Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I sent Sandy and Buffy off on missions of great importance this
afternoon, in other words rounding up some meat to fill the freezer
with and lottery tickets while I watched Eva and worked on the
lists. So far Eva has interrupted me to put a dress on one of my
stuffed buffaloes, no idea what's going on there unless it is
supposed to be some kind of insult to my masculinity. Eva was a
bit upset that she didn't get included in this outing but we will
get
even later when I show her how to make mom and grandma voodoo
dolls out of spare Barbie parts.
Speaking of weird things, weirder than me, anyhow, last night I was
listening to a show on Coast to Coast about giants being spotted
in England and other places that are 8 to 10 feet high. Somehow this
all ties in with the Mayan calendar, end of the world as we know it
scenario. Supposedly these giants are aliens, checking us out as
a food source. Even worse they can only be killed by copper bullets,
large caliber, solid copper bullets. They made it perfectly clear
that
copper jacketed bullets wouldn't work. I guess I could get a couple
of
cases made up to add to my arsenal of silver, gold, and Kryptonite
bullets. ( Hey you never know when Superman might lose it and have
to be taken out.) Personally I think it is only a genetic
engineering
program from China to grow players for the NBA. So before you
let an 8 footer on the street have both barrels of 10ga. copper
slugs
you better check, he may no be there to make burgers out of you,
he might be the next Pistons Center.
If our government really knows the world is coming to an end in
2012, would they do anything differently?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before you write another check to your car insurance company,
compare car insurance quotes online!
Get multiple quotes in minutes.
Visit Car Insurance In 10 Minutes.
We can help you save as much as $500 a year on your auto insurance.
Compare quotes online for free.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Weather Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young man is being pursued by a young admiring woman. Eventually,
he
has no choice but to grant her a private audience.
Relentlessly she asks him for a quickie in the sack though he tried
hard
to refuise her. Finally giving in to her demands for carnal
knowledge,
he says "Ok, but there is one condition: I have a particular fetish
that
you must perform in order to sleep with me."
"I'll do anything for you" replies the succubus. "Just name it."
So the man says to the woman, "You know ... I really enjoy it when
there's a sort of lightning effect. So you must reach over to that
switch on the wall and flick it on and off every few seconds."
The woman agrees and starts flicking the light switch off with her
left
arm. She then asks "Now can I fuck you?"
"Not quite yet" replies the man. "Lightning is nice, but it doesn't
really mean much without thunder. So with your right leg, I want you
to
open and close the cabinet door whenever you flick the light on."
"Ok" says the horny young maid, and she begins to coordinate her
flicks
and clacks. "Now can I fuck you?" she asks as she is switching
between
arm and leg movements.
"Not quite yet" replies the man. "This is all very nice, but there
can't
really be thunder and lightning without wind. I'd like you to reach
behind your head with your right hand and open and shut the
windows."
She says "Ok" and begins opening the shutter and closing it with her
right hand. And of course, it's raining and some drops are coming in
the
window.
So there she is, making lightning with her left hand, creating
thunder
with her right leg, and using her right hand to make wind and rain.
Desperate and beyond understanding of his fetish, the young woman
finally begs him "NOW can we fuck? PLEASE?!"
And the young man looks at her shocked and says, "What do you mean
'have
sex'? In this weather?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the airlines
http://www.thepostm
he misunderstood
http://www.thepostm
I'm allowed
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customs Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all
of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make
his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the
border.
"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.
"Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the
agent.
"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture
of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on
the other."
"This I gotta see," replied the agent.
With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his
behind.
"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip
back to Chicago ."
"Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago?"
The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle."
Heather
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snuggie For Dogs - As Seen on TV
Snuggie for Dogs is the ultra soft, luxurious blanket coat with
sleeves designed to keep your pet totally warm and cozy all year.
Your dog will love wearing its very own Snuggie while going for a
walk, playing in the yard, taking a nap, eating or playing with a
toy. This fleece blanket is machine washable so you and your happy
hound can share years of warmth and comfort! Perfect for all dogs,
big and small.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scotch Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old
scotch.
The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he
pours
a shot of 2-year old scotch.
The patron takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at
the
bartender: "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!"
Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch.
The patron takes a sip...same reaction. But the bartender still
doesn't
believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of
10-year
old scotch.
Again, same reaction from the patron. Finally, the bartender is
convinced. He pours the patron a glass of 12-year-old scotch.
The patron takes a sip and is most satisfied.
All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar
has
been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron
and
drunkenly
says: "Shay mishter, tashte this!"
The patron obliges...he promptly spits it out. "It tastes like
piss,"
he shoots back at the drunk.
The drunk replies: "It ish. How old am I?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get Your Doctor's Report.
Detailed information about your doctor that you need to know!
Plus - Sign up now get tools and tips!
Act Now - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's address
bar:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Viagra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man suffering from impotence went to see a specialist.
The doctor gave him a prescription that he was to take faithfully
three
times a day, and always with food.
Two days later the man was at a formal banquet and
didn't want any of the other guests to spot and possibly identify
his
pink and purple capsule medication. So he instructed the waiter to
empty
the capsule into his soup, thinking he could eat his soup openly
with
everyone else, take his medication, and preserve his privacy all at
the
same time.
However, when the soup was served everyone received
a bowl of it but the man, who began feeling conspicuous
and angry. He confronted the waiter and asked why he
hadn't been served his "special" soup.
"Well, sir, I poured your medication into your bowl as instructed.
Since
then, I have been waiting for the noodles to lie down."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heel-Tastic is an intensive heel therapy that will Soothe, Relieve
and Soften heels and feet! It penetrates deep to the source to
soothe dry skin. It also works great for rough knees, dry, itchy
elbows, even cuticles!
-Soothe!
-Relieve!
-Soften heels and feet!
-Easy-to-use!
Buy One Get One FREE for only $10 PLUS you'll get a Bonus 10-piece
grooming kit FREE
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How many Teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Fourteen. You gotta problem with that?
Q: Did you hear about the GM mechanic that had a sex change
operation?
A: He ended up changing his name to 'Ms. Goodwench'.
A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three
blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.
He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her
and
asks, "Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"
The blond answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our
new
maxi-pads with wings..."
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering
what the fuck happened!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get the lean, flat, rock-hard abs you've always wanted.
The Vibro Belt firms and strengthens target areas of the body. No
more costly gym memberships. This vibrating massage belt features a
variety of program settings, rotation directions and intensity
levels so you can customize your very own session. Simply switch
Vibro Belt on and let it work for you.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ugly Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're so ugly, when you walk into the bank
they turn off the cameras.
If ugliness were bricks, you would be the
Great Wall Of China.
You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house
and came out with an application.
If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the
electric chair.
You were so ugly at birth, your parents
named you Shit Happens.
You're so ugly, your mate won't have to
worry about birth control...your face
will do just fine.
You're so ugly, you could model for death
threats.
You're so ugly, when you were born they
put tinted windows on your incubator.
You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on
your mirror.
You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror
your reflection turns to stone.
You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand
the cats try to bury you.
You're so ugly, your doctor is a vet.
You're so ugly, when you were born the
doctor took one look at you and slapped
your parents.
You're so ugly, you stuck your head out of
the car window and got arrested for
mooning.
You're so ugly, your pet name is Scooby-Doo.
Your girl is so ugly, you gave her a hickey
and got a mouthful of fur.
You're so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat
by phone.
You're so ugly, when your mother went into
labour your father went into shock.
You're so ugly, everytime your mother looks
at you she says to herself, "Damn, I should've
just given head."
I know why you look like a horse, because I
saw your mother grazing in the field.
You're so ugly, when we play peek-a-boo
- first I peeked, then I booed.
You're so ugly, you can sink your face in
dough and make monster cookies.
You're so ugly, they call you Taco Bell,
when people see you they run for the border.
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
You're so ugly, the tide wouldn't bring you in.
You're so ugly, I took you to see the zookeeper
and he said, "Thanks for bringing him back."
You're so ugly, you mother had to get drunk
before she breast fed you.
You're so ugly, you went to a freak show and
got a permanent job.
You're so ugly, the police sketch artists are
afraid to draw you.
You're so ugly, when you get sick they call
the vet.
You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.
You're so ugly, farmers use your picture as
a scarecrow.
You're so ugly, everytime you go out you get
chased by the dog catcher.
You're so ugly, when you jerk off your hand
tries to fall asleep.
You're so ugly, you can't hail a bus.
You're so ugly, they call you Moses because
every time you step in the lake, the water
parts.
You're so ugly, you give Freddy Kruegger
nightmares.
You're so ugly, they let you park in
handicapped spaces.
You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang
it didn't come back.
You're so ugly, when you went to the zoo
they refused to let you out.
You're so ugly, you can't get a date off
the calendar.
You're so ugly, when your mother went into
labour the doctors went on strike.
You're so ugly, your last name is Link and
your first is Missing.
You're so ugly, people put your picture in
their car window as an anti-theft device.
You're so ugly, that you can turn milk into
yogurt, just by looking at it.
You're so ugly, people create a Jackson
Pollock style painting when they spew on
the floor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE LEGEND LIVES ON
Join Walter Cronkite as he Remembers the Events that Changed The
World
Called "the most trusted man in America," legendary CBS News anchor
and national icon Walter Cronkite gives you a revealing, insider's
look at the events that shaped our world in this collectible,
special edition DVD boxed set based on the Emmy Award-winning
series. Bring home Cronkite Remembers today!
7-1/2 hours of world-shaking stories on 3 DVDs Never-before-
archival clips & rare interviews Personal reflections, private
videos & photos Exclusive in-depth Bonus Features Commemorative
embossed tin box
Preview the entire series Risk Free!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Married
http://www.silveran
CALVARY'S HILL
http://www.wtv-
The Scriptures
http://www.poetryin
My Front Porch
http://www.reflecti
John/I Fall to Pieces
http://heavens-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Photo Gallery: Hoover Dam Bypass Bridge July 2009 Via O'sure
http://kingmandaily
l=2
JFK'S SISTER EUNICE KENNEDY SHRIVER DIES AT 88
http://celebritydea
Peppers .com Hot Recipes
http://www.peppers.
Invention Facts and Myths
http://www.ideafind
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Red X
http://support.
CSS CHEAT SHEET Via Wesley
http://xrl.in/
One Click Online Photo Retouching Service Via Wesley
http://www.pictreat
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or
crashing and freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to
major system problems and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few
minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention that your computer's registry does contain file "errors",
then it may be in your computer's best interest to fix the
potentially harmful file errors in your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Rarely Seen Babies!
http://www.shangral
Kitty Korner
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
you've downloaded any music, movie clips, or games in the past 2
months, then your computer may be infected with "Ad-Ware" and
"Spy-Ware"!
Advertisers use downloadable music as a vehicle to "legally" add
"Spy-Ware" and "Ad-Ware" to consumer PCs. If you're suspicious that
Internet Advertisers have added "Ad-Ware" or "Spy-Ware" to your
computer, then here's your chance to scan your computer at no
charge.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
FREE*- DATING SITE and DATING COMMUNITY!
Are you still SINGLE? Last week we sent you an email to notify you
about our new dating network that is -FREE- to join, and not only do
we have thousands of single women and men located right in your
city, but we have the EXACT SINGLE women and men that you would want
to meet and date this week!
PRESS HERE TO JOIN FOR NO COST (MUST BE 18 and OLDER):No Credit Card
Required:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Clips
Best Levis Ad Ever
http://www.buffalos
Burger
http://www.buffalos
Lunch
http://www.buffalos
Lynx Air
http://www.buffalos
Making A Good Taliban
http://www.buffalos
Male Invention 478
http://www.buffalos
Mans favorite Tool
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly
regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank
you."
she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age,
but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love." "That must
be rather difficult." the man replied. "Oh, I don't mind too much."
she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."
It was the first day of school, and the teacher was calling the
roll. She came to a strange name. The boy's name was I P.P.
Rainwater. She called it out. When the youngster stood up, the
teacher demanded he tell her his real name, or leave her class.
As he was leaving, he looked over at his younger brother and said,
"Come on Shithead. She won't believe you either."
Theory of Relativity: If you could fly twice the speed of light, you
could land on Mars, get out of your spaceship and watch yourself
come.
Or, cheaper way, install mirrors on your bedroom ceiling.
The businessman spent a good half an hour in the hotel lounge
bragging to the hooker about how big his dick was. Finally she
suggested they retire to his room and check it out, and he willingly
agreed. The guy stripped off his clothes, jumped on top of the
hooker, entered her, and said triumphantly, "Why don't you open your
mouth, baby, so I can see the end of my prick?" "Open my mouth?"
scoffed the hooker. "Why don't you wiggle your ass so I can feel
it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Your Food Fresh Up To 50 Days Longer
Always Fresh Containers help extend the lifespan of your fruits,
vegetables and much more. This ultimate food storage system absorbs
and removes food-spoling ethylene gas released during the natural
ripening process.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
complete asshole
http://www.buffalos
computer joke
http://www.buffalos
computer of yours
http://www.buffalos
condom 2
http://www.buffalos
condom mouth
http://www.buffalos
Anniversary
http://www.buffalos
Annoy Someone
http://www.buffalos
Another Planet
http://www.buffalos
Another Quarter
http://www.buffalos
Anti-Telemarketer
http://www.buffalos
Anivirus
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
World's Most Convenient Multi-Use Steamer
Steam Buddy is the quickest and safest way to remove wrinkles. It
gives you the power of the dry cleaner in the palm of your hand.
Steam Buddy is gentle enough for silk, but touch enough for linens.
It heats up in seconds and eliminates the hassle of ironing boards.
Steam up your life with Steam Buddy.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bather whose clothing was strewed,
By winds that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And unless we are wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.
____________
There was a young lass from Australia
Who painted her ass like a Dahlia
The shape it was fine
And the color devine
But the aroma--well, that was a faihlia
____________
There was a young lady named Kite
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She left home one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Repair Scratched Wood Instantly Stop covering up embarrassing
scratches...
clean and the scratch is gone. Fix It Wood works on all types of
wood colors, stains and grains. So whether your wood is dark, light
or in between it repairs it instantly. The wood scratch has met its
match. View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her
right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each
other." He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other
as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a
very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his
towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half
tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple.
This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before
he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a
few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told
yo u we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was
moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the
pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other
end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even
butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she
climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance
swimmer?"
'No," she said, "I was a hooker in Louisville, Kentucky and I worked
both sides of the Ohio River."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds
Slap Chop makes chopping up vegetables, nuts and fruits quick and
easy. The food gets finer with every slap - you'll never need to
switch the blade. Slap Chop is dishwasher safe making clean up a
breeze.
Order one today and get a second one at no charge.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see a doctor. The doctor
asked him all the usual questions - what were the symptoms, how long
had they been occurring, etc.
Suddenly, he interrupted the doctor. "Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't
need to ask my patients these kind of questions. I can tell what's
wrong just by looking." He smugly added, "Why can't you?"
The doctor nodded, stood back, looked him up and down, quickly wrote
out a prescription, handed it to him and said, "There you are. Of
course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to remove your testicles
and if that doesn't work we'll have you put to sleep."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time
Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
quality sound through the speakers in your car. Just plug Jupiter
Jack in your phone, preset your radio to 99.3 FM and you're ready to
start talking.
Order now and you'll get two Jupiter Jacks for the price of one.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1665
Food!
Rudy: Hungry!
Sandi: Yeah, me to.
Katie: We are batch'in it so what's for sup father?
BJ: Ideas?
Katie: PIZZA!
Rudy: Burgers!
Sandi: All the above!
BJ: We cannot get sloppy here.
Rudy: Sloppy joes?
BJ: How about a plan. We can have vegtables tonight with a small
meat dish.
Katie: Gag gag.
BJ: Tomorrow we can have little smokies.
Rudy: A-Roo!
BJ: The next night we can have hot links.
Sandi: Oh boy!
BJ: And then we can have homemade pizza.
Katie crying: Oh yes father.
BJ: Here Katie, let me wipe the tears from your eyes.
Katie: Sniff sniff, I just love pizza.
BJ: It will be a lite pizza, not too much on it, okay?
Katie: Okay.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
No comments:
Post a Comment