Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
From the Archives
The Navy decided to send me through firefighting school four
times in the nine years I spent in, three at San Diego and one at
Great Lakes during Boot Camp along with the Gas Chamber.
The last time in San Diego was after leaving shore duty and I
figured it would be a breeze, like the other ones. We got to the
stage of investigating a fire. I was scene leader and the team
was comprised of people that had no experience in a DC station
but still things were going well. The investigator felt the
watertight
door with the back of his hand and screamed," hot hatch." and the
firefighting team moved in to start cooling him as he undogged the
hatch hinge side first. All by the book, except the nozzle man
went right past the spray position on the nozzle to straight stream
flattening the investigator against the wall. This was a pretty good
sized guy and he was a little upset but the instructor stopped
the exercise and told us to start over with everyone in the same
position. The same thing happened again, handle all the way
back to straight stream and I had to jump in between to keep
the investigator from attacking the nozzle man.
After that we moved to the two engineering fires and the first one
went excellent. 5,000 gallons of fuel oil in the bilges, and a can
of gas in an engine room or boiler room mock-up, two portable
foam mixers with two cans of AFFF in case anything goes wrong
and two hose teams in rain gear. After killing the first fire
everybody
was feeling pretty brave. They torched the fire and then asked
everyone if the fire was hot enough yet and everyone said no. They
asked again if the fire was hot enough and everyone said no and
then the nozzle man screamed, " My Jacket is melting." and he
dropped the nozzle and ran. I was second man back on the hose and
I shoved the guy ahead of me forward to the nozzle and we
attacked the fire with both hoses and had it out probably in thirty
seconds. The instructor had them relight the fire and took the
nozzle man inside so that he could quote, " experience what it was
like to be inside a fire and find out that someone had abandoned his
station." We didn't screw around the second time and went in and
put the fire out right away.
I fought a couple of fires on the Constellation, the first because
someone decided to store a semi- load of pipe insulation in
cardboard boxes in an uptakes space. The second was a storeroom
fire in the yards and it burnt up every roll of toilet paper and
paper
plates in the storeroom. We got called to GQ at 0600 and PSNS
fire department came onboard and finished putting the fire out
about three hours later. I was glad I never got a chance to test
any of my fuel oil fire training. A friend was the one who caused
the fire on the Kitty Hawk that killed six people. He had cleaned a
fuel oil transfer strainer and hadn't put the guards back on. The
strainer
sprayed fuel oil from a bad gasket on a steam line and the fire
sucked all the oxygen out of the space in under thirty seconds.
The watch had started to reel out twin agent hoses and died
from asphyxiation before they had a chance to turn them on.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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THE WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been
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sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight
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down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near
anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to
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ZPTD00Dah
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Clinton Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were sitting at the bar, drinking
in
silence. Suddenly, Hillary turns and without warning, cold cocks
Obama, knocking him off his barstool.
After a moment Obama regains enough of his senses to say "What the
hell did you do that for?"
Clinton replies "That was for destroying the World Trade Centers!"
Barack responds "I didn't destroy the World Trade Centers. That was
Osama Bin Laden."
Clinton answers "Osama, Obama - same damn thing."
Obama shakes his head, climbs back onto his stool and continues with
his drinking. Several minutes later, he turns to Clinton and without
warning, cold cocks her and knocks her to the floor.
Getting to her knees and shaking her head to clear it, she demands
"What the hell did you do that for?"
Obama responds "That was for lying to the Grand Jury, obstructing
justice and for disgracing our country and the Office of the
President."
Clinton answers "I didn't do any of that, it was my husband Bill
Clinton."
Barack responds "Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton - same damn thing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
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There was once a boy named Johnny Go Deeper.
He attended a school where his father was the
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He began the conversation by saying. "Mrs.
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Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take
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not taking my skirt off".
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Mrs. Johnson then removed her skirt.
Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take
off your bra and panties".
Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
not taking my bra and panties off".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".
Mrs. Johnson then removed her bra and panties.
Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please lay on
the table".
Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny,I will
not lay on the table".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".
Mrs. Johnson lays on the table.
So Johnny jumped on top of her and proceeded
to try to penetrate her.
All of a sudden his mother walks in and yells
"JOHNNY GO DEEPER"
So Johnny replies "I'm trying, I'm trying".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~
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2. Gotta cigarette?
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~~~~~~
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2. I think I hear my mom calling me ---- see ya
3. OOPS, the condom broke!
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Smart Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest:
Smart Ass Answer #5:
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but
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Smart Ass Answer #3:
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When
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a
ticket.
Smart Ass Answer #2:
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reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of
gas."
Smart Ass Answer #1:
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class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I
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Movie Clips
1426
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Mrs Hughes
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1802
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Guido was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
after
another. After the sixth one... a man on the bench across from him
said,
"Son,you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you
acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Guido replied,
"My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked,
"Did your grandfather eat six candy bars at a time?"
Little Guido answered,
"No, he minded his own fucking business."
The 15 year old girl is going on her first date, and her mother
warns
her not to let the boy put his hands up her dress. The girl agrees,
and
the mother is reassured that her daughter will not let the boy put
his
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nosh they are parked in lover's lane. He makes a move and tries to
put
his hands up her dress. She stops him once, twice and three times.
He's
all disappointed. Then she tells him why, "I promised my mother that
I
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hands
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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as big as
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a weirdo named Cox
Who loved to sniff everyone's socks.
Said he: "Sure, it's stinky,
But don't call me kinky
I'll send you back home in a box!"
Last Monday, a skipper named Keef
Ran his cruiser aground on a reef.
Tomorrow, he'll be
A lieutenant (jg),
And his Naval career will be brief!
A singer named Ursula Greville
Had a lousy affair with the devil
Her bush was so thick
It obstructed his prick
So he sent for the Barber of Seville
<Snagged by>
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Lucy loved sucking her thumb so much. She was now five years
old
but hadn´t stopped the bad habit. With an effort to stop her from
this
bad practice, Lucy´s mother lied to her that her stomach will swell
and
will finally burst if she doesn´t stop the habit. The lie scared
little
Lucy that she actually stopped the habit immediately.
A month later, expectant Mrs. Blecker pays them a visit. When Lucy
comes
in to greet her she stops first to stare at Mrs. Blecker, then goes
ahead with her greeting. Mrs. Blecker notices the hesitation and
asks,
"Hi, Lucy! I guess you are wondering where I´ve been, aren´t you?"
The little girl answers, "Not exactly, Mrs. Blecker, I know what
you´ve
been doing and you better stop it fast."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charles was taking his out-of-town buddy Clyde on a walking tour of
the
city. Clyde saw a good-looking girl and asked Charles if he knew
her.
"Yes, that's Jacqueline -- one hundred and twenty dollars."
A little further along, Clyde spotted an even more stunning girl and
asked if Charles happened to know her also.
"Yes, that Rosalynn -- one hundred and eighty dollars."
After the process was repeated twice more, Clyde remarked, "Good
Heavens! Aren't there any respectable women in this city?"
"Of course!" replied Charles, highly offended. "But you couldn't
afford
them either."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1669
Katie's Lesson
Rudy: So what did lesson did you learn from yesterday?
Katie: Yesterday? Lesson?
Sandi: You know what we mean. When Daddy had to pick you up.
Katie: Oh that. I always know to nod my head when father is
speaking
he thinks I am listening when I do that.
Rudy: Katherine! Did you not learn anything? You could have been
lost, hurt, killed even.
Katie: Oh Heavens, I suppose so. You are being so dramatic. Well,
I
guess I should not have walked with that stranger.
Sandi: You are such a blonde for a red-haired dog Katie. You need
more common sense.
Katie: Cents?
Sandi: You need to think clearer.
Katie: Oh, I get it. Yes, I suppose so. I was scared. I did not
know
where home was. I mean, where was my DVD player, my wine coolers?
Rudy: Your father?
Katie: Gulp! Waaah! I hadn't thought about that. What if I lost
my
family? I need to be more careful.
Sandi: That is our point.
Katie: I guess I get to careless sometimes.
Rudy: She got it!!!!!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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