Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
We seem to be missing Mr BJ Cassady who is
either sick or Hollywood has asked him to star in a movie of his own.
From the Archives
Last night on the History Channel I caught a show that sure brought
back some great memories. They were recounting the history of
refueling ships at sea from the early days when ships basically
carried only enough fuel to get them from port to port. That is fine
if you are an aircraft carrier with millions of gallons of boiler
fuel and aircraft fuel that can be used in a pinch but the ships that
escorted and even the carriers themselves needed a refill when you
were flying cyclical air operations of the coast of Vietnam to
support the ground troops. Standard procedure was to fly round the
clock for several days and then refuel and at the same time take on
more bombs, missiles, and even sometimes groceries. As you were in a
war zone while refueling the whole operation was spectacular to watch
as the aircraft carrier knowing the exact location of the oiler made
its approach at 25-30 knots with the oiler steaming at only 15 knots.
As the bow of the carrier passed the stern of the oiler, the bridge
would order an emergency back bell and the propellers were reversed
and the back end of the ship would jump as the props bit into the
water slowing it quickly and bringing the refueling stations into
line and at just the right second they would order all engines ahead
standard and the carrier matched the oilers speed like a shadow. Then
first guns shot small messenger lines across between the two ships
and a larger cable was hauled across to send the refueling probes and
the hoses and the fuel starts to flow. As the ship is receiving its
million gallons of fuel up on the flight deck the large choppers are
lowering pallets onto the flight deck . Although it is great to watch
it is no place for the untrained or sightseers as a broken line can
cut a man in two. Finally tanks refilled for a few more days the
hoses and probes go back to the oiler and the two ships break away
from each other and another ship pulls up to the oiler to take on
fuel. The one Oiler I used to love watching while refueling was the
USS Wabash as they played the Wabash Cannonball as the two ships
parted . All in All a lot better show than paying a 3.03 a gallon to
pump your own at the Admiral station. Enjoy the Chips....buffalo
3.03 was over 2 years ago
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: The Pope
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska
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the
bear's grasp. Then, using long clubs, the three loggers finished off
the bear and two of them threw it into the bed of their truck while
the
third tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. 'I
give you my blessing for your brave actions!' he told them. 'I heard
there
was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic
environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that
this is not true.'
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'Well,' the logger said, 'he may have access to all wisdom, but he
sure don't know anything about bear hunting! Is the bait holding up,
or
do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?
Bonnie
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Computer Chips
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A letter from your computer
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But Alas, I'm only a bundle of circuits and wires, obeying
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Maybe instead of just ramming the diskette in, you could
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And maybe instead of just using me and turning me off when you're
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I know other computers have hurt you in the past. But I
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So come on baby, don't fight it. You know you want it.
I'll just turn off the lights and...and.. What?
OK...well, will you at least think about it?
I'm so embarrassed,
Your Computer.
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Cyber Chips
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CYBER SEX REJECTION FORM
Dear [insert screen name here] (if that is your real name), I regret
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Below, you will find the reason(s) for this action:
_____ While our cybersex sessions were, for the most part, competent,
your constant use of "brb gotta pee" took some of the romance out of
it.
_____ Your use of the term "the ol' cyber ball and chain" to refer to
me has hurt my feelings.
_____ I've found another lover, one who knows the importance of
punctuation.
_____ Certain errors during cyber sessions indicate that you were
less than honest:
_____ You typed: "I remove my bra" when you claimed to be a man.
_____ You typed: "I enter you" when you claimed to be a woman.
_____ You typed your own name at the end.
_____ Your supposedly original scenario, it turns out, is simply page
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_____ Your repeated references to animals suggest that you are hiding
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_____ Your refusal to cyber until I submitted a recent AIDS test
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______ I finally opened the file with your __ gif __jpg __ police
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______ I have no choice but to comply with the court orders unless I
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______ I have established a more personal relationship with the Lord,
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______ The fact that you BCC all your love letters to me leaves me
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______ I finally read your profile, and the fact that you are only 14
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______ I am entering the witness protection program.
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Any additional correspondence you may direct to my attorney,
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__ Good riddance
(alias)
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Circumcised Chips
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Circumcised
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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"I'm sick of Tchaikovsky,
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Parting Chips
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Bonus Chip
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What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
You can enjoy all but the head.
What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.
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They both get hot in 15 seconds.
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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