THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings thetune without the words and never stops at all."
Emily Dickinson
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Winners take chances Like everyone else, they fear failing,
but they refuse to let fear control them.
Winners don't give up. When life gets rough, they hang in
until the going gets better.
Winners are flexible. They realize
there is more than one way and are willing to try others.
Winners know they are not perfect. They respect their
weaknesses while making the most of their strengths.
Winners fall but they don't stay down.
They stubbornly refuse
to let a fall keep them from climbing.
Winners don't blame fate for their failures,
nor luck for their successes.
Winners accept responsibility for their lives.
Winners are positive thinkers who see good in all things.
From the ordinary, they make the extraordinary.
Winners believe in the path they have chosen even when it
is hard, even when others can't see where they are going.
Winners are patient. They know a goal is only worthy
as the effort that is required to achieve it.
Winners are people that believe in themselves.
They make this world a better place to be.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________
THE COMICS
put him to rest
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p040.html
visible
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p041.html
hold off
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p042.html
selllin pictures
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p043.html
pedophile
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p044.html
new
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p045.html
computer problems
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p046.html
God the inventor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p047.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Trump's beauty pageants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6051.html
Obama and Oprah
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6052.html
Ronald Reagan and the evils of socialism
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6053.html
racism
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6054.html
scary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6056.html
_________________
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so
they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught
to remember things by association.
A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking
with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.
"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.
"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower,
you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns,
what's that flower's name?"
"A rose?" asked the neighbor.
"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward
his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the
Instructor we took the memory class from?"
_______________
Excuses, excuses...
Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of
creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are
some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.
A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital because had
been stung by a bee, and was allergic. "There's the bee right there,"
he said, pointing to his dashboard. The officer looked. The bee was
not only dead, but in a advanced state of decomposition.
A man was doing 70 mph on the shoulder of I-95, avoiding the
bumper-to-bumper traffic. After a third of a mile, he was
stopped by an officer. He jumped out of the car, brushing off
his pants, and told the cop he had dropped a cigarette on his lap.
"I was looking for a place to park," he explained.
A speeder said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby.
"My wife is ovulating," he told the officer. "I have to get home right now."
An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driver
whether he had seen the speed-limit signs, the man responded,
"I went by them so fast I probably missed them."
A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenue
doing 79 mph. "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the
carburetor," he told the officer. For good measure, he added,
"If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all."
"I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late they're
going to enforce the bench warrant."
_______________
A virile, middle aged Italian gentleman named Guido
was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he
managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman.
Things progressed to the point where he invited her
back to his apartment and, after some small talk,
they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her
senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with
a smile, 'So, you finish?' She paused for a second,
frowned, and replied, 'No.' Surprised, Guido reached
for her and the rattling resumed.This time she thrashed
about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex
finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, You finish?'
Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile,
cuddles closer to him and softly says, 'No.'
Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman
unsatisfied, Guido reaches for the woman yet again.
Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it,
but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and
ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido falls onto
his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he
looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again,
'You finish?' Barely able to speak, the beautiful
blond whispers in his ear, 'No, I'm Norwegian.'
__________
A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on
display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache.
It is entitled - "Got Milk."
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white
mustache. It is entitled - "Forgot Milk."
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white
mustache. It is entitled - "Not Milk."
______________
One day a brunette, a redhead and a blonde decide to go through their
daughter's purses. So, the brunette goes through her daughter's purse
and finds cigarettes. She says, "Oh my god, I'm so ashamed! My
Daughter smokes." So, the redhead goes through her daughter's purse
and finds an empty can of beer. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed!
My daughter drinks." So, finally, it's the blonde's turn and she
finds a used condom. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed! My daughter
has a penis."
_______________
Sam and Abe, now in their eighties, first met in grade school. Their
relationship now is playing cards, playing jokes and making bets.
One day Sam calls Abe and says, "I bet you that mine is longer soft
than yours is hard. A thousand dollars..."
Abe replies, "How can that be? If you know anythingabout biology you...."
Sam interrupts, "I called for a bet, not a lecture. Mine YES OR NO?"
Abe says, "OK, OK. I'll take that bet. How long is yours soft?"
Sam answers, "Eleven years!"
__________________
BUFFALO BILL
Men's Locker room
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010907.htm
Magic Finger Find The G Spot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010908.htm
My new Philosophy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010909.htm
My SS Check
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010910.htm
______________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Bathroom Funnies
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000128.html
Batman Porn Video
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000129.html
BBC America
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000130.html
_________________
FUN PAGES
Dog Fight 2
Cindy's Travels: Flooded Kingdom
http://tinyurl.com/lvsoru
Hit Stick
http://tinyurl.com/d59s75
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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