THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Every day should be a good day and
you should live it like it's your last
FREE Tango Red Samsung Washer & Dryer!
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
President Obama was in the middle of giving a speech when his
teleprompter fell to the floor and shattered. Meanwhile, Joe Biden's
teleprompter has been treated for exhaustion.
IN OTHER NEWS TODAY:
A new audit by the Treasury Department found that the IRS has failed
to collect taxes from 18% of Americans who owe more than $1 million,
even after they were rejected as Obama cabinet members!
----------------
Well its definitely "dog days" of summer here in West Michigan.
The temps have been so hot the last couple days, I have not even
felt like going out on the motorcycle. That's pretty hot. Usually
the two window airconditioners and the ceiling fans do a reasonable
job of cooling off the house, and if I really have to, I can
also fire up a box fan or two. But it still felt
"sticky" somehow yest, despite my best efforts
at staying cool. Today is supposed to be over 90 degrees. I'm sure
the beaches will create a major traffic jam on the roads by about
11 am this morning. I am not so thrilled with the prospects of
Lake Michigan as many folks are around here. I think I shall find
me a McDonalds with my Nora Roberts "who done it" novel and
spend most of the day sipping coffee and reading. One of my favorite
MickyD's has a little "lounge" area with the most comfortable
chairs you could ask for. And the staff are kind enough to fix me up
with a "senior coffee" even tho they know I am still a couple
years shy of the discount.It becomes a challenge between reading
and napping. But the good folks over there don't seem to mind too
much.Well, as long as I don't snore loudly :)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
whats this?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n070.html
Grand pa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n071.html
20 years
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n072.html
warning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n073.html
airbags
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n074.html
to be honest
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n075.html
the grim reaper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n076.html
I'll call you back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n077.html
frigid
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n078.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
farting in public
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6015.html
GI JOE --- The Oak Ridge boys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6016.html
the hamster vacuum
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6017.html
Shamwow Scamwow paraody
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6018.html
penguins fly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6019.html
people pops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6020.html
_______________
A woman, who had been married and divorced twice, went on a hunting
trip to South Africa. In the course of the journey into the wilds,
her safari group came across some cannibals.
The balance of the crew told her, "You're ok, but we must leave --
immediately!"
She inquired as to why she was ok, if the rest of them had to run for
their lives. The leader of the safari responded, "Cannibals learned
years ago not to eat divorced women. They are always bitter!"
____________
Q. What holds up Oral Roberts' pants?
A. Bible belt.
Q. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
A. Even the pool table has no balls.
Q. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A. Juan on Juan
Q. Four Michigan players are in a car, who's driving?
A. The police
Q. Why can't most of the University of Michigan players get into
a huddle on the field?
A. It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.
____________
Little Johnny was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a
particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to
take him to the park on Saturday morning.
It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His
grandmother remarked..."doesn't it look like an artist painted this
scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"
Johnny said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him "What makes
you say God did this with his left hand?"
"Well," said Johnny, "we learned at Sunday School last week that
Jesus sits on God's right hand!"
________________
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer
team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the
kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a
nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining
to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer.
"We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep
track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it.
They're pretty good at it too."
"Very clever!" remarks the other patron.
Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out
the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids
from the bus?"
"Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being
referred to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?"
"Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window,
"but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the hell
out of my best milk cow!"
_______________
Why Dogs are Better Than Kids
10. Eat less and will eat anything.
9. Don't ask for money all the time. No opposable thumbs and no
pockets = No use for money.
8. Are easier to housebreak
7. Do not have the slightest interest in gangsta rap or YouTube
6. Never ask to drive your car
5. Don't hang out with drug-using dropout friends
4. Don't smoke or drink
3. Don't wear your clothes
2. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college
1. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
____________
Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I ran into his
horrible, rude man downtown this morning. Right away I knew he was
troublemaker. He started to insult me, he used really bad language,
why he even threatened me!"
"How did you meet this fellow?" asked her husband.
"It was by accident," she replied, "I kinda hit him with the car."
_________
BUFFALO BILL
army's slogan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hdsdgsg.htm
army
http://www.buffaloschips.com/djsjdjkk.htm
Arnold
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fwetwtw.htm
art
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ppappap.htm
__________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
And They Chant His Name
http://tinyurl.com/kpxvyh
The Hidden Object Show Combo Pack
http://tinyurl.com/kq9s2e
Ether War
http://tinyurl.com/l7wtns
Death by Pen
http://tinyurl.com/kkuyhb
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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