THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I have never been real big on games and
such. Tried a few different ones and none
of them really interested me. Once in a great
while I might go hunting
for a new recipe or two, but otherwise, aside
from doing this page, I really don't have much
interest in a computer, or the Internet. Barney,
my latest new computer that I purchased, maybe a
month or two ago, is probably one of the lowest
end computers that you can get. After all, for
what I do, you don't need anything that's gonna
provide a lot of shock and awe, know what I mean?
Fact is, if it were not for THE CORNER, I probably
would not even have a computer. However, there is
one thing I do like to do on here.
I sortof enjoy looking up and
finding useless facts and information. Breakfast
in the morning for "the war department" must be pretty
challenging at times. I spit out all the silly
stuff I've learned while she eats her Oatmeal.
I did find a couple facts of interest here lately
that I thought were worth sharing with all of you.
For example, did you know that the first testicular
guard was used in Cricket way back in 1875? And the
first helmet was used back in 1975. See, now you
know what that means? It took men 100 years for
men to realize that their brain was important too!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________
THE COMICS
Siamese
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q070.html
getting old
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q071.html
who needs boys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q072.html
myspace
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q073.html
seriously
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q075.html
I'm cumin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q076.html
don't worry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q077.html
what does this patient have
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q078.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
a hedge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7002.html
tar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7003.html
hi mom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7004.html
start you bastard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7005.html
a big gun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7006.html
Steven Wright on Johnny Carson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7007.html
candid camera
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7008.html
_______________
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by
the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch
could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's
youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his
freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult
question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the
answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer,
he would be put to death. The question?...What do women
really want? Such a question would perplex even the
most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it
seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better
than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition
to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his
kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess,
the priests, the wise men and even the court jester.
He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him
a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to
consult the old witch, for only she would have
the answer. But the price would be high; as the
witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the
exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the
year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk
to the witch She agreed to answer the question,
but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the
most noble of the Knights of the Round Table
and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was
horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had
only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene
noises, etc He had never encountered such a
repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to
force his friend to marry her and endure such a
terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the
proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared
to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered
Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....
is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom
instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his
freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling
himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.
But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman
he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that
since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a
witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self
only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day.....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a
beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night,
in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he
prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night,
a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful
all the time because he had respected her enough to let her
be in charge of her own life.
Now.....what is the moral to this story?
The moral is....
If you don't let a woman have her own way...
Things are gonna get ugly..
_________________
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon
Grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned and said"I have to ask
You this have you had any actual experience in picking
Lemons?"
"Well as a matter of fact I have!" she replied.
"I've been divorced three times and I voted for Obama."
_____________
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he
returned from work: "I have great news for you.
Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house
instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and
kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the
happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this
way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in
with us."
____________
The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered
a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front porch.
"Madam," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner."
The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."
The man replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbors did."
_____________
I was frustrated with my teenage son's unwillingness to
prepare even the most simple meal for himself.
"David," I said in exasperation one night, "all I've
done is taken food out of the freezer and heated it in
the microwave. You could do that. You know how to push
buttons, right?" "Well," he replied, "I know how to push yours."
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Flashlights
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksjh.htm
Ollie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhg.htm
Parrot Plays Golf
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hgrf.htm
Pepsi Please
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uyr.htm
_______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Echo: Secret of the Lost Cavern
http://tinyurl.com/oeupjg
Bounty Killers
http://tinyurl.com/qf64rz
Crab Thief
http://tinyurl.com/c2raya
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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