Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The first day of school is past. Hopefully the school bus picked up
your child in the morning and managed to return him or her after
school in a reasonable length of time. Now if your child hasn't lost
his books already and is willing to give day number two a try, you
are all set.
The next big hurdle you are going to encounter is Open House. In
grades 7-12 it always began in the school auditorium with an
introduction to the new teachers for the year. It was easy to spot
them, no grey hairs, no nervous twitches, and a smile on their
faces. They would never look quite that same way again.
The parents then received their child's class schedule and a map of
the school. The next couple of hours was divided into 6 segments
fifteen minutes long with a 5 minute break in between to run from one
end of the school to the other. When you found the class there was
really no time to meet the teacher. Little Jimmy and Susie's mom
were up there telling the teacher how much their child loved the
teacher and asking what kind of extra credit they could do to get an
A+ in the class. All you wanted to do was tell the teacher they
might consider easing up on the homework because you had discovered a
cloth doll dressed as the teacher in your child's closet with three
inch stick pins sticking from its head and joints. You feel sorry as
you see the teacher limping and complaining from a headache but
refrain from talking to the teacher because they might expel your
child for violating the Voodoo rules and then you will be stuck with
them for 24 hours a day.
Finally after two hours it is all over and then comes the high point
of the day, punch and cookies in the cafeteria and you say good-bye
to your child's school until the end of the marking period or till
the principal or police ask you to come in and discuss your child's
behavior.
Of course this was slightly exaggerated and none of the above events
actually occurred, or did they. Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at
midnight? She wanted to get a dark tan.
What does a blonde think an innuendo is? An Italian suppository.
Did you hear about the blonde virgin who wasn't upset about losing
her cherry? She figured she could always get a new one, since she
still had the box it came in.
What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? If you
throw a load in a washing machine, it doesn't follow you around for 3
days.
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
So she could lip read.
Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common? All
you have to do is scratch the box to win.
What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the
bowl? "Just flush it like everybody else does."
Hear about the blonde explorer?
She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara
Desert.
How can you tell if the blonde is a nurse?
She can make a patient without disturbing the bed.
What does a blonde have in common with the United States Army?
They're open to any man between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Fishing With Moses
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
Surfing
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
Mechanics
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crab Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night, a horny old geezer decides to get
himself a hooker.Since the man doesn't have
much money, he looks for the cheapest whore
in the nearest Red Light District. A short while
later, he finds what he's looking for and spends
$10 on her.
The next morning, the old geezer wakes up and
discovers he has crabs.So, he gets dressed and
heads down to where he had been the night before.
He notices the same hooker on the street corner,
so he marches over to her and says,"Hey, lady,
you gave me crabs!"
The hooker replies, "Hey, old man, what did you
expect for $10? Lobster?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sailing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two ship captains were sitting at the bar one night getting good and
lit when one turned to the other and said, "You know what gets me,
though, is these damn sailors! Oh sure, they're fine for the first
few weeks, but on those three-month trips at sea they start getting
pretty hard up. With all the whacking off going on, it's a wonder any
work is getting done, and it's making a mess all over the ship. I
don't know what to do!"
The other captain smiles knowingly at his companion. "Oldest trick in
the book. You take the crew and divide them into two teams, then you
buy about 50 barrels and put them on the ship. You tell the crew that
the team that fills the most barrels wins a bag of gold."
"Well that's a great way to keep the ship clean, but then I'm out a
bag of gold every trip!"
"Not so," replied the other captain. "After you get back to port,
take all the barrels together and sell them to the wax factory to
make into candles. You make a tidy profit every time."
The captain pondered this and the next day, he took his friend's
advice and divided the crew, bought a bunch of barrels, and set off
to sea. Before long, the crew took to the new system and began
filling barrel after barrel. When they finally reached port, the
captain sold the barrels for a huge profit. 'This is great,' thought
the captain, 'before long, I'll be able to buy a new boat!'
This went on, voyage after voyage. Then one day, the ship happened
back to that very first port. Coming down the gangplank, the captain
was surprised to see the cops waiting for him. As they slapped the
cuffs on him, the captain cried out "What's the meaning of this?!"
"You sick bastard," replied the cop. "Remember all those barrels you
sold to the candle factory last time you passed through town?"
"Sure," said the captain. "What about 'em?!"
"Well, they made them into candles, sold them to the convent, and now
all the nuns are pregnant!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Contraceptive Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ernie says, "Dis is a 2 quart termos bottle."
Rich says, "Ya, I have to get me one."
That night Rich goes home, but forgets what it is called again. Well
Rich really wants one of these things. So he decides the next day when
he asks he's going to write it down so he remembers what it is.
The next day they are down in the mine working again and the noon
whistle blows for lunch and Ernie pulls out his thermos of hot coffee.
Rich looks at it and says, "Say, Ernie, vat you got dere?"
Well, by this time Ernie's getting pretty upset. Every day Rich asks
what it is and never remembers so he decides to just make up stuff
since
Rich isn't going to remember anyway.
So Ernie says, "Dis is a contraceptive.
Rich says, "Ya, I have to get me one." And he writes it down. That
night Rich is in the neighborhood drug store and the pharmacist sees
him
walking around and says to him, "Can I help you?"
Rich says, "Ya, I'd like a contraceptive.
And the pharmacist says, "Sure, what size?"
Rich says, "Give me da 2 quart size, I'll be working in da hole all
day!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Grilling!
Summer is a great time for backyard barbecues with family and
friends.
But before you fire up the grill this year, consider replacing some
of
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Each of these recipes is not only delicious it's packed with
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honeymoon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bridegroom carried his bride over the threshold and into their
honeymoon suite. They had taken off all their clothes, when suddenly
the
sweet young thing begins to temble uncontrolably. "What's the matter,
honey?" he asked in a concerned voice. She was now shivering all over.
I've got an attack of St. Vitus Dance," she said. The groom thought
about it for a few moments, then picked up the phone and called the
bell
captain for help. Four bellboys came rushing into the room. "Quick!
You
grab her arms," the young man shouted to two of them. To the other
two,"
Grab her legs and hold her tight." He leaped into the bed on top of
her,
slid his penis inside her, and then shouted to the bellboys, " Okay,
fellows, let her go!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to a surgeon and convinces him that he wants to have the
experience of having a baby.
"Impossible,
"But I need that experience," insists the man.
Eventually the surgeon agrees, and tells the man to come back next
day for the operation.
Next day he is put out and operated on. When he comes around he asks
the surgeon if the operation was successful.
"Yes, perfect."
"When will I have the experience of having a baby?" asks the man.
"Just as soon as you have drunk this pint of olive oil," says the
surgeon.
"How's that going to give me the experience?"
"Because I have sewn up your ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Our Kitchen
http://silverandgol
Carol w/ Omen
http://www.carolspo
Bell w /He's Led All The Way
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The SFGTD Box
http://www.youtube.
Carolyn w/ Dream Lover
http://carolynsprec
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Surfin Surfari
Military photos . net
http://www.military
Chocolate Covered Bacon
http://www.msnbc.
Earwax
http://www.msnbc.
Pray for Katie...
http://www.snopes.
AND Her Site...
http://www.katiefit
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Google Browser
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Intro to Linux
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Midi Music
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
Carolyn w/ Talking Dogs
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Bucky and The Beagle
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Movies
Jihadist Trainees
http://www.buffalos
Jingle Balls
http://www.buffalos
Kangaroo
http://www.buffalos
Pancakes
http://www.buffalos
Paris breaks out
http://www.buffalos
Taxi Please
http://www.buffalos
Ten Quarters Ten Glasses One Throw
http://www.buffalos
Trucks
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clinton Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clinton Meets New Interns
Two new young interns are hired in the White House. They are walking
down
the hall when President Clinton sees them. The President walks up and
says,
"Gee, I've never come across your faces before."
Red Ring Around Clinton's Collar
While undressing for bed one night, good ole Bill notices something
like a
red rash around his you know what. Alarmed, he thinks, "I can't let
Hillary
see this!" He makes an appointment to see his doctor at Bethesda
Naval
Hospital, the very next day. "Doc," he says, "I've got this red ring
around
my, you know. What is it and how do I get rid of it?" The doctor
says,
"Well, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but take these pills for a
week, and
see if that takes care of it. If not, come back and we'll try
something
else." Bill takes the pills for a week but unfortunately, the red
ring is
still there after 7 days. He goes back to the doctor and tells him
the pills
didn't help. So the doctor prescribes another medication, capsules
this
time, and gives him the same instructions. Take them for a week, and
come
back if it's not improved. He takes the capsules for a week, and
damn, the
red ring is still there! So he goes back to the doctor and
asks, "What
next?" The doctor gives him a cream in a tube this time. "Rub this on
every
day for a week and let me know. "Bill goes back in a week and
says, "Great
news Doc! The rash is gone! That stuff in the tube was wonderful!
What was
it?" The doctor replied, "Lipstick remover."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suggestion
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Tap Dancer
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Do not Disturb
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Trouser
http://www.buffalos
exact counts
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protection
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you didn't tell me
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'LL GIVE YOU $100 IN FREE GAS
Just for letting me show you HOW TO CUT YOUR GAS COSTS BY 20%
I will reveal the money-saving secrets the oil companies don't want
you to know and let you in on the fuel additive I discovered that can
Save $10 every time you fill your tank!
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See you at the site,
Brandon Zundel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady named Hall
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught on fire,
And burned her entire,
Front page, sporting section, and all.
* ************
Jack and Jill went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass,
and grabbed her ass;
And now his two front teeth are missing.
* ************
There was an old spinster called Maude
At whom everyone laughed and guffawed;
Until handsome young Bert,
Noticed a tent in her skirt,
Which revealed she was really a Claude.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Virgin Maria received a gift from God for services rendered two
millennia ago. She was given the gift of reincarnation on earth for
one week. The only stipulation was that she had to telephone God
every night while she was on earth. The first night, she called back
and said, "Hi, God, this is the Virgin Maria. Today, I got drunk."
God replied, "That is not so good. You must promise to never do that
again." And so she did. The second night, she called back and
said, "Hi, God, this is the Virgin Maria. Today, I smoked marijuana."
God replied, "That is not so good. You must promise to never do that
again." And so she did. The third night, she called back and
said, "Hi, God, this is Maria."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is BIG: You can save up to 60% on gas each year
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"Hell Yeah", is the answer.
But then why do so few people know about this?
I mean, think about it... If you owned a trillion dollar Fortune 500
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Of course not. You'd probably pump billions in advertising
and media so people would dismiss this possibility right
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They are using mind control techniques to brain wash you!
But, it IS possible and the proof is there.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How much for the cow?
Once there was a man who was in love with a beautiful woman and he
wanted to
marry her. The woman told him that before they could get married he
would
have to ask her father, who was a farmer. So the next day the man
went to
the farmer and said, "Sir I love your daughter very much and I would
like to
ask for her hand in marriage." The farmer sat there and looked at him
for a
moment and said, "I will let you marry her, but first you must
complete a
test." Willing to do anything to be able to marry the girl the man
agreed.
The farmer said, "first you must jump the fence, swim the river and
screw
the cow in the barn." The man thought that it sounded easy enough so
he did
it. When he got finished he asked the farmer, "Ok now can I marry
your
daughter?" The farmer couldn't believe that the man had actually done
those
things and thinking it was funny he told the man to do it again! So
the man
jumped the fence, swam the river, and screwed the cow, again! When he
was
finished the man went back to the farmer and asked "Now may I marry
your
daughter?" By this time the farmer was amazed that the man did all
that a
second time, and wondered if he would do it a third, so the farmer
said, "Ok
if you do all that one more time I will let you marry my daughter."
So the
man did it again. He jumped the fence, swam, the river, and scre wed
the
cow. When he came back to the farmer this time, the farmer said, "Ok
now you
can marry my daughter." The man said, "To hell with you daughter how
much do
you want for the cow?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1410
Football Fever!!
Rudy: Pro!
Katie: College!
Sandi: High School!
BJ: What is the argument?
Sandi: We are discussing our favorite arena of football venue.
Rudy: I love pro football,,,ho-
Katie: I adore the college scene it is so pure.
Sandi: And I like the enthusiasm of high school football.
Diana: Oh boy... this is tough.
Rudy: I know my Toots loves pro-ball right Toots?
Diana: Err-ah, actually, I only follow my college team and our local
high school team.
Katie/Sandi: Right!!
Rudy: Pops?
BJ shuffling his feet: I follow a few college teams and our local
high school team as well.
Sandi and Katie high five each other... Slap!
Rudy: A-roo!
BJ: There there Rudy, we just have our favorites. There is
absolutely
nothing wrong with you liking pro ball over college and high school
ball.
Rudy: A-rooo?
Diana: Yes, you keep on a-rooing for your favorite team.
BJ: Who is your team?
Rudy: The Georgia Bulldogs.
BJ: Ah Rudy, they are a college team.
Rudy: A-Rooo!!!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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