THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The true civilization is where every man gives to
every other every right that he claims for himself.
Robert Green Ingersoll, 1833 - 1899
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!!
So how many of you went out to watch the meteor shower last
night? It is kindof difficult to watch the skies in the city.
Too many lights and trees. Me and the war department
decided to drive out to the country to watch. We
managed to find more misquitos than anything else. Altho
we did see a couple meteors. Certainly I wouldn't call it
"fantastic."
The annual Perseid meteor shower is expected to put on a
good show this week for those willing to get up in the wee
hours of the morning and wait patiently for the shooting stars.
In North America, the best time to watch will be between
midnight to 5 a.m. on Wednesday, Aug. 12, but late Tuesday
night and also Wednesday night could prove fruitful, weather permitting.
The Perseids are always reliable, and sometimes rather spectacular.
The only things that puts a damper on the August show are bad
weather or bright moonlight. Unfortunately this week, as the
Perseids reach their peak Tuesday and Wednesday nights,
the moon will be high in the sky, outshining the fainter meteors.
Still, skywatchers around the globe will have a good chance of
spotting the brighter meteors. Some already are enjoying the show.
We did, however, manage to find it an ideal opportunity for
some hugging and some smoochin. Which seemed to make it all worth
while:) If you want to catch them tonight, they are saying that
you will have good luck tomorrow morning early, like 4 or 5 am.
Good luck with that.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
This Old Tool has been reintroduced
in Washington D.C. by The New Administration!
Are You Starting To Feel It Yet?
___________
THE COMICS
we are not lost
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knockers
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almost done
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Obama
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Mr Wiggles
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your blog
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he did it
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the police
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cell phone
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______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
too much speed
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pms survival tips
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the price is right cheater
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cash for clunkers
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animal miracles
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a concert in South Korea
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There once was a fellow McSweeney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini.
_________________
An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he says,"
I am so stricken. I have chest pains, headaches, back pains,
nausea, arthritis, constipation, stomach cramps, earaches,
burning in the eyes, congested lungs..."
"Sir," says the doctor, "you complain you have so many
things. What don't you have?"
The man answers, "Teeth."
____________
Jane: I can't understand why men are so afraid of commitment!
Martha: Tell me about it! I lived with one guy for a year
and a half, and I finally had to give him an ultimatum.
Jane: What did you say?
Martha: I just told him, "Look, either you tell me your last
name, or get your shit out of my house !"
_________________
A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he
noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and
asked, "Sir, what will you have?"
The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."
The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man
had ever had.The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"
The man answered "oh, about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity',
'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs',
etc.......
The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a
different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked
and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."
Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"
This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started
discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the
Dodgers to do this weekend.
The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a
stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??
This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50".
The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,
"A-r-e y-o-u-r p-e-o-p-l-e h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A?
_______________
TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMACARE:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you
enter the trailer park."
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to
Goodwill last month.
(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is
not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE ON OBAMACARE:
(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct Tape.
_____________
A man is showering in a locker room with his buddy when he
notices for the first time, that his friend is very well
endowed. "Damn Bob, you're hung!"
Jim exclaims. "I wasn't always this big, says Bob,
"I had to exercise and work for it."
"What do you mean?"
Jim asked. "Well Jim," Bob responds; "every day for the past
two years I've spent an hour each night rubbing it with butter.
I know it sounds crazy but it actually grew 4 inches. Why
don't YOU give it a try?" Jim agrees and the two say good bye.
A few weeks later the two are in the same locker room and Bob
asks Jim how his "BIGGERIN" project was coming along.
Jim replied; "I did what you said, Bob, but I've actually
gotten smaller! -- I lost two inches already!"
"Did you do everything I told you? -- an hour each day with butter?" asks Bob.
"Well, I was out of butter, so I've been using Crisco."
"Crisco?!?" Bob yelled; "Dammit Jim, don't you know? Crisco's shortening!..."
________________
BUFFALO Bill
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____________
FUN PAGES FROM LORRAINE
Blazing Squad
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Crazy Tyre
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Azada: Ancient Magic
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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