THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Follow the three Rs:
Respect for self,
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.
-Dalai Lama
________________
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I was out and about yesterday on the bike,
and pulled off into a nearby park to sit and
take a break. Meantime, there is a mother there
with a toddler. The kid comes running up to the
bike. And I confess I am always a bit apprehensive
when that happens. I paid a lot of money for the
Iron horse, you know? First thing the kid does is
she reaches out and starts to pound on the bike.
Which really kind of pissed me off. But, about five
seconds later, she managed to touch the muffler, which
of course was hotter than shit ....go figger. The kid
starts to cry and then momma comes running up to me
all pissed off and acting like this was MY fault cuz
the mean bad biker hurt her little girl. Kid burned her fingers.
I won't repeat what I had to say to the mother,
but there are a couple observations I would like to make:
1. Some kids will grow up inspite of their parents.
2. When you look at some parents, it tells you why their
children turn out the way they did.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
the airlines
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n030.html
he misunderstood
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n031.html
I'm allowed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n032.html
why?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n034.html
a good sample of logic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n035.html
what's for dinner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n036.html
will you marry me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n037.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
after one year of marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5990.html
after 40 years of marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5991.html
nfl season
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5992.html
cooler heads prevail
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5993.html
step on the break
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5994.html
what a let down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5995.html
A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility,
and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private
parts.A woman walks past and says, snickering,
"If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied,
"If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."
___________________
Two old guys were chatting..... One said to the other:
"My 70th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV".
Other guy responded: "Wow, that's amazing!!.....
Imagine, an SUV!!.. What a great gift!"
First guy: "Yup !!.... Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
_______________
The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me
that she won't let me do any work around the house.
It's incredible."
The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God."
"She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?"
"Every night she places a burnt offering before me."
__________________
There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman
on board.
The headquarters in the US calls:
"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to coms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1,
increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the
reactors. So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases
the oxygen.
A few moments later headquarters calls again: "Monkey #2, Monkey #2
report to coms for instructions." He sits down and he is told to add
Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to
add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyse the solar
radiation. So the monkey does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection,
the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation.
A little later on, headquarters calls again: "Woman, woman please
report to coms for instructions." She sits down and just as she is
about to be told what to do she says..... "I know, I know!! Feed
the monkeys, and don't touch a damn thing."
_________________
An elderly retired couple were driving down the East coast,
when they stopped in Georgia for a fuel stop.
The elderly woman was very hard of hearing, and usually
asked her husband to repeat everything.
An elderly station attendant came to the car and started
filling the fuel tank. Making idle talk, he asked if the
man liked the weather, to which the man replied, "very much."
What'd he say?, asked the woman. "He asked if I like the
weather, and I told him yes", replied her husband.
"Where are you-all headed", asked the attendant.
"Oh, we're going to Jacksonville", he replied.
"What'd he say?" asked the woman. "He asked where
we're going, and I told him to Jacksonville,"the husband replied.
"Where are you-all from," inquired the attendant a few moments later.
"Oh, we're from Maine," the man replied. "Ah, I was in
Maine for two years while I was in the Air Force," replied
the attendant. In fact, I dated a girl from Maine while I
was there. It didn't last long though. I have to tell you,
this girl was the worst in bed of any girl I ever knew."
"What'd he say?" inquired the woman.
"He said he thinks he knows you," replied her husband.
___________
BUFFALO Bill
A XXXmas Story
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0re.htm
Anger Management
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ohj9.htm
Angry Residents
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9j43.htm
Good Lickin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kriw.htm
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SYDESJOKES LIST
Bad Ass Police Dogs
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000098.html
Bad Boy
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000099.html
Bad Carrier Landing
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000100.html
_____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Cate West: The Velvet Keys
http://tinyurl.com/qmd5br
Jumping Penguin
http://tinyurl.com/dx2kux
Castle Smasher
http://tinyurl.com/dgfgjg
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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