THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The golden years:
When actions creak louder than words
TEST AND KEEP A FREE BLACKBERRY BOLD
http://tinyurl.com/l6jd8g
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Martin aka the postman crawls up
on his soapbox and yells...
WHY IS IT......."IF YOU CROSS THE
NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU
GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR......
BUT, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER
ILLEGALLY YOU GET A DRIVERS
LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE,
FOOD STAMPS, AND FREE HEALTH CARE?"
Nobody listened so he got back down
again and decided to stick to
telling jokes.
(sorry if I got all "wee weed up"
over that one)
I caught Turk the dog aka Carlos the
rat stealing my motorcycle the other day
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
THE COMICS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p050.html
Dr Seuss and beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p051.html
woodpeckers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p052.html
seasick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p053.html
choices
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p054.html
I hope
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p055.html
Itchy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p056.html
built for two
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p057.html
count me out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p058.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
gratitude
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6057.html
amazing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6058.html
puttin a spark to life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6059.html
following directions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6060.html
bullfighting in Spain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6061.html
mamma come help!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6062.html
A man was driving home from work late one afternoon
when the battery in his car conked out.
Fortunately, he was near the garage where he
bought the battery just six months ago.
Inside the garage, he complained to the owner,
"My battery died! When I bought it from you only
six months ago, you said it would be the last
battery my car would ever need!"
"Sorry," the owner replied, "but I was being
truthful -- I didn't think that pile of junk
you drive would last six months!"
________________
Boudreaux at the hunting camp with 3 buddies,
drinking beer and playing bouree.
We'll call them: Thibodeaux, Gauthreaux, and Fontenot.
"Boudreaux ", says Fontenot, "You coming hunt
them bear with us in the morn?"
Boudreaux, the excellent hunter that he is, says,"
Non, I think I'll go alone; I hunt better that way".
So, in the morning when everyone else woke to go
on the hunt, there was ole Boudreaux, returning
from his hunt with a big black bear.
There was only ONE bullet hole on the bear,
right between the eyes.
"Damn, you are a good shot", says Thibodeaux,
who is leaving to go hunting.
"Yep, one shot - that's all it took"
says Boudreaux, "I told you!" Well, they came
back later that day without a single bear.
That night, the same routine; beer and bouree.
Thibodeaux asks Boudreaux if he'll go on
the hunt with them in the morn.
Again, Boudreaux says "No, I hunt better alone."
So, in the morn all 3 guys are leaving for the
hunt when Boudreaux is returning with a bear.
Again, only ONE bullet hole between the eyes.
Gauthreaux, not believing what he's seeing,
exclaims "Boudreaux, how you do it with one shot?
You can't be that good, huh?"
Well, the same thing happens later that day;
they return without a single bear.
The next morning Boudreaux returns with a bear
as the other 3 are leaving for their hunt.
But, this time, there were 3 bullet holes on the
bear; one in between the eyes, one in the left
paw, and one in the right paw.
Gauthreaux , seeing the three bullet holes, exclaims,
"Uh huh, I knew you couldn't do it three times in a
row with one bullet; I knew you wasn't that good!!"
Boudreaux, remaining calm, says "No man, all it
took was one shot - that's it!! You see, it was
pretty dark when I shot him. I put my flashlight
up like that and shined it at his eyes. When he
saw the light , he put both his hands over his
eyes to cover them, and that's when I shot."
________________
His request approved, the Fox News photographer
quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport
to charter a flight. He was told a twin engine
plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming
up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag,
slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go.'
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind
and took off. Once in the air, the photographer
instructed the pilot, `Fly over the valley and make
low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on
the hillsides.' 'Why?' asked the pilot.
'Because I'm a photographer for Fox Cable News,'
he responded. 'And I need to get some close up shots.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment.
Finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me is
. . . you're NOT my flight instructor?
_______________
A pissed off cowboy walked into the bar and slammed
his fist on the bar. "Ok," he shouted, "who's
the sonofabitch that painted my horse's balls red?"
At the other end, a huge biker stood up,
ripped the end of the bar out of the floor and
slammed it back down. "I did, asshole," he said.
"What have you got to say about that?"
"Oh," said the cowboy. "I just thought I'd
let you know...he's ready for his second coat."
_____________
The Preacher came to call the other day.
He said at my age I should be thinking
about the hereafter. I told him"Oh I
do all the time. No
matter where I am...in the parlor upstairs in the
kitchen or down in the basement I ask myself
'Now what am I here after?'"
______________
The tour bus traveling through northern Nevada
passed briefly at the Mustang Ranch near Sparks.
The guide noted"We are now passing the largest
house of prostitution in America."
A male passenger shouted "WHY?!?"
_____________
"Darn!" the man said to his friend while
weighing himself at the local drug store scale.
"I started on a new diet but the scale says
I'm heavier than I was before."
Turning to his friend he said"Here hold my jacket."
The scale still indicated that he had not lost any weight.
"OK" he said to his friend. "Hold my Twinkies."
__________
A young naval student was being put through
the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward,
what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"Hold on," said the captain.
"Where are you getting all those anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."
_________________
BUFFALO Bill
New Recruiting Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/alaklk.htm
Niggar Family
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asjskks.htm
Nissan Pathfinder
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsdxs.htm
Not a morning person
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axzsxd.htm
____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Diaper Dash
http://tinyurl.com/nhwrof
Carnival Shootout
http://tinyurl.com/dex9qt
Turtix Game
http://tinyurl.com/amo79g
____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Bear Dance
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000131.html
Bear Flop
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000132.html
Beard On Fire
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000133.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment