THE POSTMAN'S CORNER When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.  Pick your favorite topping. Get $250 in Papa John's(R) Gift Cards, FREE http://www.thepostm  Yum-O! Get cooking with your FREE Rachael Ray(TM) chef's packagage including a 10 pc. Hard Anodized Cookware Set, 6 pc. Gusto Grip Knife Set in a Bamboo Block, plus 2 Rachael Ray(TM) Cookbooks. Just click below! http://www.thepostm  Lucky charms! GET 2 BOXES FREE*! The Very First Toasted Oats & Marshmallow Cereal. Moons, stars, hearts, and clovers. Start your morning with a bowl of those magical marshmallow bits. Simply select your favorite flavor LUCKY CHARMS & get 2 FREE* BOXES delivered to your door! Now that's what we call lucky. http://www.thepostm The war department and me were out shopping the other night and she sees this sign. The Future told by the great Psychic! She says, "Pull over Martin, lets get our future told to us." Now I am not a great believer in such psychic stuff, but somehow she was persistent enough and so, I pulled over. We get out of the car, walk up to this tent by the side of the road, and this midget greeted us, saying, "To hear your future it will cost you 20 bux." Well I value my cash a little more than that, but still the war department was persistent, so I paid up and we went in. You know what? The tent was empty! Not a soul around! So we go rushing back outside and discover that the midget had split with our 20 bux! The war department called 911 on the phone, and it was not long before the police showed up. He asked for a description, and you know what he said? "Ok we will put out a all points bulletin for a short medium at large!" (don't you hate when I tell stupid ones like that? hehehe) And a letter from a postman fan: Dear postman: My friend got a free cook book from the postman. Is that still available? I would like to get one too! Jane Hello Jane! Yes you can still get a free cook book. Its pretty cool. I posted the offer below for you. The Postman FREE COOK BOOK  8 Featured Budget Friendly Recipes! Check out this FREE Cookbook with 8 delicious recipes like Fired Chicken, Broccoli Bake, Baked Zucchini, BBQ Pork Ribs and more. Complete the information below to log-in and view this cookbook now and others from our free library. http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS will he really protect you? http://www.thepostm comin my way http://www.thepostm taking a shower http://www.thepostm chasing cats http://www.thepostm higher court http://www.thepostm Oprah recruits for Obama http://www.thepostm sexual harrasment http://www.thepostm going for four http://www.thepostm Its from Osama http://www.thepostm ____________ Why didn't I think of that?  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES in the african plains http://www.thepostm Brazillian candid camera http://www.thepostm the blind man trick http://www.thepostm the back flip http://www.thepostm the guard dog http://www.thepostm Power point displays color my world http://www.thepostm Cool stuff  ____________ Little Johnny paints a sign that reads: "WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A DIME." He tells his buddy Roy to get his wagon and both sit under a shade tree in Johnny's front yard, waiting for business. Kathy, across the street is not to be outdone, so she paints a bigger sign that reads:"WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A NICKEL." She tells her friend Nellie to get her wagon, and they both sit in front of Kathy's yard.Johnny' Then, a flash and Johnny hauls Roy across the street saying, "Let's get some laughs." "Say, Kathy, you move ANYTHING?" "Give me a nickel and I'll prove it to you." "Roy, give me your nickel!" Johnny takes it and hands it to Kathy. "What you want moved, boy?" "Move my BOWELS!" Johnny said and starts laughing. So Kathy kicked the shit out of him. ____________ It was the young Englishman's first visit to Las Vegas and, in his innocence, he sought lodging in the city's red-light district. His money, however, was as green as his outlook, and the madam gladly offered him a room for the night. When a friend questioned him about his accommodations over lunch the following day, the young Briton replied, "Well, the room was very pretentious, you know, but gad, what maid service!" ____________ A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now." ____________ Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he Wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumbags And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self- centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy. And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and shove it ____________ A little girl walked into the bathroom, saw her father in the shower, and ran to her mother screaming, "Mommy, Mommy! Daddy has a big worm hanging out of his wee-wee!" "That isn't a worm, sweetheart," said her mother reassuringly. "That's part of your daddy's body, and a very important part. If your daddy didn't have one of those, you wouldn't be here." Pausing thoughtfully, the woman added, "And come to think of it...neither would I." Buffalo Bill Morning After 4 http://www.buffalos Morning After 5 http://www.buffalos Morning After 6 http://www.buffalos PAPA THORN Pudding Dessert http://able2laugh. Fun pages from Lorraine Man Reads 2 Papers In Bathroom http://tinyurl. Rocket Rally http://tinyurl. Bus to Hell http://tinyurl. Gorgeous Person Day http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
.
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment