support up to 350lbs - Sand it, paint it, drill it Buy now and we'll triple your order, Free! http://www.thepostm  Kellogg's NUTRIGRAIN Cereal Bars, FREE* SAMPLE! Select your Favorite Flavor - 16 Bars in each box FREE*! GIVE YOURSELF A BOOST in the morning or any time of the day with a quick & convenient Kellogg's NUTRIGRAIN Bar. This calcium enriched fruit cereal bar is great to grab on-the-go and you can get 16 right NOW in your favorite flavor for FREE*! To receive a sample shipped directly to your door,where you sample & purchase products of interest http://www.thepostm  FREE* LEVER 2000 SAMPLES! NEW LEVER 2000 Body Wash & Body Bars Start your morning with a moisturizing rain shower! SAMPLE NEW LEVER 2000 Body Wash & Deodorant Bars in Refresh, Pure Rain scent. Formulated with essential minerals PLUS Vaseline Lotion ingredients even the toughest dry skin hasn't the slightest chance! http://www.thepostm  PANTENE Pro-V FREE* Samples • NEW! PANTENE Pro-V Restoratives Time Renewal SHAMPOO • NEW! Pantene Pro-V Restoratives Time Renewal CONDITIONER Try NEW PANTENE Pro-V Restoratives Time Renewal Shampoo & Conditioner, FREE*. The multi-pro-vitamin system restores up to 2 years of hair-styling damage in just 1 month. http://www.thepostm There are a lot of interesting questions associated with life. For example, I'm sure you have asked yourself whether your mom ever gave your dad a BJ, right? Well, here is a question that I bet you never thought of!!!  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS I forgot http://www.thepostm whats the difference http://www.thepostm a good sex life http://www.thepostm Columbus was lost http://www.thepostm obedience school http://www.thepostm the parrot http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES the human slinky http://www.thepostm tootsie roll pops, from the 60s http://www.thepostm pepsodent toothpaste, from the 50s http://www.thepostm mini club man http://www.thepostm another candid camera http://www.thepostm bartender hates u http://www.thepostm old guys rule http://www.thepostm A fellow drank with friends until they closed the bar. He staggered home about 2 o'clock and was met at the door by his wife. She was madder than heck and wanted to know where he had been all night.... He said, "I have been bird watching!" She said, "Bullshit! What kind of bird is out at this time of night for you to watch??"He said, "A double breasted, red-headed, mattress thrasher!" ____________ Three whores were comparing notes about their customers from the night before. "I fucked a cowboy last night", said the first. "How did you know he was a cowboy?" asked the second. "Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and kept both the hat and the boots on all the time we were screwing." "Sounds like a cowboy, all right," the others agree. "I fucked a lawyer," announced the second. "I could tell because he wore a three piece suit and packed a briefcase. He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to the briefcase all the time we were fucking." They all agreed he sounded like a lawyer. "I fucked a grain farmer," commented the third. "How could you possibly know he was a grain farmer?" one asked. "First he complained it was too dry, then he whined it was too wet, then he asked if he could pay me in the fall." ____________ Hop Sing was a cook on the Ponderosa Ranch. All the cowboys loved to poke fun at him because, being Chinese, he had a pigtail and wore a funny hat. He also couldn't speak English very well. The cowboys used to put live snakes and frogs in his bed and pulled on his pigtail, just to tease him. Hop Sing, however, never complained and kept on working. He was a good sport. One day, the cowboys got together and said, "This Hop Sing is really a nice guy, we shouldn't be so mean to him." They decided to apologize to him for the many years of abuse. They went to Hop Sing as a group and said, "Hop Sing, we are very sorry for being so mean to you throughout the years. You are really a nice guy. From now on, we are going to be nice to you. There will be no more pigtail-pullin' and there will be no more snakes in your bed." "Good, good," said Hop Sing, overjoyed. "No more snake in the bed, then no more piss in the soup!" ____________ A man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter. He asks her to "go downtown" so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his genitals, looking and tipping her head this way and that, studying the whole business. After about five minutes of this, he asked her in a sort of peeved voice "Well, just what are you doing?" She replied, "I'm doing what I always do when I'm downtown with no money -just looking." ____________ One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a big decision! Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah,... and they're in favor 15 to 2." _______ The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday. When Saturday arrived, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic after all, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness. "Why, what's the matter, honey? I thought you'd be happy to go to the picnic." her mother said. "It's too late!" the little girl replies sarcastically, "I've already prayed for rain!" ___________ A woman from Pennsylvania was taking her first car trip to Arizona and was asking a few friends for advice. A friend of hers made an observation, "People in Arizona don't drive the speed limit, they drive the temperature. ____________ Fun pages from Lorraine Werewolf Boy Seeks Cure http://tinyurl. Deodorant Commercial Accurate http://tinyurl. Insane Dog http://tinyurl. Daily Orgasm http://tinyurl. He never calls http://able2laugh. Nice nursing staff http://able2laugh. R U Ready 4 Anything? http://able2laugh. Buffalo Bill Mad Cow Disease Symptoms http://buffalosjoke Heimlich Maneuver http://buffalosjoke Morning Poem http://buffalosjoke THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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