Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was going through my email this morning and there was
a yard-sale ad that caught my eye for a large wood beam.
I believe the seller meant to say that it was Wolmanized meaning it
was pressure treated for use below ground level, but it came out as:
For Sale a 6x6 in. by 16 ft. womanized
wood piece. No longer need it. Make an offer.
When you have about 400 pieces of mail to read a day on
average you like to handle each email only once, and put
it in the proper newsletter, file it for later reading, or delete
it. When you hit an e-mail with something strange in it the whole
process comes to a halt and you start wondering things like how does
a person womanize a 16 foot piece of wood. Do you paint it pink and
put curtains on it or maybe use it to display a whole bunch of
knick-knacks? By the time I get done pondering those questions I
have spent so much time on it that you end up getting to read about
it as an introduction.
What would you use a womanized beam for?
buffalo
BTW when I spell checked this article it wanted to change Wolmanized
to womanized so maybe this was all Bill Gates fault.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before you write another check to your car insurance company,
compare car insurance quotes online!
Get multiple quotes in minutes.
Visit Car Insurance In 10 Minutes.
We can help you save as much as $500 a year on your auto insurance.
Compare quotes online for free.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Football Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a man named Jones and he played 3rd string center for a
pro football team. Friday came around and he started to feel ill. As
the weekend went on he got worse. It came time for the game on
Monday night and he could not get out of bed.
His wife told him to go cause they needed the money and that all he
had to do is sit on the bench. Feeling real ill he told his wife
that he could not go. She gets the idea to dress in is his uniform
and just sit on the bench in his place because he almost never
plays.
During the first quarter the first string center gets knocked out.
During the 2nd quarter the 2nd string center gets knocked out. The
coach yells "Jones get in there," so she goes out onto the field and
immediately gets knocked out.
Twenty minutes later she wakes up finding the coach over her pushing
on her tits saying, "Don't worry Jones when we get your balls back
down your dick will pop out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Divorce
http://www.thepostm
who needs a man
http://www.thepostm
2 mellons
http://www.thepostm
Cellphone In Heaven
http://www.sydesjok
Cellphone Ring Tone
http://www.sydesjok
Certified Microsoft Partner
http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this age of safe sex the need for condoms are a must but some
people still have a difficult time buying them.
Take my friend, Joe.
Our local store carries condoms behind the counter and you need to
ask the salesperson to get them.
So Joe went up to the salesperson, but he was so nervous he could
only ask where the straws were.
So he bought the straws and left only to have to come back to buy
his condoms.
Again Joe came into the store and was still so nervous he could only
ask where the tweezers were, so he bought a pair of tweezers and
left.
Joe once again had to go back and buy his condoms.
He went up to the salesperson and said, in a low tone, "I need some
condoms."
The salesperson rang up the sale and said, "First you come in to buy
straws, then to buy tweezers, and now to buy condoms."
"What I want to know is..... are you going to suck it, pluck it, or
fuck it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snuggie For Dogs - As Seen on TV
Snuggie for Dogs is the ultra soft, luxurious blanket coat with
sleeves designed to keep your pet totally warm and cozy all year.
Your dog will love wearing its very own Snuggie while going for a
walk, playing in the yard, taking a nap, eating or playing with a
toy. This fleece blanket is machine washable so you and your happy
hound can share years of warmth and comfort! Perfect for all dogs,
big and small.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Explaining Sex To Your Teenage Son
------------
------------
"Hold on a minute... did you just say you humped up in my mammas
pussy while she was still pregnant with me????"
"We made LOVE son, yes"
"I can't believe what I'm hearing! You sick bastard!"
"It's quite normal son"
"QUITE NORMAL? QUITE FUCKING NORMAL? You call shooting your load
over a babies head normal???"
"Why, you were in quite a different part of your mothers body, son.
You were safely tucked away in a placental sack in her womb
protected from my ejaculate by a cervical mucus plug, not to mention
uterine muscle and a cushion of amniotic fluid."
"Don't try and baffle me with science you freaky fetish freak. What
was it? Like some fucked up hippy baptism orgy?"
"Don't be like that son, lots of people make love when expecting a
baby, particularly during the second trimester. It's quite possible
right through the third trimester up to birth you know."
"Lot's of people? What is this? Some kind of incestuous
semi-paedophilic menage et trois? Is it like some sort of Masonic
ritual to join some fucked-up sex mad society?"
"Yes son. OK. Have it your way. I'm a freaky fetish freak who shot
his load all over your head while humping up in your mammas pussy
during a Masonic incestuous semi-paedophilic mushroom ritual to give
you a hippy baptism so that you could join our sex mad society. And
I've been wanking into your shampoo bottles every since."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get Your Doctor's Report.
Detailed information about your doctor that you need to know!
Plus - Sign up now get tools and tips!
Act Now - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's address
bar:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes inside the confessional and says, "Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned." "What did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Yesterday I was walking along the beach at night, and I decided to
explore a cave near the shore. When I turned on my flashlight, I
witnessed two men having sex." "Oh, so you were the asshole with the
flashlight?
~~~
It was a typical night at the old watering hole. Jim walked in, took
his seat at the bar and ordered a tall one.
Then Jim told his buddy, Bill, "I called the local insane asylum
yesterday to check on who has escaped from there recently."
Confused by his buddy's comment, Bill asked, "Oh? Why were you
wondering about that?"
Jim explained, "Well, somebody married my ex-wife last week."
~~~~~~~
There was this Chinese businessman visiting a
newly acquired business in the United States.
As a gesture of good will, the executives of
his newly acquired business took him to a golf
course for a round of golf. He had never
played the game before.
Upon his return to China, his family asked what
he had done in the United States.
He replied, "Played most interesting game. Hit
little white ball with long stick in large cow
pasture. Name of game is Oh shit!"
~~~~~~
These two guys were talking how they wanted to die. One said he
wanted to die in his sleep so he wouldn't have any pain.
The other said he wanted to die like a rat.
His friend said," how's that? "
He said, " I wanna jump in bed and let that pussy eat me up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heel-Tastic is an intensive heel therapy that will Soothe, Relieve
and Soften heels and feet! It penetrates deep to the source to
soothe dry skin. It also works great for rough knees, dry, itchy
elbows, even cuticles!
-Soothe!
-Relieve!
-Soften heels and feet!
-Easy-to-use!
Buy One Get One FREE for only $10 PLUS you'll get a Bonus 10-piece
grooming kit FREE
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Body Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The night was dark when two men came up to the run-down cabin in
Southern Georgia and kicked against the door.
"Say, you all right, C.Lee?" said Jud. " We found a body by the
creek, and we kinda thought it might be you."
"What'd the fella look like?" asked C.Lee.
"Sorta like you, C.Lee. A no-account."
"Have on shoes?"
"Yep."
"Overalls?"
"Yep."
"Shirt?"
"Yep."
"Was he shaved?"
"Seems like he were."
"Twarn't me, then."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get the lean, flat, rock-hard abs you've always wanted.
The Vibro Belt firms and strengthens target areas of the body. No
more costly gym memberships. This vibrating massage belt features a
variety of program settings, rotation directions and intensity
levels so you can customize your very own session. Simply switch
Vibro Belt on and let it work for you.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Style Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Along with all of the eye-candy summertime brings
(which of course we all spend a good chunk of the day monitoring),
you can also see some truly horrifying sights. The other day, I saw
a woman whose entire 300 pound frame was clearly convinced that she
was Britney Spears and dressed accordingly. I understand that much
of it has to do with the fashions of the day, but if you think that
low-rider jeans are equal opportunity then you are dumber than
Jessica Simpson.
I have compiled a list of terms that describe the types of fat found
on most big-boned, I-only-eat-salad-
of fat girls.
Fatty Tuna Rolls - The pinched fat on or around the hips
caused by low-rise pants in size 4 when you are really a size 12.
Skate Wings - The puckered fat hanging from the triceps, similar in
texture to the eponymous fish and revealed by teeny-weeny tank tops.
Pulled Pork - The red-tinted stretch marks on one's underbelly made
visible by a combination of low-rise pants and tiny tanks.
Sausage Links - The obvious similarity of obese fingers to the
summer barbeque delicacy. Those afflicted should be required to wear
mittens year round.
Tootsie Rolls - The somewhat utilitarian back fat often accentuated
by brassieres purchased 4 years and 50 pounds ago. I have seen these
large enough to provide temporary storage for things like remote
controls and chicken wings.
Bone-in Rib Eye (also known as the cankle) - This phenomenon
is seen in short-wearers whose calf connects directly to the foot.
No ankle.
Passion Fruit Soufflé - Sometimes when the breasts outgrow
the bra they simply spill over it like a muffin top or a rising
soufflé. Too much of these is probably how you got into this whole
mess anyway.
Jelly Bellies - This one should be self-explanatory.
And it's disgusting.
Amuse Course - Ever get a HUGE plate with an itsy bit of fancy food?
Just like a face adrift in multiple chin and cheek fat.
Double Burger - Sometimes when the stomach extends forward
past the breasts, it can provide adequate support without requiring
a bra. I bet this looks really funny upside down.
If you have any of the items on this list then get off your fat,
lazy ass and get to the gym. In the meanwhile, try to shop someplace
more appropriate. Like Lane Bryant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE LEGEND LIVES ON
Join Walter Cronkite as he Remembers the Events that Changed The
World
Called "the most trusted man in America," legendary CBS News anchor
and national icon Walter Cronkite gives you a revealing, insider's
look at the events that shaped our world in this collectible,
special edition DVD boxed set based on the Emmy Award-winning
series. Bring home Cronkite Remembers today!
7-1/2 hours of world-shaking stories on 3 DVDs Never-before-
archival clips & rare interviews Personal reflections, private
videos & photos Exclusive in-depth Bonus Features Commemorative
embossed tin box
Preview the entire series Risk Free!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Lifetime Friends
http://www.silveran
Chosen Words
http://www.poetryin
John/Dirt Roads
http://heavens-
We've All Been There
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari Via Wesley
Portable Hot-Tub
http://www.dutchtub
A List of phobias
http://www.phobiagu
Peripheral Vision
http://www.unitzero
Coupon Search
http://www.couponch
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
2D physics sandbox
http://www.phunland
On-Line Media Hosting
http://imageshack.
Shiny Binary Art
http://www.shinybin
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or
crashing and freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to
major system problems and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few
minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention that your computer's registry does contain file "errors",
then it may be in your computer's best interest to fix the
potentially harmful file errors in your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.monorail
Kitty Korner
http://www.thepetce
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
you've downloaded any music, movie clips, or games in the past 2
months, then your computer may be infected with "Ad-Ware" and
"Spy-Ware"!
Advertisers use downloadable music as a vehicle to "legally" add
"Spy-Ware" and "Ad-Ware" to consumer PCs. If you're suspicious that
Internet Advertisers have added "Ad-Ware" or "Spy-Ware" to your
computer, then here's your chance to scan your computer at no
charge.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
FREE*- DATING SITE and DATING COMMUNITY!
Are you still SINGLE? Last week we sent you an email to notify you
about our new dating network that is -FREE- to join, and not only do
we have thousands of single women and men located right in your
city, but we have the EXACT SINGLE women and men that you would want
to meet and date this week!
PRESS HERE TO JOIN FOR NO COST (MUST BE 18 and OLDER):No Credit Card
Required:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Clips
Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck
http://www.buffalos
Instant Justice Mega Mix
http://www.buffalos
Iraqi Speed Bump
http://www.buffalos
Irish Beer
http://www.buffalos
Islamic Stripper
http://www.buffalos
Gun Control Witness
http://www.buffalos
Gunslinger
http://www.buffalos
Half Time Show
http://www.buffalos
Hammer Guy
http://www.buffalos
Happy Penguin
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Medevil Pick-up Lines
- "Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight
could scabbard his sword, would you?"
- "Been there, slain that."
- "What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"
- "They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."
- "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the
only thing they stretched."
- "Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on
my sleeping chambers floor."
- Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my
chain mail drawers expanding."
- "Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"
- "Your hovel or mine?"
- "Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in
action?"
- "Dost thou practice safe hex?"
- "Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic
within."
- "I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my
heart."
- "You should be glad I'm not a Viking."
- "You would have been ravaged and plundered by now."
- "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!"
- "Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes
disappear?"
- "You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a
vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends
is on it!!"
- "I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have
sex with frogs?"
- "My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help
you out of it."
- "I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks
and...er...PUNISH me, now won't you?"
- "You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like
Repunnzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let
down."
- "I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady."
- "C'mon, sweetie...didn'
keeps the black plague away."
- "I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Repair Scratched Wood Instantly Stop covering up embarrassing
scratches...
clean and the scratch is gone. Fix It Wood works on all types of
wood colors, stains and grains. So whether your wood is dark, light
or in between it repairs it instantly. The wood scratch has met its
match. View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Almost done
http://www.buffalos
Almost there
http://www.buffalos
Alone
http://www.buffalos
Men And Women
http://www.buffalos
New Medal
http://www.buffalos
American
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
World's Most Convenient Multi-Use Steamer
Steam Buddy is the quickest and safest way to remove wrinkles. It
gives you the power of the dry cleaner in the palm of your hand.
Steam Buddy is gentle enough for silk, but touch enough for linens.
It heats up in seconds and eliminates the hassle of ironing boards.
Steam up your life with Steam Buddy.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sailor, Ashore In Peru
Said ''Senora, Quanto Por La Screw?''
''For Only One Peso
I Will, If You Say So,
Be Buggered And Nibble It Too.''
I once knew a gal that was on the pill
She would screw till she quite was ill,
And claimed that she got in the habit
From just watching her furry pet rabbit
But her appetite none was ever able to fill
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Your Food Fresh Up To 50 Days Longer
Always Fresh Containers help extend the lifespan of your fruits,
vegetables and much more. This ultimate food storage system absorbs
and removes food-spoling ethylene gas released during the natural
ripening process.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his
father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying
out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.
As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of
the window and landed at the girl's feet.
"What's this, "she asked.
"Taste it," he replied, "If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!"
Peggy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds
Slap Chop makes chopping up vegetables, nuts and fruits quick and
easy. The food gets finer with every slap - you'll never need to
switch the blade. Slap Chop is dishwasher safe making clean up a
breeze.
Order one today and get a second one at no charge.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one
evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every
request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love,
Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married
almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen , the man leaned over to his
host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you
still call your wife those loving pet names'.
The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said,
'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago ,and I'm scared to
death to ask the cranky old bitch what her name is.'
Keylinck
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time
Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
quality sound through the speakers in your car. Just plug Jupiter
Jack in your phone, preset your radio to 99.3 FM and you're ready to
start talking.
Order now and you'll get two Jupiter Jacks for the price of one.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1662
Surfing
Sandi falls asleep and Rudy gets the remote.
Rudy: I wonder whats on the movie channels?
Click!
Oh Bart, I love you so much, let's run away together and we can
Click!
Load the torpedo tubes! Fire one! Fire two! Periscope up! Looks
like the target has been..
Click!
Branded. Jake get me another calf, we got another fifty calves to
brand before midnight or we...
Click!
Will turn into a pumkin at midnight. My horses will turn into mice
and worse of all
Click!
The earth will be hit by an asteroid in twenty days and we will all
die. Unless, unless we have only one chance and that is to
Click!
Dance, dance like there is no tomorrow, dance until the stars come
out and then...
Click!
Your under arrest! What for? For being a wise guy that's what for.
You just can't go around and be a ..
Click!
Clown...Ma a clown. An elephant, a tiger, is it a circus?
No son, it is just a
Click!
The president of the United States
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
No comments:
Post a Comment