Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have been having a hard time watching TV lately. I want to catch
the last few Tiger games of the season as they aren't going into
the playoffs and Eva wants to watch Noggin, Disney or the cartoon
channel. With the number of TV's we have it should be no problem but
she seems to think I am the most fun to play with so whatever TV I
watch she has to join me and change channels. She has also
developed an attachment to my stuffed buffalos and just walked
out of here to go on a ride with her mom and Sandy with a buffalo as
big as she is. She also latched onto a water buffalo that was a gift
from LynnLynn before she passed away, but I am sure LynnLynn would
understand as her granddaughter was one of the most precious
things in her life.
It has been a good weekend so far on TV as I have steered away
from the news and watched baseball, a few movies, and a lot of the
Discovery Channel. I know the election and the arguments over the
economy will still be there when I go back. Last night's game
between
the Tigers and the Indians reminded me of the battle scene from
Braveheart as the benches and bullpens cleared for a little
wrestling and boxing. I can hardly blame Sheffield for starting it
though, when you have been hit by the same pitcher three times in
one season a reply is called for.
I watched Pearl Harbor and Hunt for Red October again today for the
umpteenth time and right now I am watching the Upside Down show
which is Sesame Street from Australia and even if it is aimed at
pre-schoolers it is hilarious.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Short Chips
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The blonde co-ed danced excitedly into her room clapping and
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Three old guys from the twilight home were given, as a treat, a day
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"I'd like to give her a kiss," said the second man.
And the third old man said, "What was that other thing we used to
do?"
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Cheating Chips
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Your Honor," she told the judge, "I want a divorce.
My husband has been cheating on me.
"That is a serious accusation," the judge said.
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"Yes, Your Honor. Just last night I was walking down
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didn't you follow them into the theatre and find
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coincidence. You should have gone in after them."
"I would have," she explained,
"but the fellow I was with had already seen the picture."
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Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing.
After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some
beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa, can I have some beer too?"
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back.
"No."
"Well, then you're not big enough."
Grandpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny
sees this and asks for a cigarette.
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again.
"No."
"Well, then you're not big enough."
Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His
grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"
Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?"
Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick, so he says, "Well of
course I can, I'm big enough."
Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my
cookies."
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The Transcript
FEY AS PALIN: "Good evening, my fellow Americans. I was so excited
when I was told Senator Clinton and I would be addressing you
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POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And I was told I would be addressing you
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FEY AS PALIN: "Now I know it must be a little bit strange for all of
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running mate."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And me being a fervent supporter of Senator
Barack Obama -- as evidenced by this button."
FEY AS PALIN: "But tonight we are crossing party lines to address
the
now very ugly role that sexism is playing in the campaign."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "An issue which I am frankly surprised to hear
people suddenly care about."
FEY AS PALIN: "You know, Hillary and I don't agree on everything..
POEHLER AS CLINTON: (OVERLAPPING) "Anything. I believe that
diplomacy
should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy."
FEY AS PALIN: "And I can see Russia from my house."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "I believe global warming is caused by man."
FEY AS PALIN: "And I believe it's just God hugging us closer."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "I don't agree with the Bush Doctrine."
FEY AS PALIN: "I don't know what that is."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "But Sarah, one thing we can agree on is that
sexism can never be allowed to permeate an American election."
FEY AS PALIN: "So please, stop photoshopping my head on sexy bikini
pictures."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And stop saying I have cankles."
FEY AS PALIN: "Don't refer to me as a 'MILF.'"
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And don't refer to me as a [flurge]. I Googled
what it stands for and I do not like it."
FEY AS PALIN: "So we ask reporters and commentators, stop using
words
that diminish us, like 'pretty,' 'attractive,
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "'Harpy,' 'shrew' and 'boner shrinker.'"
FEY AS PALIN: "While our politics may differ, my friend and I are
both
very tough ladies. You know it reminds me of a joke we tell in
Alaska..."What'
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."
FEY AS PALIN: "...between a hockey mom..."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."
FEY AS PALIN: "...and a pitbull?"
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."
FEY AS PALIN(AFTER A BEAT): "Lipstick. Just look at how far we've
come. Hillary Clinton, who came so close to the White House. And me,
Sarah Palin, who is even closer. Can you believe it, Hillary?"
POEHLER AS CLINTON: (AFTER A PAUSE)"I can not."
FEY AS PALIN: "It's truly amazing and I think women everywhere can
agree, that no matter your politics, it's time for a woman to make
it
to the White House."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "No. Mine! It's supposed to be mine! I need to
say
something. I didn't want a woman to be President. I wanted to be
President and I just happen to be a woman. And I don't want to hear
you compare your road to the White House to my road to the White
House. I scratched and clawed through mud and barbed wire and you
just
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FEY AS PALIN: "What an amazing time we live in. To think that just
two
years ago, I was a small town mayor of Alaska's crystal meth
capitol.
And now I am just one heartbeat away from being President of the
United States. It just goes to show that anyone can be President."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Anyone."
FEY AS PALIN: "All you have to do is want it."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: (LAUGHS) "Yeah, you know, Sarah, looking back,
if
I could change one thing, I should have wanted it more." (RIPS OFF
PIECE OF PODIUM)
FEY AS PALIN: "So in the next six weeks, I invite the media to be
vigilant for sexist behavior."
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Although it is never sexist to question female
politicians' credentials. Please ask this one about dinosaurs. So I
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mine."
FEY AS PALIN: And as we say in Alaska...
POEHLER AS CLINTON: "We say it everywhere..
FEY/POEHLER: "Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!
Stan Kegel
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The fact of the matter is: Jack
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About filling a pail...
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No problem to get her clothes a peeling....
But complained she felt no sexual feeling
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Parting Chips
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* What If Titanic sank Today?
Reaction from different countries:
U.S.A:
"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists. We will not
sit
quiet and we will teach them a lesson.
Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and
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(Canadian Prime Minister)
India:
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received passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic debris.
Pakistanis will have to pay for such horrendous act of terrorism. We
are now deploying more soldiers to the border."
(Prime Minister)
UN:
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(Sec.Gen.)
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Bonus Chip
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A guy goes for a job as a bouncer in a brothel; the manager is very
impressed and offers him a superb package including company car,
free
life insurance etc. The best of the perks is he is promised a free
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to
a private room.
Much to his surprise she just gives him a quick one off the wrist
and
leaves the room.
"That's odd" thinks our hero, "perhaps she's tired today."
At the end of day two he picks a redhead dressed up as a nurse same
thing happens, back to the room and a quick one off the wrist.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
VOl 1428
Sandi's Dream
Sandi is laying by her Daddy who is a young boy of ten. BJ is
fishing
of a riverbank using a cane pole. The butterflies are about and the
day
is a beautiful fall day, not too cold and not too warm. Sandi is at
peace
as the day continues... what will we do today? Will we get on that
raft again or will we take another nap in the clover? I am glad
young
daddy brought some hot dogs to cook...yummy.
BJ: Sandi, I have an idea. How about you and I go hunt some
rabbits
after we fix some hot dogs?
Sandi: Oh, I am so happy, what a great day.
BJ: Yeah, after we eat, and hunt rabbits, then how about a nice
long
nap by the creek?
Sandi's heart is really beating fast...:Oh boy, what a great day.
This is
Heaven.
BJ: After we get home tonight, let's go play with you an your
puppies
that you and Rudy had.
Sandi's eyes are moist: Yes, my family, my puppies..I have four, one
white
one like Rudy, and the others look like collies.. oh I hope I sleep
a long time.
BJ pulls out some beef jerky: Until the hot dogs are ready, how
about this
girl?
BJ hands her the jerky then hugs her and pets her and then starts to
brush
her hair.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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