THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Monday is here. It was a really hot day yest.
And for the weekend, temps climbed well over
95 degrees. Which is pretty hot for here in West Michigan.
The humidity made it feel like a anvil on my
chest, trying to breath yest. I didn't do much
all day. Just sat in front of the air conditioner.
High humidity always manages to create problems
for me in breathing. Couple of times my oxygen meter
reported my oxy level to be down to 75 percent.
Had to put the oxygen hose on.
Funny how dogs have a 6th sense. Turk the dog aka
Carlos the rat must have realized I was having some
difficulty. He gave me lots of sympathetic doggy kissers.
Then, finally, last night it poured down rain.
The lightning and thunder, my son says, was awesome.
He gets all excited over thunderstorms. I, however,
slept dreamlessly. I am glad as I look outside.
no storm damage, and we didn't lose our electric power.
Many folks in my neighborhood are not quite so lucky.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman.
____________
THE COMICS
tough love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n020.html
driving me nuts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n021.html
on your birthday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n022.html
twins
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n023.html
hey Joe
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n024.html
artificial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n025.html
people like you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n026.html
your mother
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n027.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
and you thought waterboarding was bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5983.html
fed ex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5984.html
extreme gymnastics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5985.html
eating a live octopus
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5986.html
the milkman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5987.html
lottery winner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5988.html
cop impersonator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5989.html
Sadly neglected by her husband, a horny housewife
turned to her next-door neighbor for advice.
"Why don't you order your milk from the milkman"
was the suggestion, "and when the bill comes,
see if you can settle it with sex."
This seemed like an excellent idea, and sure enough,
when the bill was presented, the milkman was delighted
to settle for a long and energetic screw. Putting his
pants back on, the milkman reached for the bill to
mark it "Paid in Full" "Oh, no you don't," said the
housewife, grabbing the bill. "You brought me this milk
a quart at a time, and that's the way I'm gonna
pay for it."
_______________
This retarded kid is starting his first day of school.
He walks down to the bus stop and waits for the bus
to take him to school. The bus eventually drives up and
opens the door. "Hello Mr Schoolbus Driver" he says in
a slurred voice. Then the bus door closes and drives
off without picking him up. He went back home, told his
parents and figured he would try again.
The next morning, he stood at the bus stop, the bus
came around and opened the door. In a slurred voice
the boy says ,"Hello Mr Busdriver!" To which the bus
driver closed the door and drove off.
The boy went back to his parents and told them, to which
they were majorly pissed off. The next morning, they
came down with the boy to the bus stop to talk to the driver.
The bus came past and the door opened. The father of
the boy asks, "My boy needs to go to school each morning,
but you keep closing the door and driving off, how come?".
The bus driver says in a slurred voice,
"He keeps making fun of me!"
________________
A major International company was looking to hire
someone for an important position, so they interviewed
dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to
three people from different parts of the world. In an
attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them
all the same question to answer within 24 hours, and the
one with the best answer would get the job.
The question was: A man and a woman are in bed, nude.
The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man,
and the man is lying on his side facing the woman's back.
What is the man's name? After the 24 hours was up, the
three were called up to give their answers.
The first, from Canada, says "My answer is,
there is no answer." The second, from England, says
"My answer is that there is no way to determine the answer
with the information we were given."
The third one, from Scotland, says "I'm not exactly sure,
but I have it narrowed down to two names. It's either:
Willie Turner or Willie Nailer." The Scotsman got the job ...
________________
One Liners...
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley
_______________
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train
smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred
yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the
driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given
the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and
forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly
demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his
story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when
it was over. "You did superbly under cross examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the darn lantern
was lit!"
_______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Autoquiz
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000092.html
Avalanche
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000093.html
Awareness Test
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000094.html
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
Italian Chewing Gum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akloo.htm
Dead or Alive Holly Vance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghy.htm
James David Manning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjik.htm
Jeff Dunham Achmed the Dead
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdes.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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