Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I paid Charter Cable another visit yesterday regarding the movies
that Eva had downloaded on VOD even though it was supposed to have
been blocked. They called back this morning
and offered to split the costs or basically refund what they had
made on the movies plus the late charges that accrued while
I disputed the charges. Although I don't feel I completely won the
battle I am satisfied, that's what negotiations are all about and I
am sure they feel the same way. All we can do in life is make our
opinions heard and hope that people do the right things. It makes it
even worse when it is a national company but you are dealing with
people from your small community. You know that what they would do
personally and what company policy allows them so you have to
refrain from having a full blown
meltdown.
Speaking of meltdowns, there have been a few occurring at town hall
meetings lately. Our congressman, Bart Stupak has cancelled town
hall meetings in favor of one on one office meetings during the
congressional break. At a meeting with senior citizens on Health
Care this week, which had been his strongest supporters, he
was barraged with questions and when he tried laying out the party's
answers the crowd called him a liar and said they no longer
supported
him. These were not plants from the RNC but his own friends and
neighbors that are going to be affected most by the legislation he
supports speaking their minds. You can't just hide in your office or
read from a script, you have to be out there talking with the voters
if you want to stay in office.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Clock Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American tourist was visiting in the Netherlands. During his
stay in Amsterdam his watch stopped running. He asked one of the
locals where he could get his watch fixed. The tourist was guided
to the Jewish section of town. He was then directed toward a shop
that had clocks displayed in the window. The American tourist
entered the shop. Inside, behind a desk, sat an elderly Jewish man
with a full beard.
TOURIST: Hello.
JEWISH MAN: Hello.
TOURIST: I came here to have my watch fixed.
JEWISH MAN: Sorry, I don't fix watches. I am a Mohel.
TOURIST: What's a Mohel?
JEWISH MAN: A Mohel is a Jewish Man who performs ritual
circumcisions.
TOURIST: Ritual circumcisions! But why do you have all those clocks
in the window?!
JEWISH MAN: What would you want me to have in my window?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
all I did
http://www.thepostm
birth control
http://www.thepostm
if God had gotten it right
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed
with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman
screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat
on me again!"
Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and
says, "Take it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"
If Tarzan and Jane were from West Virginia, what would Cheetah be?
Pregnant.
A friend of mine is a Police Officer here in town and he mentioned
the other day that he actually had pulled Janet Jackson over... I
said, "Are you serious? What, was she speeding?" He said, "Nah, she
had a headlight out."
A knockout blonde with a fine set of knockers complains to the
doctor, "I believe I am losing my mind. I can't remember ANYTHING
after five minutes!" The doctor answers, in his most comforting
tone, "Just take off all your clothes, miss, and lie down..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
News Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man in his 40's goes in for a physical.
The doctor says "I have good news and I have bad news."
The man says, "Give me the bad news first."
Doc says, "There is a problem with your penis, you can only
get a few more erections, and then you won't have any more for the
rest of your life."
The man says, "What in the world is the good news?"
Doc says, "We know the number is exactly 25, so you can plan your
use of them accordingly.
The man leaves and drives around for a couple hours pondering his
situation, and how to confront his wife.
When he gets home he tells her, "Honey, I have good news, and
I have bad news."
She says, "Give me the good news."
He says, "I can only have 25 more erections, and then I can't have
any more, ever."
She says, "We can work around that, we will just make a list and
only use them when it is absolutely necessary to fulfil our desires,
and make the most out of each one, what in the world is the bad
news?"
He says, "I made a list, and you aren't on it.."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I said to my wife, "Guess what I heard at the bar today? Our mailman
claims to have made love to every woman in our condo except one."
And
she said, "I'll bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis in number 23."
I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a
moaner.
A pregnant woman and her husband asked the doctor if it was okay to
have sex during her pregnancy. He told them that during the first
trimester they could do it normal-style, during the second trimester
they should do it dog-style and during the third trimester they were
limited to wolf-style. "Wolf-style?
that?" "You lie next to the hole and howl," replied the doctor.
Part of me wants to tell my friends about how I had sex all night
long
last night. The other part, however, thinks it might be better if I
just summed it up as "Prison sucks."
A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his
friends
says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?" The big guy
says, "I just sit there naked on a chair, she sits on top, and I
bob
her up and down." His friend says, "You know, that don't sound too
bad." The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off,only I
got somebody to talk to."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary: Years ago, I worked for a short while in a church office.
Jill: Really? How was it?
Mary: The job was fine; the pastor was a jerk. He criticized my
work, my clothes, just everything about me. I quit after only three
months.
Jill: Wow! What an experience!
Mary: Yeah, but to show I didn't have any hard feelings about the
whole thing, I sent the preacher a gift subscription to a magazine.
Jill: You did?
Mary: Yep, I sent him a year of HUSTLER, in care of the church
office.
A nun living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the
coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with
them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch,
sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a
brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.
She walked up to the group and with a big smile asked, "Do you men
know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other. One of the workers
looked up into the steelwork and yelled, "Anybody up there know
Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers asked why.
The worker yelled, "His wife is here with his lunch."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blonde Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To prepare for his big date with a blonde hottie, the young man went
up to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself.
Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude.
Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and
managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade."
This young man was determined not to miss this date, so he put some
lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young
man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into
the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the
young man's sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be
excused, went into the kitchen, and poured himself a tall, cool,
glass of milk.
He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced an
immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what
he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his Johnson
immersed in the glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde
exclaimed, "So that's how you guys load those things!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Our Tea
http://www.silveran
Windows
http://www.poetryin
Carol w/Goodbye, My Love
http://www.carolspo
Holy Alphabet
http://www.Shangral
Night Sky
http://www.reflecti
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Surfin Surfari
GUITAR LEGEND LES PAUL DIES AT AGE 94
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Major League Baseball The Official Site
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NOAA - National Weather Service
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Guess These Accents
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
DNS Stuff
http://www.dnsstuff
Dingbat Depot
http://www.dingbatd
Graphic Tees Via Wesley
http://www.threadle
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.military
Kitty Korner
http://www.thecatga
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Movie Clips
Midgey
http://www.buffalos
Momma Is Santa
http://www.buffalos
Morning Peepers
http://www.buffalos
Moshonov
http://www.buffalos
Mother's Day
http://www.buffalos
Moulin Huge
http://www.buffalos
Love 2008
http://www.buffalos
Love Boat
http://www.buffalos
Lucha
http://www.buffalos
Luckiest Man On The Planet
http://www.buffalos
Lucky 1
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
While working in an OB-GYN clinic, a young mother came in for a
scheduled appointment requesting a diaphragm. She had her ten year
old
son with her. My friend suggested she might like to ask her son to
wait for her in the lobby, when the young mother stated, "Oh, no. I
need him to see the doctor today. You see, Johnny is taking voice
lessons. His voice coach says he can have Johnny singing from his
diaphragm in no time, and I figured if that was the case, we'd
better
get him one fast before the insurance runs out!"
The United Brethren church in Parsons, Kansas was having a program,
and one of the women was supposed to say, "The ass stuck his head
out
the window and brayed." The woman didn't want to say "ass" in church
and asked if she could change the word to "donkey". The other
members
insisted that she call it an ass, because that's what it was called
in
the Bible. One person reminded her of the story about Jesus riding
an
ass into Jerusalem. The woman worried about her line right up until
the fateful day of the program. When her turn came, she stood up in
front of the congregation and said, "The donkey stuck his ass out
the
window and brayed."
"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man
traveling
in her compartment. "I'm a naval surgeon," he replied. "Goodness!"
said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aol Toilet
http://www.buffalos
apple
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apples
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appointment
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arab blowup doll
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arab get oil
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once knew this bloke from Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born
And he wouldn't have been
If his Father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn.
Two fisherman would pull on their gators,
Then insert in their rectums vibrators.
Erect cocks they then took,
Spunked, and impaled on a hook,
Because they were both master baiters.
`~~~~
There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was incredibly short
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said
"That's not a dick it's a wart"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Repair Scratched Wood Instantly Stop covering up embarrassing
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not satisfied with the results he got from his
family doctor, a balding man sought out an
alternative treatment for his hair loss. A friend
referred him to a scientist who had been testing
a chemical that showed great promise.
Within a week after taking the recommended dosage,
a heavy growth of hair appeared on the bald man's
scalp. He was very happy at first, but soon became
alarmed when hair began to grow uncontrollably all
over his body.
After two weeks, he returned to see the scientist.
"What the hell did you give me?" he demanded. "It
was DNA from a Woolly Mammoth."
"Aha!" exclaimed the man. "That would explain the
size of my balls!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the
backseat of his car. A knock was heard on the window and there stood
a
cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said that he
wouldn't
arrest him if he could be next.
The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend. When
he
got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf. The cop said there
was
no reason to be scared, because he wouldn't arrest him if he could
be
next.
The guy said 'I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me, it's just that
I've
never fucked a cop before!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1667
Only Katie....
The dogs go out at night to do their thing about 7:30...
Soon Rudy and Sandi are back in, but Katie likes to run.
Eight O'Clock, no Katie..
Rudy: Maybe she is dead.
Sandi: You know her, she is just running. She will run out of gas
soon.
Rudy: Maybe some kidnappers got her.
Sandi: You always think the worst. She will be at the door soon.
8:15... no Katie.
8:30..
Ring Ring Ring
BJ: Hello... What? She is where?
Click!
BJ: I have to go pick up Katie!
Rudy: The cops got her and she is in jail?
BJ: No, she is at the dog groomer.
Sandi: She is trying to get her hair done at this time of night?
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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