THE POSTMAN'S CORNER A little honey is good for your health unless your wife finds out.  Claim Your FREE* 3 Boxes of Stouffer's Frozen Dinners http://www.thepostm  Get your FREE* Sample of Oreo Cakesters (Soft Snack Cakes) http://www.thepostm  PEPSI or DIET PEPSI Vote for the Better Beverage & get 12 Cases FREE*! http://www.thepostm Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.' So - if you give her crap, you will receive a bucket full of shit. Love and appreciate all the women in your life. I am making some improvements in my office. I am quite sure this will be a tremendous aid in the daily production of The Postman's Corner. There fore, I am seeking your support in donations to help finance this new device. your help will be appreciated!  We do hope you enjoy today's issue Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS final warning http://www.thepostm support groups http://www.thepostm Lucky and his experience http://www.thepostm I get your drift http://www.thepostm bird watching http://www.thepostm we still got it http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES revenge http://www.thepostm foolish people http://www.thepostm British humor-power point display http://www.thepostm Guinness book of world records-power point display http://www.thepostm its too low-power point display http://www.thepostm Mary: Do you know that old saying that goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"? Jill: Yeah, what about it? Mary: I've revised it for my own purposes. "Fuck up once, shame on you. Fuck up twice, you're history!" ____________ The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous. "A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert.An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it. "The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactlyWhen we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Australians fishing off it." ____________ A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card. The reservation specialist asked him, "Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?" The customer carefully replied, "V-I-S-A." ____________ When Felix, the regional sales manager for a machine tools company, got home from the office, his wife couldn't help noticing that his tie was loose, his fly unzipped, his hair disheveled, he smelled of perfume, and his collar was covered with lipstick. "Rough day at the office" she commented. "Not too bad," he said nonchalantly. "Had to break in a new sales associate, but I think she'll work out." "Does she take shorthand" asked his wife. " No," blurted Felix, "but she gives it." ____________ The night was dark when two men came up to the run-down cabin in Southern Georgia and kicked against the door. "Say, you all right, C.Lee?" said Jud. "We found a body by the creek, and we kinda thought it might be you." "What'd the fella look like?" asked C.Lee. "Sorta like you, C.Lee. A no-account." "Have on shoes?" "Yep." "Overalls?" "Yep." "Shirt?" "Yep." "Was he shaved?" "Seems like he were." "Twarn't me, then." ____________ Buffalo Bill Don't be Afraid http://www.buffalos Two point navigational system http://www.buffalos No more pet names http://www.buffalos Sex on head http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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