WELCOME TO: THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!  FREE* NEW! PLANTERS Chocolate Lovers Get your FREE* 2-Pack Sample: Milk-Chocolate Cashews or Dark-Chocolate Almonds http://www.thepostm  CREME SAVERS Fruit-Swirled Hard Candy, FREE*! Delight your mouth with delicious, silky smooth Crème Savers! CREME SAVORS Fruit-Swirled hard candy made with real cream and combined with tasty fruit flavors is great when you're craving something sweet. It's the perfect pop-in-you-mouth kind of treat for any time of day! Give your taste buds something worth tasting. Choose a FREE* Sample of Crème Savers in Strawberry, Orange or Raspberry flavors. http://www.thepostm  FREE* WENDY'S $50 GIFT CARD! WENDY'S. When They Say Old-Fashioned They Mean Old-Fashioned! At WENDY'S we always get MORE for our money. Now you can get more too! MORE taste, MORE options, MORE service & MORE satisfaction. Get MORE burger for your buck with your FREE* $50 WENDY'S Gift Card! http://www.thepostm A hearty good morning to all postman fans! After a day off, I am back! The weekend saw rain dumping on west Michigan like a fury. Perhaps it was residue from hurricane Ike, I do not know. But I do believe it started raining Friday night and did not let up until late Sunday evening. A constant hard down pour kept our weekend activities to a minimum. And then yesterday, I got up to do the page for Sunday, and the power went down. The bad thing about it, I was three fourths of the way finished with the sunday issue, and when the internet finally came back up, it was gone:( Poofy. went to the la la never never land. Rather than redoing it, I simply curled up on the couch with "the war department" and listened to the rain falling on the roof. Lest you are suffering withdrawls, lets have some good jokes and toons! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS the process of evolution http://www.thepostm autumn leaf http://www.thepostm heart breaking http://www.thepostm crocodile hunter http://www.thepostm a good candidate http://www.thepostm whats that smell http://www.thepostm sobriety test http://www.thepostm Edna needs help http://www.thepostm football language http://www.thepostm SPECIAL REPORT: FREE BOTTLE OF HOODIA  Hoodia is being touted as the new supplement for safe, effective weight loss. Hoodia Gordonii, (Hoodia) is the botanical name for a cactus like plant that grows in Southern Africa. Scientists have recently isolated several compounds in this plant that are responsible for weight loss. This all-natural appetite suppressant is also being applauded for containing no dangerous stimulants that caused adverse side effects associated with weight loss products of the last decade. How Does Hoodia Work? It basically tricks the brain into thinking that you're full. 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Hurry while supplies of our samples last! http://www.thepostm ============ Join This Group If You Like Adult Laughter Over 21 Jokes Adult Jokes and Adult Cartoons No Nudity UNLESS RELATED TO HUMOR & No Chat To Join Click You will get about 50+ emails a day ============ LETS GO TO THE MOVIES the eagle and the turtle the Flintstones http://www.thepostm German parking http://www.thepostm nice neighborhood http://www.thepostm  Researchers at Yale University say that chocolate may be good for pregnant women. However, they say it is not good for women who just look pregnant. ____________ This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas." "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says, "No, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into." ____________ The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor. "As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say, 'I'm a Sperm.' She will answer, 'I'm an Egg.' From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?" The sperm nodded affirmatively. Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes immediately and runs to the tunnel. A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm. He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red, sticky ball. When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, "Hi, I'm a sperm!" The red sticky ball smiles and says, "Hi. I'm a tonsil." ____________ Bernie and Faye, a wealthy couple, are coming up to their 50th wedding anniversary and Faye has been thinking for some months about how they should celebrate. Then she comes to a decision. "Bernie," she says, "I'm g ing to book us a wonderful 6 weeks cruise. I know you don't like ships because you got sea sick last time, but trust me, this one will be perfect for us. It is called 'Bubbeh of the Sea,' an intimate seven-star luxury liner with everything Kosher we could ever want to eat made available at all hours. Let's give it a go." Bernie certainly isn't pleased with Faye's decision, but who is he to argue - he could never win. So he says, "OK,Dear." On the day of the cruise, Bernie and Faye drive up to the dock in their Bugatti Veyron 16.4. Captain Cohen is on the bridge as they pass by and calls in the purser. "Find out who they are and invite them to dine at my table tonight." Later, the purser knocks on the door of the Royal State Room. When Faye answers the door, the purser says, "Compliments of Captain Cohen, madam. He would very much like you both to dine with him this evening." Bernie comes to the door and says, "Who is it Faye, is there a problem?""This man says that Captain Cohen wants us to eat with him this evening," replies Faye. "I told you we shouldn't have come," says Bernie, "seven-star or no seven-star, we have only been on this boat half-an-hour and already we have to eat with the crew." ___________ Q: Why did the weatherman take a bar of soap to work? A: He was predicting showers. Q: Why did the Pilgrims cross the Atlantic in the "Mayflower"? A: It was too far to swim. VIAGRA Chapstik? One way to keep a "stiff upper lip!" Why did the nearsighted fly starve to death? He couldn't see shit. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer ____________ A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away." "What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!" With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said, "Bark".The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow." He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room. The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog's owner went postal."$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!" The vet shook his head sadly and explained. "If you had taken my word for it, it would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan..." ____________ Buffalo Bill THATS ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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