Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The past few days I have seen a lot of attention focused on
the 40th anniversary of Woodstock. Even though I have never
been considered a hippy I have always loved the music of
that era and I sat down to watch the special on the History Channel
last night and right on schedule Charter lost the
signal in the middle of the program. I am really considering Dish TV
even with the outages from storms there has to be less
down time and it does cost only half as much. Charter is
also on its annual give the customer less for more drive
that will move the Weather Channel from Basic tier into the 67.00
advanced tier so the poor people will have to upgrade or get their
weather from the local channels.
After ten years last night the city commission voted to stop the
annual goose hunts because of a lack of participants on both sides.
It is a shame that the city had to resort to this tactic but the
geese had discovered the city was a refuge and you couldn't go near
any
of the parks beside the water or the athletic fields because of
goose poop. The animal lovers of course are happy but the city did
leave an option open to reinstate the hunt if things got bad again.
Thanks to all for the get well suggestions and wishes, I am a little
more mobile today although it is really rough to get out of bed.
Enjoy the chips.. I am smiling and ranting so you know I feel
better.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Male bashing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it
take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. They don't stop and ask for directions.
Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human
being.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys TWO cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We
don't know; it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every
night? A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
common? A. They're married.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Chopping A Tree
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I want a divorce
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big tits
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny and his friends were talking about condoms in school
one day. Basically he knew where they were used and their purpose,
but not much more than that. So he decided to go to a local drug
store to buy a few in order to learn more about them. As to not
waste too much time, he asked the pharmacist if he had any condoms
for sale.
The pharmacist replied, why yes, we have them three for a dollar.
Johnny replied, I'll take three then.
When the pharmacist tallied the amount the register, the total came
to one-dollar and six cents.
Johnny said, wait a minute, what's the six cents for, I thought you
told me they were three for a dollar.
The pharmacist replied... that's the tax we put on them.
Little Johnny said, oohh, I thought they stayed on by themselves.
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Viagra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman walks into her sex therapist's
office and tells her that her husband is
not a very good lover, and they never
have sex anymore, and asks what to do
about it.
The therapist tells her that she has an
experimental drug that might do the trick.
She tells the woman to give her husband
one pill that night and come back in the
morning and tell her what happened.
The next day, the woman comes in ecstatic
telling the therapist that the pill worked and
she and her husband had the best sex ever.
She asks her therapist what would happen
if she gave her husband two pills and the
therapist says she doesn't know, but to go
ahead and try it.
The next day, the same thing happens, the
woman comes in telling the therapist that
the sex was even better than the night before
and what would happen if she gave him five
pills. The therapist says she doesn't know,
but to go ahead and try it.
The next day, the woman comes in limp but
happy, and tells the therapist that the sex just
keeps getting better and what would happen if
she gave her husband the rest of the bottle.
The therapist says she doesn't know; it's an
experimental drug and she doesn't know what
a full bottle could do to a person. Anyway,
the woman leaves the therapist's office and
put the rest of the bottle of pills in the husband's
morning coffee.
A week later, a boy walks into the therapist's
office and says: "Are you the dumb fuck who
gave my mother a bottle of experimental pills?"
"Why, yes, young man, I did. Why?"
"Well, mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my ass hurts,
and dad's sittin' in the corner going "Here, kitty,
kitty, kitty..."
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Woman Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, the Lord decided to make a companion
for Adam. He summoned St. Peter and told him of
his decision. He told St. Peter that he wanted to
make a being who was similar to man, yet was
different, and could offer him comfort, companionship
and pleasure. The Lord said he would call this being
a woman.
So St. Peter went about creating this being which was
similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and
could provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished
creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The
Lord.
"Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent
job," said The Lord.
"Thank You, Great One," replied St. Peter. "I am now
ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses
to the being, this .. woman. I require your assistance on
this matter, Lord."
"You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive,
more feeling, more compassionate, and more adaptable than man's,"
said The Lord.
"The nerve endings," said St. Peter. "How many will I
put in her hands?"
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Then we shall do the same for this woman," said The
Lord.
"And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?"
inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Seventy five, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet, so
they benefit from having less nerve endings there. Do
the same for woman," said the Lord.
"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's
genitals?" inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Four hundred and twenty, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of
receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the
same for woman," said The Lord.
"Yes, my Lord," said St. Peter.
"No, wait," said The Lord. "Screw it, give her ten
thousand! I want her to scream my name!"
Well....... now you know!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mouse Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in her drinking days, Donna walks into a bar and asks for a
beer and a shot of whiskey. A few minutes later the bartender hands
her the order. Donna drinks the beer and pours the shot of whiskey
into her pocketbook. She orders another round of the same, so the
bartender takes Donna's two glasses and refills them. Once again,
Donna drinks the beer and pours the shot of whiskey into her
pocketbook.
The bartender says, "Look Miss, I don't mean to bug you, but my
curiosity is killing me. Why do you keep pouring the shots into your
pocketbook?"
Donna says, "It's none of your damn business! And if you be givin'
me a hard time, Ill be breakin' yer face!"
Suddenly a mouse pops his head out of Donna's pocketbook and says,
"And that goes for your fuckin' cat too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three men are walking down the street. One is from California, one
is from New York, and the last is from St. Louis.
A good looking woman walks by ... the man from California states
"She's about an 8."
The man from New York states "No, no ... she's a 6."
The man from St. Louis says "Hell no, she's a 1."
The two men look at the guy from St. Louis and turn to each other
and say, "Well, she was not that good looking."
All three continue walking down the strip. As chance happens another
woman walks by. She is more beautiful than the first.
The man from California exclaims "9"
The man from New York cries "8.5"
The man from St. Louis says "2"
The man from California and New York State, "I guess it takes all
types."
Finally an extremely beautiful woman crosses their line of sight.
The man from California and New York simultaneously state "10"
The man from St. Louis states loudly, "3.5"
The man from New York asks the man from St. Louis, "What the hell is
wrong with you?" "Are you gay?" "She was beautiful!"
The man from St. Louis turns to him and says, "I'm using the
Budweiser method."
The man from California asks "What is that?"
The man from St. Louis responds "The Budweiser method is to see how
many Clydesdales (horses) it would take to pull her off my face."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Slide Show ~ Family and Friends
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John w/ Country Churches around the world
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carolyn w/ Could I Fall In Love ~ Elvis Presley
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I WISH FOR YOU
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Our Valuable Anchor
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Surfin Surfari
Bridge Walk 2009
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Product Manuals
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What's for Dinner ? Via Wesley
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Mercedes Seagull 300SL Via Wesley
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Memeo Send
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Find the ISP and Country of Origin Via Wesley
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Coding Tips
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
QuickTime Alternative
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Watch Whole Movies Online Legally Via Wesley
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PIXresizer
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Movie Clips
Ernest Borgnines Tip For A Long Life
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Finish Jackie
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Flirting Garbage men
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Football Season
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Geenautomeernodig
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Mouse Wont Work
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Movie TV Bed
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M Rip It Up
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The Flies In Florida Are Tough
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Dunk Shot
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picnic Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young intern was making a morning visit in
the maternity pre-partum ward at the local hospital.
He stopped at the first bed and said: "What is
the expected due date for your baby?"
"June 8th." she answered.
He went on to the next bed and repeated his
question.
"June 8th." came the reply.
He asked the woman in the next bed the same
question.
Again the response was "June 8th."
After getting the same answer seven times in
a row, he found the next patient asleep.
He turned to the woman he had just questioned,
and asked: "Does Mrs. W. here also expect her
baby to be born on June 8th?"
"I don't know," was the reply. "You see, she didn't
go to our company's Labor Day picnic."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
bite my ass
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bitter
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bj
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bj 2
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Juan's wife's stories--never a borer.
For her cooking he'll really adore 'er.
His one complaint deep?
The sounds when you sleep!
You're a hell of a noisy señora."
There was a young laundress named Springer,
Who went on to become a good singer...
She acquired her range,
In a manner most strange;
When she caught both her tits in the wringer!
- - - - - - - - - -
There once was a goddess named Venus,
Whose disarming was awful and heinous,
For her name didn't rhyme,
With sweet words such as "thyme,"
So Zeus punished her for writing "penis."
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a very unusual hospital where one of the main treatments
was that the nurses would take the male patients home and sleep with
them. But there was one patient, Rob, no one wanted to take him
home. He was a small man, and he had tattooed on his penis the word
SHORTY.
Well, finally, Valerie, feels sorry for him and takes him home and
sleeps with him. She comes back to work the next day smiling. The
other nurses ask what she could possibly be so happy about after
sleeping with a guy with SHORTY written on his penis.
"Yes," replies Valerie, "but when he becomes aroused, it says,
SHORTY'S RESTAURANT AND PIZZERIA."
"Wow!" they say.
"ORDERS TO TAKE OUT," Valerie continues. "ALL BAKING DONE ON
PREMISES...ESTABLIS
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some days when I look out my window, the sheer
boundless beauty of nature amazes me. Her rolling
hills, her scenic valleys and her gently undulating
grasslands fill me with awe and pleasure.
On other days, though, my "does-yoga-in-
neighbor has the shades down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1672
Dad's Trip
BJ: Okay guys I am going to visit my kid in Ardmore so that is why
I am packing so many bags.
Rudy: Eight bags. You are leaving forever!
BJ: No, there are some things I want to show him, plus I am taking
a camera, camcorder to take pictures and video.
Rudy: Oh! Why all the guns. You going to kill him?
BJ: No, there is a free public gun range close to his house and he
likes to shoot so we will shoot our guns.
Rudy: A bi-ped guy thing I guess.
Sandi: This is called male bonding.
BJ: Yes, so I have my fourteen revolvers, four rifles and compond
bow with me. I need to practice.
Rudy: Why?
BJ: Like everything, if you do not practice, you will not become
skilled.
Rudy: Like us hunting?
BJ: Right.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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