Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I am at a loss for words at the moment. So rather than subject you
to buffalo babble I instead offer you a couple of extra jokes.
Jill's car was involved in three minor accidents over several years.
Each time she had a different part of the car repaired. The last
time, she asked what it would cost to repaint the front end - the
only portion not yet touched.
The mechanic suggested, "Why don't you just paint a bull's eye on
it?
My son is the manager of a glass and window company and advertised
in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is
hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job
said he had over 20 years of experience.
"Where have you worked as a glazier?" my son asked.
The man replied, "Dunkin' Donuts."
"Now, what are you planning to do about that excess weight you're
carrying around?" the doctor asked the patient.
"I just can't seem to lose the weight," the patient said. "Must be
an overactive thyroid."
"The tests show your thyroid is perfectly normal," the doctor said.
"If anything is overactive, it's your fork."
Enjoy the chips..
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one
day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina,
and said, "Johnny. This is where you come from." Johnny went to
school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer
to him as "Lucky Johnny." "Why?" one asked. Johnny held his fingers
an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a turd."
"A survey asked people if they would consider having sex with
somebody for money. 41% of the people asked said they would if the
offer was large enough. The average woman said it had to be $100,000
and the average man said, 'I don't know, how much do you have on you
right now?'"
- Craig Kilborn
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex
positions.
One says "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other
cowboy. "What is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your girlfriend on all fours, mount her
from behind, and reach around and cup her breasts in your hands.
Then you whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your
sister's,' and then try to hold on for 8 seconds."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Clintons Fault
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Clintons New Home
http://www.sydesjok
Clintons Speech
http://www.sydesjok
retired
http://www.thepostm
only time
http://www.thepostm
no kidding
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, 'You appear to be
in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to
ask me about?'
'In fact, I do,' said the old man. 'After I have sex I am usually
hot and sweaty, and then, after I have it with her the second time,
I am usually cold and chilly.'
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, 'Everything
appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you'd like
to discuss with me?'
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her: 'Your husband had an unusual concern.
He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with
you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time.
Do you know why?'
'Oh that crazy old fart, she replied. 'That's because the first time
is usually in August and the second time is in January'
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher asks kindergarten students what kind of medicines they know
and what they are used for.
First pupil: 'Tylenol?'
Teacher: 'Very good! And what is it used for?'
Pupil: 'It is used for headaches'
Second pupil: 'Nytol Teacher'
Teacher: 'Excellent. And what it is used for?'
Pupil: 'To help you sleep'
Now it is Johnny's turn and he says: 'Viagra'
Teacher, slightly shocked: 'Johnny, What do you think is it used
for?'
Johnny: 'It can be used for diarrhea'
Teacher: 'Who told you this?'
Johnny: 'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father 'Take a
Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Change Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIGNS YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE. . .
10. While watching the news, you spot your spouse marching
in a Gay Pride parade.
9. The bank notifies you that your paycheck has bounced.
8. On a densely foggy morning, while driving in the center
lane of a highway, you suddenly run out of gas.
7. You arrive at your wedding to find, two ushers, four bridesmaids
and six pallbearers.
6. You ask your doctor for a physical and he replies, "I'm sorry, I
don't do autopsies."
5. The IRS invites you to a weenie-roast and the invitation begins
with, "Dear Weenie. . "
4. While surfing the internet, you suddenly get the following
dialogue box: ICBM launch successful. Confirm strike? (Y/N)
3. You hear that your dentist has been arrested for using
radioactive material as tooth-filling.
2. At the vacant house next door, you notice a U-Haul van
and a truck which looks similar to the ones on old Beverly
Hillbillies TV show.
1. Your twelve year old daughter suddenly develops a craving for
pickles and ice cream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"My wife is the most suspicious person in the world," complained the
harried husband to a sympathetic friend. "If I come home early, she
thinks I'm after something. And if I come home late, she thinks I've
already had it."
Persuasion was necessary, but the amorous man had finally gotten his
girlfriend between the sheets. In due course he made love to her,
finally burying his sword in her sheath and beginning to screw away.
"Be careful," she panted. "I think I have a weak heart."
"Don't worry," he said, without missing a stroke. "I'll take it very
easy when I get up to the heart!"
Thought for the Day: The Bible teaches to love your neighbor, and
Kama-Sutra explains how.
Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is
it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to
get cancer?"
"Yes, Bubba, that is true."
Bubba asked, "And people are suing the fast food restaurants for
making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers
and fries, is that true, mister lawyer?"
"Sure is Bubba, but why do you ask?"
"Cause I was thinkin' maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly
women I've been wakin' up with
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pope Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin
phrase, "Tuti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.
A women's rights group approached the Pope the next day. They
noticed that the pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind
The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tuti
Homini, et Tuti Femini" - Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.
The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope. They said that
they noticed that he blessed man kind and woman kind, and asked if
he could also bless gay people. The Pope said, "Sure".
The next day, the Pope concluded his sermon with, "Tuti Homini, et
Tuti Femini, et Tuti Fruiti."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/This Love I Have For You
http://silverandgol
"The Child in Us"
http://www.poetryin
carolyn w/ Little Spot In Heaven ~ Marty Robbins
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l
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
IE8 Speed Tweak
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Tech Terms.com
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Create Pdf Files
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips
Alabama Death Penalty Execution
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Aussie Beaches
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Baseball Flash
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Best Pool Shot By A Naked White Chick
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Best Work Boot
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Korokurum Bridges
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Look
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Microsoft No More Keyboards
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uh 60 IN mOSUL
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Muschel
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A yuppie business woman in town for an important meeting, checked
into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing
that her favorite suit had been badly wrinkled during the flight,
she phoned the front desk and asked to have the hotel's valet
service pick up the suit for pressing. Almost immediately after she
hung up the phone, a knock sounded at the door and there stood an
elderly Chinaman. Impressed by the speedy service, the career woman
exclaimed, "My, you come lickety-split!
Chinaman, "I come get laundry."
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
---Groucho Marx
A stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course
problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his
replies. "Are you feeling OK?" he asked. "Well, to be honest, I have
this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet," she admitted.
"Is there a name for my condition?" "Why yes, there is," he said, as
he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called
'Good News'."
Q: What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
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Toon Chips
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Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sure you can imagine
As plain as you can be
The place is Picadilly
The player He and She
She whispered "Will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."
She said "I'm frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times.
And said it can be sore."
Then finally contented
Laid back and relaxed
a bit Quickly and readily
he bent over her
And then he started it
It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size
"Calm yourself," he whispered
His face was filled with a grin
"Try and open a bit wider
So I can get it in".
"It's coming now,"he whispered.
"I know."she cried in a bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I am having this.."
And with final effort
She gave a frightened shout.
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.
She lay back quite contented
Sighed and gave a smile
She said," I am glad I came now
You made it worth my while."
Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find...
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ten Signs He Wants To Get Laid
1. Watching a nature show where animals fornicate, he keeps winking
and doing the eyebrow thing.
2. When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly
replies, "The skin bus to tuna town," and then laughs until he
cries.
3. You note that integrity is so important in a man, he notes that
what he looks for in a "chick" is "you know."
4. He whispers,"you'
at your face and says, "oh you, too."
5. When you comment on the rarity of men these days who seek mature
relationships, he giggles quite a bit.
6. In conversation with others, he refers to you as his "quality
tail."
7. Washing dishes after you've cooked him dinner for the first time,
you reach behind you to take the paper towels off the paper-towel
rod and then realize that you don't own a paper-towel rod.
8. When you're insulted by his "motel" suggestion at the end of your
first date, he looks impressed and says, "hotel."
9. When you proudly recount your glorious high school valedictory
speech to him, he praises "your multi-talented mouth."
10. When you tell him what you do for a living, he stares at your
breasts and loudly asks, "What do they do?"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took himself off to the
doctors. "Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little paper bag.
"Hmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a blood test
and see what that shows, come back and see me in a couple of days."
The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the
results.
"What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper bag.
"I'm afraid you are HIV positive!" said the doctor.
"No, I can't be I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little paper
bag.
"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug
users?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood
transfusion?
"NO, I don't have a passport - I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Well", said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual relationship?
"NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just little paper
bag!"
"Then there can be only one explanation.
mother must have been a carrier."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1677
Helpful Hints
BJ walks into the room while Sandi, Katie and Rudy are working on a
list.
BJ: What are you guys working on?
Rudy: Err ah it is just a list.
BJ: A list of what?
Katie: Stuff.
BJ: What kind of stuff?
Sandi: Well, here goes:
Reasons Your Dog Wants the Postman Dead
8. Paper boys are too young to have that natural gamey flavor.
7. He's too busy to play, too big to eat and too quick to hump, yet
he comes back day after day, that wicked tease.
6. Those vaccination reminders from the vet don't deliver
themselves, now do they?
5. It's a sport. What, you humans think you're the only ones who
like to hunt?
4. Postman Steak, Postman Roast, Postman Top Sirloin, Postman
Hamburger, Postman Ribs....
3. The pea in his whistle is made from a dehydrated dog testicle.
2. The Grand Slam is mailman, plumber, landscaper and meter reader.
and the Number 1 Reason Your Dog Wants the Postman Dead...
1. Dead postman = 206 new bones to bury.
BJ: Gulp! You actually haven't...
Rudy: No, of course not, we just write about it.
BJ: Whew!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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