THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
~John Vance Cheney
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2 Chop `n Scoops
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
HIGH FAT DIETS-CNN...
By now, we've all heard that high-fat diets are bad for our
health in the long run. But what about the short-term?
A new study on rats finds that 10 days of eating a high-fat
diet caused short-term memory loss and made exercise difficult.
While the finding may not seem a big surprise, the researcher
say it might suggest that high-fat diets make humans lazy and stupid.
"Western diets are typically high in fat and are associated with
long-term complications, such as obesity, diabetes, and heart
failure, yet the short-term consequences of such diets have been
given relatively little attention," said Andrew Murray, co-author
of the study and currently at the University of Cambridge in the
United Kingdom.
You know, between my high carb eating habits and my oxygen deprivation
due to my emphasyma, I suppose its remarkable I can think at all.
Fortunately, I have the war department to do any such required activity
for me. She does her best on the diet thingie, giving me all kinds
of great guidance, altho her efforts tend to be hampered by an
unwilling participant.
So here is the truth of it:
"A long weekend spent eating hotdogs, French fries,
and pizza might be a great treat for our taste buds, but they might
send our muscles and brains out to lunch."
I suppose it is a good thing that every year, our federal government
passes more and more laws to keep us safe and govern our lives.
Essentially, it's "big brother doing our thinking for us."
It gives us additional protection against stupidity for those who
don't have a "war department" to look after them:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
I'm worried
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n060.html
pizza online
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n061.html
only the dog knows for sure
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n062.html
a misunderstanding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n063.html
yep thats my wife
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n064.html
just like mommy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n065.html
too cold
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n066.html
___________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
sensual
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6009.html
bus ride
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6010.html
bad breath
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6011.html
funny prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6012.html
(might take a little bit to load)
the daily show with Jon Stewart
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6013.html
Pee Wee Herman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies6014.html
__________________
Two 80 year-old geezers are driving down the road when they hear
the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement:
"It makes you feel young again."
John looks at Sylvester and says, "We need to pull
over and get a bottle of that stuff!"
Sylvester agrees and the two old geezers pull over and get a
bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive.
About one mile later Sylvester asks, "Well John, do you feel young yet?"
"No," replies John.
So they pull over and take four more tablespoons a piece and
continue to drive down the road.
A couple of miles later, Sylvester asks, "John, do you feel younger?"
"No," replies John, "But I sure did a childish thing!"
_____________
An Officer stops a driver for running a red light.
The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer
demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's
ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.
When he gets done with writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the
lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He
then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy signs
the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to
the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The Mountie says, "That's so when we go to court,
I'll remember that you're an Asshole!"
Two months later they're in court. The "Violator" has such a
bad driving record he is about to lose his license and has
hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the
red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;
"Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you
issued my client?" Officer responds, "Yes sir, that is the
defendants copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on
this ticket you don't normally make?"
Officer: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative
there is an "AH," underlined."
Lawyer: "What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
Officer: "Aggressive and Hostile Sir."
Lawyer: "Aggressive and Hostile?"
Officer: "Yes Sir?
Lawyer: "Officer, Are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole?"
Officer: "Well Sir, you know your client better than I do!
______________
It was their fifth anniversary,
and Nina and Lloyd had just returned from the movies.
Nina was feeling romantic.
"Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?" she crooned.
"Why not?" Lloyd grunted.
"Didn't I love you through 3 other shades?"
_______________
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an
exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided
he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor
that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for
him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room,
Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty
miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet
anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee,
he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone
else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over
to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed,
"You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight
towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and
fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked,
"Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
________________
She said: "I had to go again today to have blood test done."
Her friend: "Oh, I hate that!"
She said: "I do too, but I try to make jokes about it.
When the technician says, "You'll feel a little prick,"
I come back with,
"Well, hell, I could have stayed married for that!"
BUFFALO Bill
Midgey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abjhuh.htm
Momma Is Santa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agfrtt.htm
Morning Peepers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgff.htm
Moshonov
http://www.buffaloschips.com/afgftt.htm
_______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Bad Formula One Crash
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000104.html
Bad Haircut
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000105.html
Bad Headache
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000106.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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